So my boyfriend and I have something of a unique situation. We met, were in a long distance relationship (as in three-thousand miles) for three years, and I moved to go to college with him just under a year ago. Four years in all. He proposed last week, which is a combination of wonderful and terrifying.
Our situation is this. We have two years left of college, and feel it would be more responsible to have the wedding after we graduate. In addition, everyone on my side still lives three thousand miles away, so a lot of the planning will be done long-distance, and will include a lot of flying back and forth, which means more money, which means we need longer to save up... which has led us to a three and a half year engagement.
We know the date we want 100%, since it's a sentimental date for us and seems perfect to have the wedding on, but we have to wait another two years (maybe one and a half) before we can start making solid reservations. (We live in Puerto Rico, a popular place for destination weddings, so you have to start making reservations about two years in adavance if you want the types of venues we're looking at).
I've got things to keep me busy for a while- my fiance and I are traveling back to my home to make a formal announcement with my family and friends, plus we are helping to plan his parent's vow renewal this August. And, of course, college will keep my busy too.
I'm just worried about the idea of a "too-long engagement". This plan seems to work for us, but I'm really nervous that as time passes, it could complicate things. Has anyone else been in a similar situation that can give advice?
Re: Super Long Engagement...
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A long engagement is not unheard of, but mine in 1 1/2 year and already I wish it was sooner.
Good luck! 3 1/2 years is long, but if it's the best situation for the two of you, then I say go for it! Our's is the best situation for us; some people don't agree with it or think we are waiting too long. But it's right for us, and that's all that matters.
[QUOTE but we're ALSO planning a smaller, more intimate "wedding" in Puerto Rico for FI's family since they won't be able to come to Mass. GL with planning!! (o:
Posted by jenandcris[/QUOTE]
Fun!! I actually live and study in Puerto Rico with my FI; I love it here, it's a beautiful island, PERFECT for weddings. You'll love it!
Thank you all so much for your encouragement; I'm glad I'm not the only one faced with a long engagement, and it's nice to hear some people tell me I'm doing the right thing- even if we know what's right for us, it's nice to have unbiased verification from others. I was especially happy to hear from those doing DIY weddings- I'm planning on doing that as well, and I'm hoping the long engagement will help with that. Thanks again, this actually made me feel a lot better.
And ... "meh" on the timeline issue
That is b/c we'll have been engaged for over 3 years when we tie the knot and have been together for 5 1/2 years!
It worked out that way for us for several good reasons, and I don't regret it nor am I embarressed by it. It's great to be with someone long enough to totally understand the meaning of the day and commitment...good luck, God bless and relax honey b/c you're doing it right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cheers
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I would also try to combine some of those trips to save on airfare. Do you REALLY need to fly back and forth? I'm planning a destination wedding and was able to take care of everything via internet & email and then we made 1 whirlwind Weddingpalooza trip down to our location for 4 days to meet with our top vendor contendors and sign contracts. We won't be going back until a few days before the wedding. IMO there's really no NEED to fly down there more than once to plan your wedding. Save that $$, girl!