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bio dad vs step dad...don't want to hurt anyone's feelings...help!

dancer14dancer14 member
First Comment
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
This is going to be my biggest challenge planning our wedding. I grew up with my mom and step dad (they seperated for a few years and my mom and I went to live with my grandma). My real dad has never really been in my life. He would always come and go. We just "re-found" eachother about 2 years ago and this is the longest we have been talking, which I'm pretty happy about, yet scared at the same time that he will leave again...
who walks me down the aisle? who do i dance with? who's "giving" me away? the list goes on. I've been half tempted to just elope..but I want so badly to have a nice wedding with all my friends and family.
My biggest fear is that I hurt someone. My mom and step dad just found out that my real dad and I are speaking again and aren't happy one bit. I know they just don't want to see me hurt again..
any help would be great. Thank you!


Being in love isn't easy, it's full of Heartbreak and happiness, Joy and Loss. When you decide to remain together after everything, you've found true love.

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Re: bio dad vs step dad...don't want to hurt anyone's feelings...help!

  • bidge24bidge24 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    i'm kind of in your shoes along with real dad coming in and out of your life.  if it was up to me i would walk myself down the isle, but my dad is paying for the wedding so i'm letting him give me away.  so i guess my advice for you is either have your step dad give you away since he has been a bigger part of your life, or walk yourself down the isle.
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  • dancer14dancer14 member
    First Comment
    glad to hear other people understand where i'm coming from too...thank you for the tip! good luck to you too :)
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  • LSquared1024LSquared1024 member
    10 Comments
    I am in the same boat. Raised by mom and step dad. Bio dad was always in my life, but not really. I mean I visited him like once a year for a week or so.

    FI and I are paying for almost off of the wedding ourselves, so that made the decision easier. I think it would make a difference.

    I am having each of my dad's walk their wife right before me (so parents NOT being sat before bridal party). Bridal party, then my bio dad and step mom and then my mom and step dad. They will all stand at the end of the aisle and I will walk myself. They will all say "we do" when asked who gives me away.

    Not sure about the dance, might not do it at all...
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  • LSquared1024LSquared1024 member
    10 Comments
    I should also mention that I discussed it with them both and they are both okay with it.
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  • TrishesTrishes
    100 Comments
    This is a really personal decision that only you can make, but if you're asking for advice - I have the same sort of situation. I'm choosing the dad that raised me, cared for me, and was there for me my entire life - not just part of it.
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  • dancer14dancer14 member
    First Comment
    thank you all for you advice! i appreciate it!!!!
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