Wedding Etiquette Forum

Do I send StD's again?

Our wedding was to be August 10, 2013 but we found a house we loved and decided a home was more important. We had already sent STD's because my whole family would be out of town. Many of them know that we pushed it back but some of them may not. Our wedding will now be August 16, 2014. Do we send StD's again and if so, do we mention that we pushed it back on that StD? I'm afraid some may just think I didn't invite them if they did not know it was pushed back.

Re: Do I send StD's again?

  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2013
    I would send STDs again because a lot of the guests will be OOT.  I would not give a reason for why the wedding was pushed back on the actual STD.  Also, I think everyone that was given a STD before should be given one again and be invited.
    Edited to fix typo
    image
  • No one would have been able to book a flight- they would have only had the date and no idea where it was going to be. If they didn't know it was pushed--it's because they are not someone that I am frequently in contact with (extended family).
  • PDKH said:
    Why didn't you notify your all guests that you were pushing back your wedding? Some of them probably thought you sent them a STD but didn't actually invite them. 
    This. You should have told everyone immediately, and yes, now you need to contact these people. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • annathy03annathy03 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    If you know no one booked flights I would just send new StDs. I'm used to StDs including the city they are in, at which point some people would make travel arrangements.

    ETA: I don't think it's possible to know everyone didn't book anything if your StDs included city and you don't talk to them often. My FMILs friends booked their flight on a verbal invite from her, we hadn't even sent StDs, if she hadn't told us we would have no clue.
  • Blue_Bird said:
    Our wedding was to be August 10, 2013 but we found a house we loved and decided a home was more important. We had already sent STD's because my whole family would be out of town. Many of them know that we pushed it back but some of them may not. Our wedding will now be August 16, 2014. Do we send StD's again and if so, do we mention that we pushed it back on that StD? I'm afraid some may just think I didn't invite them if they did not know it was pushed back.
    I don't understand this at all. Your wedding date has come and gone. Are you saying that you didn't call people to tel them that the wedding was postponed by a year?! Yes, I'm sure ALL of them think that they just haven't been invited and are angry and hurt. You need to call, and/or possibly write a note of apology to everyone.
    This.  It's incredibly rude to send people a STD but not have the courtesy to call EVERYONE and let them know it's postponed.  If you did this to me, I would probably decline the next invite.  Heck, I may just say I'm coming and then not show up.  
  • Wow, I can't imagine receiving a STD and not an invite (Oh wait, this happened to me once-I thought they were incredibly rude for implying I was invited via STD and then never extending an invite).  OP, you should have called or emailed every single person on your list, individually, to let them know the wedding was being postponed.  The fact that you didn't and now you want to send them NEW STDs for a NEW date, well, you owe them a big apology if you want to do that.  I understand, it's a lot of people to call.  I postponed my wedding too-but somehow, between my FI and I, we managed to contact every single person who received a STD.  Get on the ball, and fast.
  • I agree that you need to call everyone who was originally given a STD. If anything, just to explain the situation. If I were one of those guests I'd be thinking what the heck happened to this wedding that I was supposedly going to get invited to? Then if you never contacted me and sent another STD I would be even more confused about what exactly was going on.

    Contact everyone, inform them of what happened, then you can resend your new STDs. Though, if you are going to invite these people to the "new" wedding date (as you should), and you contact by phone, telling them the new date and location is enough and then you can save on the STD and send an invitation at the appropriate time. 
  • Our wedding was to be August 10, 2013 but we found a house we loved and decided a home was more important. We had already sent STD's because my whole family would be out of town. Many of them know that we pushed it back but some of them may not. Our wedding will now be August 16, 2014. Do we send StD's again and if so, do we mention that we pushed it back on that StD? I'm afraid some may just think I didn't invite them if they did not know it was pushed back.
    Then why on earth didn't you let them know?  That was extremely rude of you.



  • Our wedding was to be August 10, 2013 but we found a house we loved and decided a home was more important. We had already sent STD's because my whole family would be out of town. Many of them know that we pushed it back but some of them may not. Our wedding will now be August 16, 2014. Do we send StD's again and if so, do we mention that we pushed it back on that StD? I'm afraid some may just think I didn't invite them if they did not know it was pushed back.


    OP I sure hope that is a typo! If it is not what you did is incredibly rude.  You should have/need to contact everyone who received a StD and let them know why they never got an invite!  If I were one of your guests and received a StD without and invite I would be hurt.  What you did (whether intentional or not) is very rude.  You esentially told everyone they were invited to a wedding on a date that has already passed, and then never actaully invited them (and they all have no idea why) 

    I think you need to call everyone that got the first StD and tell them exactly why you were so rude to them, before you even consider mailing out new ones.

  • I can't get passed the fact that you postponed your wedding but neglected to let any of your guests know about it.

  • PPs pretty much have things covered.  I just wanted to add a thought/take  -- If you make any changes post-STD or post-invite, it is your job to notify people, not their job to somehow find out. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • yes, as soon as you canceled your August 10, 2013 wedding you should have sent a message to your guests letting them you have changed the date right away.  You are lucky no one booked a flight before knowing it was pushed back (we had many guests purchase flights a few months prior to our wedding based off the STD).  Consider yourself lucky and send an apology/new date announcement ASAP 
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    Anniversary
  • You definitely should have let your guests know as soon as you postponed the date of the change of date.  Now you should definitely ASAP send at least those same guests a new STD with the new date and an apology.
  • Save the Dates aren't required, so I'd probably skip them this time, in case you decide to flake out on your guests again.  I doubt I'd trust another one from you, after all that.  Send invitations when it's time and let the chips fall where they may.  
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