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Military Brides
Soon to be Army Wife
So we're getting married 
He's been in the Army for 14 years and has 6 years left till he retires.
I'm kinda like a new age hippie... No offense (and this is might get me in trouble with many well involved military wives)... but I've never ooooo'ed and awe'ed over the military. Or known a damn thing about the real world of the military. Honestly, I was slightly opposed to it being a person of anti-fighting/war kind of perspective. Can't we all just get along UNTIL I got involved in this relationship. We've been together 2 years and will be married next year. I now have had my eyes opened to the "Real World" of military life. I've heard the stories (when he's willing to share.. mostly only after several beers) of his years in Iraq. I think it's the stories of how a simple pencil is like gold to the children in the area he served. New perspective and respect given.
UNTIL I got involved in this relationship. We've been together 2 years and will be married next year. I now have had my eyes opened to the "Real World" of military life. I've heard the stories (when he's willing to share.. mostly only after several beers) of his years in Iraq. I think it's the stories of how a simple pencil is like gold to the children in the area he served. New perspective and respect given.Anyway, he's not hard core military. lol He's actually part Army, part Biker and a goofy karaoke singing gamer that collects horror "action figures" LOL
He's been stationed here in my home town for 2 1/2 years as a recruiter. His term is up in February 2012 and he will go back to active duty and be stationed I suppose where they need him unless he's lucky enough to get a location he requests.
Here's the point of this long post.
I'm 27. I have a 7 year old son with Asperger's (High Functioning Autism).
This small home town is all he's ever known and I also have been here the majority of my life. Though I'm itching to start over in a new area again. I have a very nice career that I will leave behind and my son and I will be leaving a large amount family and friends. Not to mention the great special education department of his school and a wonderful play therapist.
He and I have talked about just commuting if he gets stationed in one of the 3 locations that are within a 4 hour drive, but how long will that really work...
Any tips, stories, advice on starting this new life and how to cope with the lengthy absense of loved ones..... OR.... What if he gets orders to go over seas again...
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Re: Soon to be Army Wife
I understand concerns for your son but do you think it would stress him out even more having a commuting lifestyle. How would commuting work for you? I am a teacher and we get new students who are in special education all the time. They can and do adjust. It might take longer but it's possible.
There have been serval threads of advice for dealing with separation/deployment - you may want to browse through some old posts to see what people had to say! A common piece of advice is to keep yourself busy and cultivate the parrts of your life that are not dependent on him - hobbies, work, friends, etc.
You son sure adds an extra element to the whole situation. My brother has Asperger's, although he's in his 20's now, but I'm familiar with how changes in routine can be so upsetting! Military life might be stressful for him, and while you're his mom and know him best, I'm sure there are ways you can help him adapt to the marriage, the move (if you move) and future deployments.
When do you find out where he'll be stationed?
As far as dealing with deployments and being seperated from your loved one, there are plenty of resources on base where he is stationed/going to get stationed that you can contact. They have military life consultants that are free to talk to and its all confidential. They have several years of experience and have seen it ALL! They will be able to help you work through some of you worries about your situation, especially when it comes to your son. Those are just one resource... There are Family Readiness Groups, and they always have programs you can check into. Just ask your FI to use resources that are on base. That's what those programs are used for. Check into children resources too, that may answer some of your questions concerning your son. You never know, you may find resources that can help your son in the specific areas you need.
Deployments are ALWAYS rough, and the majority of people may not understand what military families go through... and that by itself can be frustrating. Not only that but it's not normal to be seperated from your loved one for a long period of time... Being seperated from my FI is not new to me, but I remembered to keep busy! I think that's the one key to surviving seperations.
Sorry this was so long... but I really do hope this helps! Congrats again!
Good luck with everything and congratulations!!
Just ask your FI about it, if he's been in 14 years, he'll definitely know of the program. The regulation that covers it is AR 608-75. You can even Google it and try to read through it, but it'll probably be pretty confusing to you- you might need him to help you "decode" it.