Blunt?

loves2shop4shoes

So, I've known many of you for years and years.  And I've been told I'm blunt by just about all of you (if not ALL of you.)  And I talked to my husband about it last night (idk how it came up)...and he agreed that I'm blunt, and some people can be put off by it.  The thing is, for me, I'm not intentionally TRYING to be blunt...it's not even a thought for me.  I just say what I think (and usually, I use some sort of a filter.)

I was wondering...

What do you mean when you say I'm blunt?

Does it have a good or bad connotation in your mind?

Is being blunt off putting to you?

Has there ever been a specific time when I said something and you were like... "Girl is BLUNT as a spoon"?

Do you feel like my bluntness has gotten better, worse, or the same over time?

Other thoughts about this?



I'm not trying to start drama, and I won't be upset about the responses.  I'm genuinely curious about these things, since this is such a subconscious part of my behavior.

GoldenPenguin

Because I am also told I'm blunt, I get this. I'll answer your questions.

What do you mean when you say I'm blunt? It means you tell it like it is. You don't sugarcoat. You don't fluff your advice, or tell people what they want to hear. 

Does it have a good or bad connotation in your mind? Since I am the same way, I don't think it's bad. I do, however, think that some people have a bad connotation of it because they don't like being told what they don't want to hear.

Is being blunt off putting to you? Nope.

Has there ever been a specific time when I said something and you were like... "Girl is BLUNT as a spoon"? I don't have a specific example off hand. I think it's how you are the majority of the time.

Do you feel like my bluntness has gotten better, worse, or the same over time? I think your bluntness has stayed the same. I think your APPROACH to your bluntness has gotten better. Not that you've gone soft on us, just that it's tempered a little bit. Does that make sense?

Other thoughts about this? When are we going skating?

cu97tiger

What do you mean when you say I'm blunt?

That you don't sugarcoat things. You say what you think, like you said, unfiltered.

Does it have a good or bad connotation in your mind?

I think this totally depends on the situation. Sometimes a softer stance can help a person get a point better than hitting them over the head with a hammer. But sometimes (like the 18th time you have to tell someone the same thing), blunt is totally warranted.

Is being blunt off putting to you?
Yes, sometimes it is. But that's because, as the grandchild of two alcoholics, I have a real big problem with anything that might make people upset/angry.

Has there ever been a specific time when I said something and you were like... "Girl is BLUNT as a spoon"?
Yes. When you were sitting in my kitchen, roughly an hour after meeting my husband for the first time (and maybe three hours after meeting me for the first time) and blatantly asked him in front of a group of internet strangers (to him) whether he'd have sex with me in our pool. Talk about putting someone on the spot.

Do you feel like my bluntness has gotten better, worse, or the same over time?
Better

Other thoughts about this?

There is no 'right' way to be blunt. Your honesty is part of who you are, and while I think it would be great for you (general you, as in EVERYONE) to have a greater sense of self-awareness and how words can affect people, at the same time, I don't want you (specific you and general you) to ever feel like you can't say what you think.

loves2shop4shoes

@BriSox81 STOP BADGERING ME ABOUT PROPOSAL.  ENJOY OUR RELATIONSHIP AS IT IS NOW!

@cu97tiger Poor Mr. Wildcat!  He handled that one so well.  I guess the projectile vomiting didn't stop when I left the car, it just came in the form of word vomit later.  Eesh.

doubleSS07

 

loves2shop4shoes said:

So, I've known many of you for years and years.  And I've been told I'm blunt by just about all of you (if not ALL of you.)  And I talked to my husband about it last night (idk how it came up)...and he agreed that I'm blunt, and some people can be put off by it.  The thing is, for me, I'm not intentionally TRYING to be blunt...it's not even a thought for me.  I just say what I think (and usually, I use some sort of a filter.)

I was wondering...

What do you mean when you say I'm blunt?

Blunt to me just sort of saying what you think tothe point, no niceties, no beating around the bush. Just boom here it is, my thoughts on the matter.

