"Cowboy Casual"?

casey8784

Has anyone heard of this? Just got an invite to my cousin's twin boy's B'nai Mitzvah and this was added on the reception card. Service is in the morning and the party is 7pm - 11pm - what would one wear to this? I'm kind of just sitting here shaking my head...I'm heard of some of the more "creative" (fake?) attire styles (smart casual, sport casual, creative black tie) but never had heard of cowboy casual.

Should I wear cowboy boots, a jean skirt, and have a length of rope coiled at my hip?

climbingsingle

What in the hell? I have no idea. 

Teddy917

Sounds to me like they're having a cowboy-themed party. I, personally, would wear a nice dress, just because that feels more appropriate for a Bar Mitzvah than a cowboy outfit.

dramamonkey

I think it means jeans and boots and maybe a plaid shirt? 

APDSS22

It usually means something along the lines of not too formal.  Nice jeans (no holes), cowboy boots are ok footwear, and a less-dressy dress shirt like a plaid striped shirt would be acceptable.  I think it's ridiculous but I've actually heard of it.  It is usually implemented to make allowances for men who will refuse to wear anything other than their boots to a "nicer" occasion.

cruffino

aren't cowboys always casual? you got me on this one. maybe a nice LBD and a 10 gallon hat?

Jen4948

You could wear a denim skirt, boots, and a 10 gallon hat.  But definitely wear a skirt.

Edited to add: The above would be only for the reception.  For the services, dress as you would for church.

STARMOON44

I would wear a cocktail dress. I am a grown up and do not dress in costume. I would assume that instruction must surely be for children.

misssunshine17

This sounds like an embarrassing moment waiting to happen. n

casey8784

STARMOON44 said:

I would wear a cocktail dress. I am a grown up and do not dress in costume. I would assume that instruction must surely be for children.

For clarification, the boots, skirt, and rope outfit was supposed to come across as sarcastic...I forget message boards can't convey tone very well. I wouldn't actually wear that, it's just what popped in my head when I read the invite. Sorry if it came across as what I was thinking of wearing.

Maybe Bar/Bat/B'nai Mitzvahs have become a lot more informal than when I had mine? I went to another cousin's Bar Mitzvah last year and the party was held at an ice skating rink, and the parents told everyone to wear what they would "wear when going ice skating". I wore a dress, as did some others, but still felt a little over-dressed - many of the adults dressed down for the occasion also.

It may be only for the kids, but it so, I wonder why it would be put on the reception card that is sent to everyone, and not just passed by word of mouth amongst the twins and their friends at school/soccer games/etc?

MGP

Funny.  My Dad and his wife just got the same dress code request on a wedding invite a couple months ago.  This was also coupled with a request for "church attire" for the full Catholic ceremony and then "cowboy casual" for the reception after a two hour gap.  Don't get me started on the gap.  Or the honeymoon registry they had.

We live in Texas and although I don't see it too often "cowboy casual" can be interpreted many ways.  A baby shower I attended with that request meant to wear cowboy boots and a dress.  I went but didn't participate because I don't own any boots.  Other events I have seen things up to and including designer jeans, diamond jewelry, and boots more expensive than your car.  

I basically told my Dad that these people had no place to tell them how to dress, much less ask for a clothing change and for them to wear whatever they felt comfortable in.  Not to mention my Dad doesn't own a hat and boots either (we are from the northeast).  He wore a suit and she wore a cocktail dress and said most people were dressed the same way.

OP - just wear what you think is appropriate to the Bar Mitzvah.  Personally I would err on the side of being dressed appropriately for the religious part of the event rather than the party portion.

doeydo

I vote showing up like Cowboy Dan.

southernbelle0915

To play off @doeydo's steve martin... This is probably what the groomsmen are wearing:

MrsMack10612

What's a B'nai Mitzvah?  I've heard of Bar (boy) or Bat (girl), but never B'nai.

kitty8403

I wouldn't use this term, but I deal with real cowboys, so here's how it tends to go in our area.

For weddings or church: dark jeans, long-sleeve pearl snaps, vests, possibly bolos, black cowboy hats/boots for men. Also maybe Western suit jackets , depending on the season. For women, a nice dress is preferable; dark jeans and boots may be ok.

For really casual, lighter jeans, white hats, short-sleeved or sleeveless shirts. And or flannels and Carhartts for men. You can definitely get away with jeans here.

ETA: when in doubt, go for black accessories and dark wash, especially men. White hats and light blue denim are considered much less formal and may look inappropriate. A pretty dress that's easy to move in should be fine for you.

doeydo

MrsMack10612 said:

What's a B'nai Mitzvah?  I've heard of Bar (boy) or Bat (girl), but never B'nai.

