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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Advice on Plus 1's
Happy Memorial Day All.
I know many of you have already gone through the sending of invites for your weddings and I would love your input here.
We would invite evryone if money was no object (actually, maybe not). When we put together our invite list we only invited our single friends with a guest if they were in a long term relationship.
One of our friends has been single for a while. He was single when we sent out our save the dates and had only just started dating his new girlfriend. While we would have loved to be able to invite him with a plus one we didn't because we just didn't have the room.
He had asked me to help her get ready for a themed party they were attending. I had her over and helped her with hair and makeup. She mentioned that she was buying a new dress for our wedding and that our friend had just invited her as his date that night.
I think I said something along he lines "Oh, really? That's so sweet". I never thought I would hope some ppl couldn't make it to the wedding but we really don't have the space and can't afford any other guests than the ones we invited. I'm going to figure out how to get this girl in there because I was caught off guard and I don't want to offend her or him.
How should I handle this moving forward? I want to have it down before anyone else plus 1's.
Please advise.
I know many of you have already gone through the sending of invites for your weddings and I would love your input here.
We would invite evryone if money was no object (actually, maybe not). When we put together our invite list we only invited our single friends with a guest if they were in a long term relationship.
One of our friends has been single for a while. He was single when we sent out our save the dates and had only just started dating his new girlfriend. While we would have loved to be able to invite him with a plus one we didn't because we just didn't have the room.
He had asked me to help her get ready for a themed party they were attending. I had her over and helped her with hair and makeup. She mentioned that she was buying a new dress for our wedding and that our friend had just invited her as his date that night.
I think I said something along he lines "Oh, really? That's so sweet". I never thought I would hope some ppl couldn't make it to the wedding but we really don't have the space and can't afford any other guests than the ones we invited. I'm going to figure out how to get this girl in there because I was caught off guard and I don't want to offend her or him.
How should I handle this moving forward? I want to have it down before anyone else plus 1's.
Please advise.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Advice on Plus 1's
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
I just wanted to say the right thing to anyone else moving forward.
I keep thinking, well it's July- ppl vacation then or are busy, etc.
Thanks for the input.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]Yeah, this is a very common situation around the boards. I bet he just didn't know that he was being rude by asking her without her being officially invited. He's a single guy; <strong>most single guys probably don't know proper etiquette in these situations</strong>.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]
I shrudder at the thought of things that would or would not be planned if FI did any of the planning for our wedding on his own.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Advice on Plus 1's : I shrudder at the thought of things that would or would not be planned if FI did any of the planning for our wedding on his own.
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]
I know, right? I know that being a guy isn't an excuse for poor etiquette but in general, they can really be in the dark on a lot of things.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]Thanks Mrs. B your belly picture is adorable! Pregnant Belly's in Polka Dots is what dreams are made of. GL to you too :)
Posted by AliandDan2010[/QUOTE]
Thanks!
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]Ha! Kelly that's funny- I remember the day my FFIL told me he didn't understand why it would take a whole year to plan a wedding, he felt it should be a day or 2 max.
Posted by AliandDan2010[/QUOTE]
i actually dont get why anyone needs a year either..... i did mine in about 3 months, which still left 4 months to twiddle my thumbs.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Advice on Plus 1's : i actually dont get why anyone needs a year either..... i did mine in about 3 months, which still left 4 months to twiddle my thumbs.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
We went a year out to save some money.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Advice on Plus 1's : i actually dont get why anyone needs a year either..... i did mine in about 3 months, which still left 4 months to twiddle my thumbs.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
<div>I think it depends on where your venue is and how much in demand it is, as well as how popular the season you are getting married in is. When I was looking for a venue with over 12 months to the wedding, most of the Saturdays in August were already booked! Maybe it is a self-propagating thing, like everyone THINKS they need a year to plan, so they get their venue booked a year ahead of time, which means if you want to get your venue, you need to book a year ahead of time... and so on.</div>
[QUOTE]He was single at the time of STDs. Your wedding is at the end of July so have you sent the official invites yet? If not, I'd include her on the invite because he's in a relationship now, you've spent some time with and seem to like her, and you had the opportunity to clear up the confusion during a conversation and didn't take it. If invites have gone out and he's extended the invitaiton to her, yes it's rude on his part but will one guest really hurt your budget?
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This. If someone is dating at the time INVITATIONS go out, they should be invited. If someone starts dating someone 2 weeks before your wedding, tough cookies. But STDs can go out 6-12 months in advance- plenty of time for someone to start a new relationship, and you should accommodate those scenarios in your final guest list.
</div><div>Hopefully, if anyone else does this, they'll RSVP for two, so you'll have the opportunity to call and explain that the invitation was just for them.</div>
40/112
I planned my wedding in 10 days but M took 15 months.
go figure
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Advice on Plus 1's : i actually dont get why anyone needs a year either..... i did mine in about 3 months, which still left 4 months to twiddle my thumbs.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
<div>Agreed. My wedding's July 10th. I have no flowers, dress, music... eh. It's going to be terrific either way.</div><div>
</div><div>I also hand-addressed my 200 invitations, which I thought was fun and easy.</div><div>
</div><div>Not typical... but every wedding's different!</div>