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Hiya ladies! (sorry so long)

luvdncn90luvdncn90 member
100 Comments
in Not Engaged Yet
How have you all been?! I haven't been around for sometime, there's been a lot going on lately and it's crazy.  M graduated from college this past weekend as did my brother. I'm so very proud of both of them, but with the good comes a sad.
 
M and I have broken up. It was my choice and altough I am sad, I feel content with my choice. Lately I have been feeling like I have been trying very hard to be someone that I am not. M and I have very different views and opinions on a lot of things and while normally this wasn't a problem, we found ourselves butting heads contanstly about certain things. And they weren't just fights but all out relationship breaking fights. Although we tried compromosing it felt like both of us were so unwilling to change our opinions and views and it was causing a huge strain on our relationship because he expected me to compromise and change how I felt while unwilling to do the same and vice versa.

I decided I wanted to really focus on myself and figure out exaclty what I want to do with my life and what I want. We are both still so young and have a lot of growing up and maturing to do. It was very hard because it wasn't a mutual choice, so he is very hurt and upset. I actually found out after we broke up that he had bought an engagement ring and was planning on proposing the next time we saw each other, and of course that hurt to hear but I would rather make this decision now then agree to marry him and realize this isn't what I want when it's to late.

I don't know what will happen with us and although I hate to see him hurt I know in my heart that I made the right choice. I believe that if it's meant to be it will be. M has been a huge part of my life and it sucks losing my best friend but I had been feeling unhappy for a while.

So yeah enough about my depressing news. I just wanted to let you ladies know what is up with my life and why I haven't been around lately and that I've missed you all! I still pop in every once in a while to see what's going on but have felt weird posting without telling you all.

I hope that everyone is doing well and enjoying the start of summer! It just snowed here yesterday. Happy summer to us!  haha


ETA: This is a post and run because I am spending some quality girl time with my best friend to get my mind off of things but I will be back!
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Re: Hiya ladies! (sorry so long)

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry to hear that.  What matters most is your happiness though, and most girls wouldn't have done what you did.  You will find someone amazing, as will he. 

    Still stick around though, you are an awesome person!
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  • loves2shop4shoesloves2shop4shoes member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry honey!  If it makes a difference, I think you made the right choice.  You should never have to change who you are for someone.  And if you're having repeated "relationship-breaking" fights, that's really not good.

    The "right" relationship will empower you and allow you to be yourself.  With my ex, for example, I always felt like I had to be the best version of myself.  I always felt like I had to look perfect, dress perfect, act perfect, etc., but with FI, I can be a mess.  I can not wear makeup.  I can wear sweats.  I can wear HIS sweats.  I can make mistakes.  I can gain weight.  I can lose weight.  I can be MYSELF...and FI loves me the same, no matter what.

    And that's how it should be.

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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Oh dear :( I'm sorry to hear that. We are all here for you, any time you feel like you need to vent or just talk. I'm sure this is hard but it's good that you are doing what is best for you! **HUGS**


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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I also think you did the right thing. It's so much better to do this now than a few years down the road when you're married. An engagement ring doesn't make the issues you were having magically disappear. I know it must have been such a hard thing to do. It takes a lot of courage. But it sounds like you have some support there with you, and here on the board! Please keep us updated! You don't have to be in a relationship to be on the board!


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  • becunning2becunning2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I"m sorry you've had such a rough time. I agree that it takes a lot of courage to face the realization that just because you love someone does not mean that you can be in a successful relationship with that person. It sounds like you did what was right for you--now make sure to take care of yourself during this period too!
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  • cu97tigercu97tiger member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Luv - Ditto what all the OP's said. You did the right thing for you, which SO MANY people don't do. Give yourself some kudos (and maybe eat a couple Kudos?). And know that we're here for you. *Hugs*
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    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Big hug to you! I'm so proud of you for being so honest with yourself and M, and making such a mature decision.

    Please stick around! You're a contributing poster and we'll miss you! But take some time off if you feel you need that as well.
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  • luvdncn90luvdncn90 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for all the support ladies! I greatly appreciate. The hardest part was knowing how badly it hurt him but I knew it was the right choice and in the end I'm glad I made the decision.
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  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm going to just agree with what everyone else has already said.

    We love you and send lots of hugs your way.  And please do stick around.  I'd miss you too much if you left us <3
    I french with my man
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  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I am sorry that it wasn't working out, but I think you made the right choice.  You don't want to wake up 3 years from now married and realize you married the wrong guy.  I know he is hurting but I think you did the right thing.  We are here for you! *hugs*
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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  • SKP82SKP82 member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Aw, Luv, I'm sorry to hear this, but I'm glad you were able to make the decision that was right for you.

    We're here if you need us.  *Hugs*
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
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  • alanna91alanna91 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    "I feel content with my choice"

    Honestly, I think that's the best way you could describe something like that. If you were happy it could mean things were so bad you couldn't wait to get out. If you were upset it could mean you made the wrong decesion.
    It also really sounds like you did this for the right reason, which is for yourself.

    Just stay happy and focusing on you :)
    White Knot
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