I believe a B'nai Mitzvah is when there is more than one Bar Mitzvah, ie. twins.

casey8784

doeydo said:

MrsMack10612 said:

What's a B'nai Mitzvah?  I've heard of Bar (boy) or Bat (girl), but never B'nai.

I believe a B'nai Mitzvah is when there is more than one Bar Mitzvah, ie. twins.

exactly - B'nai is used when its for twins (or higher multiples) cause it can get confusing (and long-tongued) if the twins are boy/girl, etc

casey8784

@doeydo and @southernbelle0915 - those 2 images are basically what popped in my head when i read the invite....haha!

@mgp - my family is from the northeast also, but this part of the "branch of the family" lives in/around Kansas City. I went to school in Louisiana, so I do have a pair of good boots, but I can't see most of the family having anything "cowboy" like.

MGP

kitty8403 said:

I wouldn't use this term, but I deal with real cowboys, so here's how it tends to go in our area. For weddings or church: dark jeans, long-sleeve pearl snaps, vests, possibly bolos, black cowboy hats/boots for men. Also maybe Western suit jackets , depending on the season. For women, a nice dress is preferable; dark jeans and boots may be ok. For really casual, lighter jeans, white hats, short-sleeved or sleeveless shirts. And or flannels and Carhartts for men. You can definitely get away with jeans here. ETA: when in doubt, go for black accessories and dark wash, especially men. White hats and light blue denim are considered much less formal and may look inappropriate. A pretty dress that's easy to move in should be fine for you.

Very well put.  My take was more of a "non cowboys being invited to cowboy themed events" interpretation.

kitty8403

MGP said:

kitty8403 said:

I wouldn't use this term, but I deal with real cowboys, so here's how it tends to go in our area.

For weddings or church: dark jeans, long-sleeve pearl snaps, vests, possibly bolos, black cowboy hats/boots for men. Also maybe Western suit jackets , depending on the season. For women, a nice dress is preferable; dark jeans and boots may be ok.

For really casual, lighter jeans, white hats, short-sleeved or sleeveless shirts. And or flannels and Carhartts for men. You can definitely get away with jeans here.

ETA: when in doubt, go for black accessories and dark wash, especially men. White hats and light blue denim are considered much less formal and may look inappropriate. A pretty dress that's easy to move in should be fine for you.

Very well put.  My take was more of a "non cowboys being invited to cowboy themed events" interpretation.

Honestly, the more I think about this term, the more it irritates me. It sounds too much like an outsider who doesn't understand rural Western living trying to be cutesy and mostly just being uninformative/borderline offensive. There is a dress code for special events in such areas, but it's not as commonly known.

MGP

kitty8403 said:

kitty8403 said:

I wouldn't use this term, but I deal with real cowboys, so here's how it tends to go in our area. For weddings or church: dark jeans, long-sleeve pearl snaps, vests, possibly bolos, black cowboy hats/boots for men. Also maybe Western suit jackets , depending on the season. For women, a nice dress is preferable; dark jeans and boots may be ok. For really casual, lighter jeans, white hats, short-sleeved or sleeveless shirts. And or flannels and Carhartts for men. You can definitely get away with jeans here. ETA: when in doubt, go for black accessories and dark wash, especially men. White hats and light blue denim are considered much less formal and may look inappropriate. A pretty dress that's easy to move in should be fine for you.

Very well put.  My take was more of a "non cowboys being invited to cowboy themed events" interpretation.

Honestly, the more I think about this term, the more it irritates me. It sounds too much like an outsider who doesn't understand rural Western living trying to be cutesy and mostly just being uninformative/borderline offensive. There is a dress code for special events in such areas, but it's not as commonly known.

Exactly!  People who ask for this don't understand the term themselves and are just going for a certain "look".

PrettyGirlLost

Can't you just wear what you feel comfortable in?

Jen4948

casey8784 said:

doeydo said:

MrsMack10612 said:

What's a B'nai Mitzvah?  I've heard of Bar (boy) or Bat (girl), but never B'nai.

I believe a B'nai Mitzvah is when there is more than one Bar Mitzvah, ie. twins.

exactly - B'nai is used when its for twins (or higher multiples) cause it can get confusing (and long-tongued) if the twins are boy/girl, etc

It doesn't mean twins.  The word Bar means son of, the word B'nai means sons of.  Bat means daughter of, B'not means daughters of.  Mitzvah means commandment, so all the terms mean Son/s/Daughter/s of the Commandment.

The ceremony involves the boy/s or girl/s being called up to witness, or actually do, a reading from the Torah during a religious service.  It is a rite of passage that signifies attaining adulthood.

casey8784

Jen4948 said:

casey8784 said:

doeydo said:

MrsMack10612 said:

What's a B'nai Mitzvah?  I've heard of Bar (boy) or Bat (girl), but never B'nai.

