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Seating Chart...

mbuckley85mbuckley85 member
500 Comments Second Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Who makes the seating chart??  I assumed myself/my family would, with some questions going to my FMIL for specifics like who she wanted to sit with at her table and then with seating some of the people from her side that I really don't know well.  Today, I heard through the grapevine that FMIL is planning on doing the seating chart for "her side" so now I'm unsure.  Do I let her or do I do it as I planned?
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Re: Seating Chart...

  • Meegles4Meegles4 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited September 2012
    I did mine and H's friends and my family. I counted how many guests where strictly MIL's family/friends (not otherwise accounted for in H's friend group) and allocated that many tables/seats. I told MIL where her tables where (with the appropriate number of seats) and she told me who should sit together at which table. She never saw the entire seating chart, but she knew and dictated exactly where her people would be sitting in relation to her at the wedding.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I consulted my MIL on her side of the family.  It was just easier for me and DH was no help in that department.   He was help with the friends though.  

    I mostly did my side, but ask my mom for some help.






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  • Eliz77Eliz77 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    I stressed over the seating chart for llike, a full day, before I decided two things 1-people will be fine wherever you put them, can eat and then get up and go wherever they please and 2-enlisting help is a good thing. Granted, I only have 100 people to worry about, 30 for my mom to seat, 20 for my husband's dad to figure out and 20 for husband's mom to figure out. I was really concerned about husband's family since his folks are divorced. It was easy, they made the seating charts in like 5 minutes and I was able to figure out the rest. There is a lot to think about and stress over, seating charts shouldn't be one of them! 
    ~ES~
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  • Eliz77Eliz77 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    I stressed over the seating chart for llike, a full day, before I decided two things 1-people will be fine wherever you put them, can eat and then get up and go wherever they please and 2-enlisting help is a good thing. Granted, I only have 100 people to worry about, 30 for my mom to seat, 20 for my husband's dad to figure out and 20 for husband's mom to figure out. I was really concerned about husband's family since his folks are divorced. It was easy, they made the seating charts in like 5 minutes and I was able to figure out the rest. There is a lot to think about and stress over, seating charts shouldn't be one of them! 
    ~ES~
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I'm a 3 time MOB and insist on seating charts.  I have no desire to figure out the groom's side of the guest list so I've always made it easy on myself.  "Hey Kids - how do you want your friends seated?"  "MOG - would you be so kind as to tell me how your family would like to be seated?"

    Cut my seating chart time down to peanuts.  I also am not adverse to having less than full tables.  At last DD's wedding our family had a table of 5 and his family had a table of 6 (rather than 8).  I'd rather seat people with other's they know than stick one side of the family with the wierd uncle from the other side.

    It took no time at all this way.
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    H and I did ours.  We asked MIL who she wanted to sit with, but that was the extent of the involvement we allowed her.  I handled my side and did a dry run of his side.  He didn't like his side, so I to told him to fix it then :).
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Whoever is hosting the event makes the seating chart.

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  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    I did ours with my mom (my family had more seating drama than DH's).  I asked MIL and FIL for some feedback on tentative groupings of people before doing any work though.  If you FMIL is working on something, I'd get that from her before you start anything, giving her the provisio you'll try as much as possible to use her groupings but might need to make changes do to your space and table constraints.
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  • mbuckley85mbuckley85 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    Ok...Thank you!  Every time something like this comes up, I think to myself "Okay, maybe I'm crazy and maybe that is her job".  Since my parents are hosting, I will be doing the seating chart with them and FI.  I have already started with the tables for our closest family members.  I, of course, will ask FMIL who she wants at her table and I will let her see the chart at the end.  I do see it going badly with completely dividing sides if I allow her to seat her side and I would like to mix the friends and families up a little, especially with the people that we are not as close to, to ensure that we get full tables.  

    We know our guests, and I'm pretty sure we can put together tables that will mesh well.  I do have to keep in mind that FI and I are the only ones that know everyone from both sides!
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