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Speeches at Reception

doglover2014doglover2014 member
Fifth Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hey everyone!

So my wedding is just over a month away...and I am wondering if we have to ask certain people to do speeches, or is it kind of like a free-for-all?? I know some people are really not good with public speaking (ie. FI's sisters who are my bridesmaids, and FI's father). How do I go about this? Do I just leave it?

Thanks!
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Re: Speeches at Reception

  • MyUserName1MyUserName1 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I'd talk to people ahead of time.

    FI's sisters were my bridesmaids and they decided they didn't want to make a toast and we didn't know it until during the reception.  It was super awkward.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would talk to the potential speech givers before hand.  My sister was my MOH and from the moment I asked her to be in the wedding she was adamant that she didn't want to give a toast.  My H's BM on the other hand always said he would say something but when the time came he chickend out.  Both were no big deal and the night went on without anyone even realizing that speeches weren't made.

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  • adamar15adamar15 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments
    Muni, H's brother KNEW he didn't want to make a speech and H still ended up getting put on the spot.  Luckily one of the other groomsmen stepped in, but it was really awkward.  I was pretty annoyed for H.
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  • MyUserName1MyUserName1 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    That's crap, Adamar. 

    No one said anything to them or put them on the spot, it was just the BM did his speech and they just sat there eating and everyone was gossiping about how crappy it was that they didn't say anything.
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  • shanliannshanliann member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    Pick the best "speaker" and talk to them ahead of time, usually if one person knows and is prepared to give a speech they get the ball rolling and other will automatically follow!

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  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I know I'm late on this, but I do recommend having your people thought out ahead of time. They opened speeches up after the FOB, Groom, and BM at a wedding I was at this weekend. None of the bride's friends were giving speeches, so I (who have known the bride forever) ended up giving one. I'm not shy, but, of course, I ended up tearing up (happy tears) and felt bad because I felt like it was silly. I wish I'd known her MOH wasn't giving a speech because I would have actually prepared myself a little better. They were both fine with whomever wanted to talk talking, but it kind of drug out towards the end because everyone felt like they should say something. Of course right after I sat down I thought of much better things to say. It still went reasonably well overall, no embarrassments or inappropriate things were said by anyone. I think when you open it up it can get a little long. 
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