I believe a B'nai Mitzvah is when there is more than one Bar Mitzvah, ie. twins.

exactly - B'nai is used when its for twins (or higher multiples) cause it can get confusing (and long-tongued) if the twins are boy/girl, etc

It doesn't mean twins.  The word Bar means son of, the word B'nai means sons of.  Bat means daughter of, B'not means daughters of.  Mitzvah means commandment, so all the terms mean Son/s/Daughter/s of the Commandment.

The ceremony involves the boy/s or girl/s being called up to witness, or actually do, a reading from the Torah during a religious service.  It is a rite of passage that signifies attaining adulthood.

yes, you're correct. it doesn't actually mean twins, I was just explaining that's the term used when there ARE more than one child is participating.for some reason not all of my response was posted, if it had been it would've been a more thorough answer that actually explained the difference

RebeccaB88

kitty8403 said:

I wouldn't use this term, but I deal with real cowboys, so here's how it tends to go in our area. For weddings or church: dark jeans, long-sleeve pearl snaps, vests, possibly bolos, black cowboy hats/boots for men. Also maybe Western suit jackets , depending on the season. For women, a nice dress is preferable; dark jeans and boots may be ok. For really casual, lighter jeans, white hats, short-sleeved or sleeveless shirts. And or flannels and Carhartts for men. You can definitely get away with jeans here. ETA: when in doubt, go for black accessories and dark wash, especially men. White hats and light blue denim are considered much less formal and may look inappropriate. A pretty dress that's easy to move in should be fine for you.

This is pretty much totally correct. I have lots of country family (cowboys/ranch hands), and here in Oklahoma, we would know what to do for 'cowboy casual'.  Dark starched jeans or western style dress pants, church boots (probably black, or something special like ostrich or gator), dress shirt, bolo, 'good' belt (with rodeo buckle if applicable), dress hat. Ladies can wear either a nice dress or dark starched jeans, dress shirt, and dress boots.

Honestly, if you're outside of a traditional 'country' state, this kind of thing really looks like they want you to wear a costume more than anything else.

WonderRed

I live in Colorado and have no freaking clue what that means.  But if it didn't include a rodeo monkey, I'd be pissed.

lovesclimbing

RebeccaB88 said:

kitty8403 said:

I wouldn't use this term, but I deal with real cowboys, so here's how it tends to go in our area. For weddings or church: dark jeans, long-sleeve pearl snaps, vests, possibly bolos, black cowboy hats/boots for men. Also maybe Western suit jackets , depending on the season. For women, a nice dress is preferable; dark jeans and boots may be ok. For really casual, lighter jeans, white hats, short-sleeved or sleeveless shirts. And or flannels and Carhartts for men. You can definitely get away with jeans here. ETA: when in doubt, go for black accessories and dark wash, especially men. White hats and light blue denim are considered much less formal and may look inappropriate. A pretty dress that's easy to move in should be fine for you.

This is pretty much totally correct. I have lots of country family (cowboys/ranch hands), and here in Oklahoma, we would know what to do for 'cowboy casual'.  Dark starched jeans or western style dress pants, church boots (probably black, or something special like ostrich or gator), dress shirt, bolo, 'good' belt (with rodeo buckle if applicable), dress hat. Ladies can wear either a nice dress or dark starched jeans, dress shirt, and dress boots.

Honestly, if you're outside of a traditional 'country' state, this kind of thing really looks like they want you to wear a costume more than anything else.

Ditto to both of these.

casey8784

what are "church boots"? fancier, non-scuffed boots?

RebeccaB88

casey8784 said:

what are "church boots"? fancier, non-scuffed boots?

Basically.  Most cowboys have 3 pair - work boots, which stay dirty and you always take them off at the door, good boots, which you don't wear to work but for everyday stuff like going to dinner, movies, two stepping, shopping, and church boots, or dress boots, which are a fancier/more expensive material (like the ostrich, gator, elk, snake) and are always kept clean, shined, and for special occasions, like weddings, funerals (your own or others), dates, parties.

Same goes for hats, belts, shirts, and jeans. Dress jeans are always dark, and always starched, the heavier the better. Pearl snaps are the dressiest shirts.

kitty8403

Yup. The problem with saying "cowboy casual," is that most people who don't live in the country think of "cowboys" as a lot of stereotypes and probably are not all that familiar with what is typically worn or considered appropriate for various occasions now. It does come off costumey to me; it practically screams, "hey all you city slickers! Come out to the sticks and dress like a COWBOY! You'll look ridiculous and annoy anybody who happens to be a genuine cowboy (or cowgirl), but it's all fun and games and you won't learn a darn thing!"

This is pretty much how I expect most locals to dress for our wedding. For out of towners, I don't think I'll bother unless they have a specific question about where the line is on wearing something like jeans or boots, because it's not really who they are and what will make them comfortable. I'll just say it's outside and let them dress themselves.