I am so happy to say that I am engaged to the love of my life and we are to be married in Mexico in November. This engagement has been extra special to me because my father recently passed away in September of 2010. I am still dealing with the aftermath of the loss as he was my best friend, my go-to guy, my financial advisor, my business partner and pretty much the foundation I had built my life upon. Are you getting the picture here?? Yes, this post is from a daddy's girl
My biological parents divorced when I was very young, 2 or 3 and it wasn't the most amicalbe split. It left my dad with a bit of anger for my mother that took him up until the end of his life to truly forgive. I guess you could say that cancer makes you look at life with a whole new set of eyes. My father re-married when I was 6 and my step-mother raised me along with my father. I did keep in contact with my biological mother and saw her throughout my life, but my step-mother was there on a daily basis.
After my fathers passing, I began counseling to help me deal. I learned alot about myself, my "issues" and more importantly, my feelings for both of my mothers. (I do call them both Mom, talk about confusing for my fiance ... he never knows which person I am talking about when I say "I talked to Mom today .."). My father was my family and the one I felt most connected to and without him, I have been struggling with feeling disconnected and want more than anything to connect with my family, where I came from, the biological ones.
Having said all of that, my issue is this. I have learned through my step-brother (who I consider my brother) that my step-mother does not want to come to my wedding because my biological mother will be invited. I guess now that dad is not with us, she is technically a stranger to me? I never thought of our relationship as being technical but this as well as some of her other recent behavior suggests that I may be dreaming we are still mother and daughter.
I want them both there, but I have a feeling my step mother cannot deal with my biological mother being there. My biological mother on the other hand is open to spending time with her and has even thanked her in the passed for raising her kids. I should clarify though, I want them both there without drama
. Is this even possible?
I am getting my invitations together and have tried to talk with my step-mother about this topic. She has conveniently avoided me for over a week. I know I still have time before I have to send the invitations out but has anyone dealt with a similare situation? Should I realistically invite both?
Thanks for your help,
-The Daughter Dilemma