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Registry and Gift Forum

to register or not to register? a few questions!

My fiance and I are getting married this December, and will be having only a few close friends and family attend, since it will be a destination wedding. I've read so many conflicting things online concerning etiquette for a gift registry- some say it's tacky to register/expect a gift, because already people are paying an arm and a leg to even attend the wedding... And I've also read that, no matter where the wedding takes place, guests are always expected to bring a gift (that was from the great Emily Post!). Also, we're considering an at-home reception after our honeymoon, to which we would invite lots more people. Should we register for that reception?
Final question! My fiance and I are from Georgia, but will be living/going to school in Colorado. So IF we register, and receive gifts at our reception, does anyone have advice for a cost-efficient way to transport all our gifts back to Colorado?

Re: to register or not to register? a few questions!

  • create a small registry.  I gave a gift to my friend whose destination wedding I went to.
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  • I just want to respond to this part:
    Also, we're considering an at-home reception after our honeymoon, to which we would invite lots more people. Should we register for that reception?

    No. 
    If you are going to register, do the registry prior to the wedding.
    Many people consider these "at home receptions" to be a demand for people who didn't get the opportunity / weren't invited to see the ceremony, to bring a killer gift to the couple anyway.  And the ATR provides the time and location for gift drop-off.  I know no one who goes to those anymore, and I know of several girls who were very disappointed that they invited LOTS more people to the ATR and few showed up.
    If you register JUST for the ATR, you are confirming that the ATR is just a gift-collection event.
  • As for transporting, I'm getting married in MA but live in CO. I packed a suitcase full after my shower and my dad is looking into shipping for the rest of the items. I was going to do a return/rebuy but because people get things on sale if the item isn't on sale when you rebuy you will need to pay the difference. I'd check to see if the stores will work with you on this... I was just too busy to check myself. I'm planning to fly Southwest for the wedding.
  • I agree that gifts aren't required if you attend a wedding, especially a destination wedding. We received very few gifts at our wedding, though we did get lots of cash. Quite a lot of old family friends who didn't come to the wedding bought stuff off our registry and had it shipped to us.
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  • Thanks for the advice and ideas! Unfortunately Southwest does not fly to any of the airports near my home in Georgia, and I did some research and it does appear to be the only airline with that kind of baggage allowance. We did have the idea that we could have people ship gifts to our apartment in Colorado- the problem with that, however, is that we will be in Georgia for about a month and a half, during Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's holidays, so no one will be there to receive any packages we might get... So, not sure how that works.

    I'm very torn with this whole at home reception thing... We are actually starting to consider just getting married at home to make it easier on everyone. And in reference to the comment about a "gift-collecting event," we NEED a gift registry- we're starting out our lives, we really don't have much of anything, and we need help, which is the whole idea behind a gift registry anyway.


    Anyway, thanks for the advice, feel free to keep it coming! :)

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