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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Would you be mad if someone wore this?

My BIL (DH's bro) is getting married this May. BIL and his FI asked me if I would carry their son (he'll be 9 months old on their wedding day) down the aisle and hold him during the ceremony. BP is wearing a dark purple, junior BM and GM will be wearing pewter. I found this dress at JCPenneys and wondered if it has too much white on it. I've asked the bride and she said she thought it was pretty and that I shoudl wear it, but she's also too nice and probably wouldn't say it bothered her if it did. I know I'm probably overthinking it, but since I'll actually be walking down the aisle with people looking at me, I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to take anythink away from the bride. What do you think? Too much white or is it ok? TIA
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Re: Would you be mad if someone wore this?

  • I think thats a very cute dress.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited February 2010
    I'm sorry but you are overthinking this.


    ETA - to me this ia BLACK dress with some white.  Not a WHITE dress with some black.






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  • It's a pretty dress . . . .wear it!  And yes, you are overthinking this. 
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  • I think a patterned dress on a white background is fine for a wedding. It's obviously not a bridal gown. I wore this to my brother's wedding:




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  • You ladies rock. I knew I was probably overthinking this. I guess I've lurked so long and read so many beebee posts about brides being pissed about someone's clothes... I just don't want to piss off BIL's FI because she's the only one who knows where I'm coming from when it comes to dealing with the in-laws! I'm going to wear the dress. Thanks!
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  • I like it! Also, St. Louis rocks.
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  • THere's white in that dress? Tongue out
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  • I think thats perfectly fine.   Thats not a white dress, thats a black one. 

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  • That's not a white dress! It's a dress that happens to have a little bit of white in it.

    It does look pretty casual though, but I guess it depends on how formal the wedding is. Also have you asked her if she wants you to wear the "wedding colors"? I guess I would assume that you'd be in the same colors as the rest of the bridal party since you're walking down the aisle, so that would be my only question.
  • If the bride says it's fine, then go with it.

    I agree with pp that the formality will probably matter more than the colors.
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  • I would be FURIOUS!!! The nerve.
  • I don't think it is ridiculous to care about being appropriate at a wedding! That said, I think the dress is fine. And I like your dog (I want one!).
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  • JHS16 - It's on sale right now for $69.99. They have a couple more similar dresses on the bottom of the page too. http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/X5.aspx?DeptID=50434&catid=64185&cmAMS_T=X4&cmAMS_C=C2&ViewMore=True&CmCatId=50434|50452|64179

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  • Very cute dress. As a bride I would not be offended at all. If you wore a floor length solid white gown we would have issues. As long as the wedding isnt a black tie formal affair I think youre fine.
  • I dont think you are over thinking it because I am the same way and i appreicate that in other people especially with my own wedding coming up. It's cute....and I'm sure you look great in it! wear it!
  • I would probably be agonizing over this as much as you are lol.  Honestly, it's probably fine.  But I don't think I'd wear it just in case.  You don't want to feel uncomfortable while standing at the alter for your BIL's big day, worrying whether or not it's too much, so I'd consider finding a different dress.
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  • I think the dress is super cute! 
    I would definitely wear it to a wedding and I do think that you are overthinking things.  As a bride to be I appreciate the fact that you even asked though because some people can be really insenstive.

    Cute dress, definitely rock it!!
  • I wear black and white dresses to weddings all the time.  I think it looks great.
  • I honestly think it is a nice dress don't worry about the white in it. My soon to be sister in law is wearing a tuxedo dress from macy's to my wedding in May. and it has more white than what is on yours. As long as it isn't all white I don't see what it should matter.
  • Just highlight the black. Black hair accessories, shoes, bag, ect... It will look fine
  • I like the dress, it's very cute, but I would not wear it to a wedding. This is probably personaly preference, but I think that white and black and two colors that do NOT belong at weddings. White for the obvious reason, but black because it makes it look like a funeral. And I've been to a wedding where the grooms entire side of the wedding was against the marriage, and so in protest they all wore black and it was horrible.
  • no way would i be offended!  it goes with the colors the bride has picked out, plus the white is only a small portion of the pattern.  i don't look at that dress and go "that's a white dress" - i think "it's a black dress with some purple and white patterns on it".  plus you already have the brides blessing.  wear it and be pretty!
  • Very cute and appropriate dress. It is sweet that you are so concerned.   It shows how much you care for them.

    ps. I live in St. louis too! haha
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  • da dress doesnt have 2 much white at all, but y r u not goin 2 coordinate wit da rest of da wedding? even if ur not part of da bridal party u will b walking down da aisle aand being seen, if it was my wedding i would ask u2 coordinate.
  • Great dress. A super model can come to my wedding and wear a long all white number for all I care. I still know it's our wedding day.

    Besides, this is a mostly *black* dress!
  • I don't see anything wrong with the dress.  I've worn something not too far off to weddings and no one even seemed to notice.
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  • Not that you need one more piece of advice, but I believe the general consensus here is correct.

    First, if the bride gave you the go-ahead, that's all that matters. If it bothers her she should speak up.  In fact she's done the opposite and said the dress is fine. If you're still stressed, you could talk with her once again based on the advice you've received here, and just make double sure she's cool with it.

    Second, those colors do match enough to blend with the bridal party, and the white is not the first color you notice. It's a cute dress. If it were my wedding, I would want you to have a solid color that matched the bridal party. However, if the bride has not asked that of you, then she must not care. If blending and not matching precisely works for her, then again you're good to go.

    Third, it's awesome that you are considerate about the BIL's and his bride-to-be's big day. You are not a mind reader though. It's her big day, and she should tell you if she has a vision. If she doesn't, then just use your own judgement and walk confidently as you hold that baby in your cute dress.
  • If you have to ask if it is okay then... NO, it is not okay to wear a dress like that.  The dress is very busy anyway.  If you want to wear a spring dress, then find another spring dress with muted colors or at the very least a color that is within the same color scheme of the wedding party.  Geesh.

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  • Cute dress!  I don't think it's too much white at all.  And you gave the bride the opportunity to say if it bothered her, so you're in the clear there. 
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  • not at all....it is NOT mostly white. cute party dress!
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