Promise Rings??...

lindsayloowhoo · June 2011

So despite being sick, I can't seem to fall asleep. My mind keeps trying to wander in to what I consider a mine field. (things like my relationship with BF, e rings, proposals, weddings, kids, houses)

Anyway, I was browsing the interwebs and am now just wondering what everyone thinks about promise rings?? Curiosity

AudgiePodge · June 2011

A promise to promise to get married? Uh, no.

meamolly · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promise-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2c3d6942-fe5e-439b-ab7d-7d63a1f6f623Post:1966bf5f-2005-4db1-ae2c-8308d737b20a">Re: Promise Rings??...</a>:
[QUOTE]A promise to promise to get married? Uh, no.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]
this

Heather2425 · June 2011

Sorta cute when you're in high school (like when the boy saves up all his money to buy the girl something special), but other than that, no. He can save the money towards an actual engagement ring.

bethsmiles · June 2011

Personally, they are not my style. I kind of get the point of having (or giving) one if a couple is in high school or for some other reason won't be getting married within the next couple of years. But if a proposal is in the near (or somewhat near) future it seems like a waste of money. I can understand wanting that symbol of commitment but I think it's better just to wait for the engagement ring.

lilphillips14 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promise-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2c3d6942-fe5e-439b-ab7d-7d63a1f6f623Post:9532fb3e-1c89-48b6-9cea-88cc8d4dfda9">Re: Promise Rings??...</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorta cute when you're in high school (like when the boy saves up all his money to buy the girl something special), but other than that, no. He can save the money towards an actual engagement ring.
Posted by Heather2425[/QUOTE]

<div>Pretty much what I was thinking. Especially what's bolded.</div>

peekaboo2011 · June 2011

You aren't going to get a lot of fans of them around here.

FWIW, I had one, as did FI. We did them when we went long distance as a constant reminder of each other. That, and I told him I wanted the magical powers that a ring on a man's finger wields against the loose women of DC.

SeaTea02 · June 2011

FI bought me one when I was in high school and he was leaving for college. It is a beautiful ring and I still love it. It was a double bypass ring so it did not look like an engagement ring. This worked for us at 17/18 years old when marriage was not an option due to age and school. If he had bought me this while we were of an appropriate age and circumstance to get married I would almost be offended. Why would he buy you a promise ring instead of just an engagement ring for the same price? Honestly, for an adult, it seems like a way to avoid actual commitment.

Sparrow87 · June 2011

What is the promise for? If it's marriage like some PP's (and a lot of other school girls I suspect) I had one with my high school sweet-heart. I asked the same question of him "What does this mean?" and his response was something vague like "a symbol of my love for you." I found out later that the other girls that he began dating at the same time all got similar "love symbols."

So call it bitterness over a bad experience if you like, but I think they're just a load of crap that high school boys who think they're sly dole out to naive little girls and don't have much of a place in the adult world. IMHO.

But as I've said in the past I'm not much of a romantic so take it as you will.

lmwilber · June 2011

Promise Rings as normally understood, as in I promise to ask you to marry me some day, are lame after high school.

Commitment Rings' (which is how I think of Peeks' rings with BF) are a nice choice if you do the LDR thing, or if you both want to show the world that you are committed. I have a claddagh ring that I wear, when BF asked about it, I told him the history of it, and that the way you wear it shows your status. He though it was cool. A few days later we were at a street fair, and he was looking at a men's style silver claddagh band. He liked the idea of a ring that showed that we were both in committed relationships, so I got it for him. We dont wear them on our left ring fingers, nor do we wear them all the time, but its a nice reminder of the start of our relationship, and that we are committed to each other.

Any other need for a sparkly to back up a commitment seems wrong to me. Like its needed to validate the relationship in some way.

calindi · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promise-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2c3d6942-fe5e-439b-ab7d-7d63a1f6f623Post:643d5e9d-3ee3-4df7-a1f3-41adfdb14372">Re: Promise Rings??...</a>:
[QUOTE]You aren't going to get a lot of fans of them around here. FWIW, I had one, as did FI. We did them when we went long distance as a constant reminder of each other. That, and I told him I wanted the magical powers that a ring on a man's finger wields against the loose women of DC.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

I know you're joking around, but a lot of people do believe that they'll "mark their territory" if you're each wearing a ring and prevent cheating. Cheating will happen with or without a ring if the person wants to do it. If the purpose of a ring is to ward off suitors, or to visually mark your territory, then I think it's lame and useless.

I wouldn't have done one, but I know lots of girls who did. In my mind, if you're going to do it, then have it be a symbol between the two of you and not an outward symbol. Basically, don't wear it on your left ring finger. Wear it on your right hand, so it will still be a personal gesture and have personal meaning without looking like a baby engagement ring.

jaycee7389 · June 2011

I think promise rings are pretty lame, even in HS. I had one, not gonna lie. Obviously that didn't work out so well haha. If anything, my BF in HS "promised" to be a jacka$$.