Does it have a good or bad connotation in your mind?

eh it depends on the situation.  If I know you and we are friends and we normally communicate that way, then no.  If I just met you, I could be a little put off. 

Is being blunt off putting to you?
Sometimes.  It really depends on the situaton for me.  I don't mind people being blunt but sometimes, depending on the delivery and wha it is youa re trying to convey, it is better to say things in a softer way.  If only because everyone has a different personality and if your goal is to have them actually hear your thoughts, then the delivery may need to adjust.

Has there ever been a specific time when I said something and you were like... "Girl is BLUNT as a spoon"?  Not in particular.

Do you feel like my bluntness has gotten better, worse, or the same over time?

I would say (based only on what I see in writing since we haven't had the chance to meet in person) that it has gotten somewhat better.  I think that you genuinely want to give good advice and answers to people's questions.  It seems like lately you still deliver the same no nonsense advice but in a different way.

Other thoughts about this?

I love makeup talk, please blog!

desertsun

What do you mean when you say I'm blunt?

You are very straightforward and direct.

Does it have a good or bad connotation in your mind?

I'm going to agree with Tiger that it depends on the situation/audience. Sometimes being too blunt can be counterproductive because it can hurt peoples' feelings or put them on the defensive. Taking a moment to consider how someone might perceive your words can help you communicate more effectively. 

Is being blunt off putting to you?
No. I tend to be pretty blunt myself, in that I provide an honest opinion when asked. (Or when people put their personal bidness on the interwebs.) But again, I usually try to take a minute and think about how I can put things in order for someone to be receptive to my message and for my words to be constructive. 

Has there ever been a specific time when I said something and you were like... "Girl is BLUNT as a spoon"?
I can't remember specific words or the specific situation, but yes, I have read your posts and sometimes thought that while you might have had a valid point, it was completely overshadowed by the delivery. 

Do you feel like my bluntness has gotten better, worse, or the same over time?
In general, I feel you have become a bit more sensitive to others over time. I think you have learned to be vulnerable yourself and to be more honest with yourself and others. I think NEY has served you well and you have grown a lot as a person over the past year or so. KUDOS. 

Other thoughts about this?

There is a difference between being direct/honest, and saying things for affect. I sometimes feel you work at being a badass or to impress others with clever, cutting remarks. I think most posters on NEY or TK are guilty of the same at one time or another. But again, I do feel that you have really grown, and you deserve to take pride in that.  

Shiroyasha

I like that you're blunt.  Most of the time we don't need to hear the sugar-coated stuff, as much as it's what we want to hear.  It's not necessarily a bad thing, but there are times when being blunt isn't really how something should be phrased.  

bride2b71614

I think blunt means not sugar coating what you are saying. Blunt is giving your opinion honestly and confidently. 

katieg520

I, personally, don't think being blunt is a bad thing. Most of the time it's not WHAT people say, it's HOW you say it. With my job, I've learned how to basically tell parents that their child is a pain in the ass and they leave the meeting loving me still. LOL. Sometimes people (and I don't mean you, bc I haven't been around long enough to know exactly how you are) take things too far and come across as mean or bitchy because of their delivery. If you're trying to be helpful, then your tone should be just that, helpful. Not condescending or judgmental. That's just my two cents.

Blue & White

@loves2shop4shoes I don't think you've ever ripped me a new one, so in that case, I'm not holding any grudges against your being blunt!  So that's definitely a good thing (in my opinion).  That being said, in the Divergent series the faction Candor treasures honesty...but that sometimes means that they are blunt and don't always appreciate the reactions of others before stating their opinion.

It's an interesting concept and one to think about

But frankly, the next time a crazy girl comes on here wanting to plan an ice skating wedding with some guy she isn't even dating yet?  Yea, let your bluntness fly.  The next time one of us is having troubles in the relationship that scream "RED FLAG!!!!!"?  Let your bluntness fly.

Sometimes we need to hear it

And frankly, the worst you can do is be too blunt...and then usually there's still room to apologize if necessary.  Not apologize for what you said, necessarily, but apologize for how it was taken. I like to think we're all big girls enough to accept an apology when warranted.