Wedding dilemma!

Sheena Saguindel

Hi everyone,

My fiance and I are having a courthouse wedding at the beginning of next year. He is military so I'll be moving with him to his next station. We are also planning a "big" wedding in 2015. We would like one of our friends to marry us at the "big" wedding but would he need to get an officiant license even though my fiance and I would already be married and have signed the paperwork from the courthouse wedding?

MikesAngie

Once you are married you are married. I'm not going to go into the whole do-over side eye or vow renewal issue.  I'm just going to answer your question - you will be married therefore you will not need a marriage license or and officiant license.  Your friend can read your ceremony if that is what you want to do. 

MobKaz

This will answer all your questions........

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/996776/legally-married-now-having-a-real-wedding-stop-here-first-aka-the-ppd-faq-thread/p1

right1thistime

Mobkaz- great link!  Although I am not 100% in agreement for every circumstance, it's a great general post that covers all the points. 

katieg520

Oh Lord, here comes the shit storm. I wish people wouldn't post such details and just get to their question.

MobKaz

katieg520 said:

Oh Lord, here comes the shit storm. I wish people wouldn't post such details and just get to their question.

I'm not sure what you mean or what you are implying here.  

Three people responded to the OP.  More than enough details were provided from the OP to receive an answer to her question.  Responses will more than adequately "get" to her question.  What other details need to be included?  

radleyboo

PLEASE take a moment and visit the Etiquette Board.  The day that you and your FI tie take your vows and legally become married is the day you have your wedding, whether it's in front of a JOP, in a church, or in a drive through in Las Vegas with Elvis officiating.  

Here is my advice:

-Visit the Etiquette Board and search 'Wedding Redo', 'PPD', etc.

-Go ahead and get married in the courthouse and enjoy life as husband and wife.  Congratulations.

-Have a RECEPTION or a CELEBRATION of your marriage in 2015, which can be a very nice party that includes food, drinks, music, dancing, etc. but should not include a wedding party, vows, ceremony, garter toss, ring exchange, or any of the trappings of a wedding because it will not be a wedding, you are already married.  

photokitty

This board refers to second weddings after a divorce. This board is geared toward ladies who got married, divorced and are getting married again for the second, third, etc time. It's not in reference to multiple weddings to the same person without a divorce occurring in between  

The etiquette board should be more "helpful" in regards to your situation.

GL!

clg1213

Just adding to Photo's post to be comprehensive....this board also includes some brides who were widowed and are getting remarried (not my case, but I've seen more than one such "second wedding" bride). 

CTYankeeBride

mobkaz said:

katieg520 said:

Oh Lord, here comes the shit storm. I wish people wouldn't post such details and just get to their question.

I'm not sure what you mean or what you are implying here.  

Three people responded to the OP.  More than enough details were provided from the OP to receive an answer to her question.  Responses will more than adequately "get" to her question.  What other details need to be included?  

I think what katieg520 meant was that many people on TK (myself included) can really get passionate about how rude it is to have a wedding do-over (or PPD, or fake wedding as you'll find it called on the etiquette board) and that OP would have saved herself some lecturing if she had left that detail out.  

The problem with leaving out that detail is that it does change the answer.  If this was a wedding, the friend would need to be licensed to officiate wherever the ceremony takes place.  Since the OP has already had a wedding and this is a PPD, it doesn't matter if a piece of toast officiates because they are already married.

photokitty

clg1213 said:

Just adding to Photo's post to be comprehensive....this board also includes some brides who were widowed and are getting remarried (not my case, but I've seen more than one such "second wedding" bride). 

true dat! Didn't mean to leave out the other truly second time brides. The key is it doesn't refer to marrying the same person without a divorce in between. Do overs aren't second wedding's by this board standards.

doeydo

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/996776/legally-married-now-having-a-real-wedding-stop-here-first-aka-the-ppd-faq-thread/p1  (in case you didn't click on the link the first time it was posted).

mrs4everhart

Sheena Saguindel said:

Hi everyone,

My fiance and I are having a courthouse wedding at the beginning of next year. He is military so I'll be moving with him to his next station. We are also planning a "big" wedding in 2015. We would like one of our friends to marry us at the "big" wedding but would he need to get an officiant license even though my fiance and I would already be married and have signed the paperwork from the courthouse wedding?

Your friend would not need a license to officiate at your "big day" in 2015 as it is ceremonial in nature not legally binding. HOWEVER, you all may need to look in to what type of ceremony you'd like to have. If it's religious at all he or she may want to be ordained prior. If no one is concerned about those details write it up and have a blast!