I like how imwilber mentioned committment rings. I think it's acceptable to have a ring or piece of jewelry that in a way represents your relationship. As long as it is not a promise for marriage or anything like that.

polkadot111 · June 2011

I do not see the point of promise rings. At all.

loves2shop4shoes · June 2011

I don't really see the point. If you buy your GF a ring to wear as jewelry, it's just jewelry. If you buy her a ring to symbolize your commitment, it's an e-ring. I feel like promise rings are for the commitment phobic or for young people who are trying to show everyone (including themselves) just how serious their relationship is.

lavenderfields13 · June 2011

Jaycee I was going to say the same thing lol. I got a promise ring from my BF when I was in high school. Like PPs I think there is no point for them after high school

Peaseblossom55 · June 2011

Seems a bit silly, just save that money towards a nice engagement ring in the future, even if it's a few years of months away. I wouldn't expect a ring as a promise from a BF I would take him for his word.

ravenray · June 2011

I kind of have one. But not really. The Bf and I exchanged rings when we did LDR but they weren't like I want to marry you ring, more like remember me and I love you. Though BF's ring to me does say R, I'll love you forever. But they aren't promise to marry you rings. I wear mine every day (it is just a plain silver band) and so does he (well when he isn't yoyoing, yes I said yoyoing. Don't ask...lol). However, because of bad sizing problems they don't fit on our ring fingers so they are on the middle fingers.

In general, I think of promise rings are like purity rings, pointless. As Candi said rings don't change a persons behavior. I can see how they could be used as putting off women. I don't hate them but I don't really like them either...

kell.dogg · June 2011

I wear a ring on my ring finger that was given to my by my BF. Call it a "promise" ring or a "committment" ring...its pretty much the same thing.

Yes we did start dating at a young age, but I think promise/committment rings can be something special to a couple. And often times have more meaning then just "lets let the other HS boys and girls know we are dating". Mine means a lot of things to us - abstaining from sex till marriage, and committing not to just date for fun. Its more of a promise/committment between us, I don't care too much what others assume or think it means, because they don't truly know.

(I've never posted before, I just usually snoop around here. But my little ring means a lot to me so I thought I'd give another side to the discussion!)

jorhys · June 2011

BF got me a promise ring years ago. I still love the ring and wear it every day. It was not a promise to marry (that doesn't make sense... a promise to one day promise to get married??) Before he gave it to me he simply said it was a promise to love me the best that he knew how. It was basically the same as just getting a piece of jewelry but the sentiment was so sweet. I wear it on my middle finger (not ring finger) and will probably continue wearing it on the other hand once we are engaged.

ADTonk · June 2011

I think they're lame-o.

heyimbren · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promise-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2c3d6942-fe5e-439b-ab7d-7d63a1f6f623Post:ab5554ce-b2af-4af1-8a7a-faa1778808e3">Re: Promise Rings??...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't agree with alot of the posters here although I do understand a few of your points. I have never posted before but it just upset me that you all are judging promise rings as lame high school love symbols. I completely disagree with that. I have a promise ring and I got it when I was getting ready to go to college. My BF gave it to me on our anniversary as a promise to love me and be together forever. He was still in highschool at the time and I was going off to college. We had already been together for a very long time but wasn't at an appropriate age to get engaged or married. I had no idea he was going to give it to me. It means a lot for our relationship. I just wanted to give you my point of view on it.
Posted by mandyangel08[/QUOTE]

Besides the fact that this is an older post, I wanted to add to your post Mandy that there are some girls on here who have had promise rings. But the OP was asking about the general opinions about them- and a lot of people don't like them for the reasons stated. If you two are happy with it, then fine.

But it also sounds like your promise ring was a highschool love symbol... since you were just out of highschool and your BF was still in highschool. It may continue past that and couples may stay together.

Ashep19 · October 2012

My boyfriend gave me a commitment/promise ring and he has one too, I love it. We are both 19 and at University. I go to uni at the beach and he goes to the one in the city 2 hours away . We got these because before we started uni we saw eachother everyday and so the rings can remind eachother that even though we live apart we a still close I know some people have real LDR and I'm not trying to say mine is the same its just different to what we are used to The main reason is that we love eachother and we want to get married one day it's just that we are young and we want to finish uni and get some money first. We also said we wanted a year between getting engaged and getting married so this is a stage in our life where we know we will but it will be in 3/4 years. I can see what some of the other people have said about guys using it to shut a girl up, get in her pants etc but I know my BF isn't like that. I'm new and I just wanted to share me story

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