Open Letters

kjv2013 · August 2012

Dear Blue
I appreciate that your still here even though everyone took off.

Dear Dog,
i love you, but I would like to have one day where your not trying to sneak into the garbage. pasta sauce all over your face is a dead giveaway and completly disgusting. No, I dont want to snuggle your crusty red little face.

you go.

katiewhompus · August 2012

Dear Dr,

You were not helpful today. I may not have a medical degree, but I fail to see how extreme dry mouth, fatigue, and migraines that crop up overnight can be attributed to stress, when the patient is not stressed (or at least, does not think he is). Your diagnosis of stress, with a prescription of anti-anxiety meds (which, btw, cause dry mouth, fatigue, and migraines per the side effect description) has me a bit doubtful.

chelseamb11 · August 2012

Dear company that H is visiting all day,
Please offer him a job by the end of the week. This offer is literally the last piece of the puzzle for everything to fall into place perfectly.

Love,
Don't want to commute 60 miles each way every day.

Jlp818 · August 2012

Dear Boss,
   This silent office "rule" sucks. I understand you enjoy quiet.... shut your office door.
Also... yes I am wearing long pants and a sweater and it is 87 out. You have the AC set to 65 in the office!
   Sincerely,
    Frozen and antsy employee.

cnf2013 · August 2012

Dear Time Warner Cable,

You did not call or show up to my house last night like I was told you would and I spent all night waiting around for you. Fixing our lines from the pole was not what we asked for. Please come to our house and fix the lines at our house. Also, your tech who claimed it was the utility lines is super stupid. NYSEG moved those last week. Boom. Because you chose not to do as you were told, have fun coming back tomorrow to fix the work you did incorrectly yesterday.

Dear office chair,

I followed the picture directions on the handle lever to adjust your height but they don't work (or I'm really stupid). Workdamnyou! My shoulders hurt from sitting too low to use my computer.

mmmendi · August 2012

Dear leg,

I fail to see why you were perfectly fine YESTERDAY and today are so grossly infected I know I have to see a doctor before I go home. BAH.

Dear posters,

I'm glad for anyone still posting.

sarabear23 · August 2012

Dear KW

I love your sig pic. That's one cute baby!

Dear California

PLEASE stop being over 100* every day. I can't take this heat and neither can my garden or bunnies!

button6004 · August 2012

Dear Boss:

I know you are trying to make us all work together, but making me the poster child of your relocation plan sucks balls.

Dear Cheyenne:

Please feel better soon. I want you to stop having stress-induced tummy problems and gain some weight.

rsanna · August 2012

Dear Coworker:

I get that you are too thick to realize that I go start the dishwasher every night at like 7:02 and so you forget to ask me to bring your spoon downstairs with me. But you opened this morning. Put on your big girl panties and walk downstairs with your nasty, dirty spoon and put it in the sink or dishwasher. I'm not cleaning up after you.

adawn1981 · August 2012

Dear work, You are lucky I need money, otherwise I would quit today. Dear FI, Stop snoring all night, I really need to get some sleep for once. Dear SB, I have been craving cake since last nights cake post. Damn you!

adawn1981 · August 2012

Sorry, I did use parahraphs. Dear phone, stop posting my paragraphs all together in one!

kikirst33 · August 2012

Dear President of the Creative team,

If you insist that you have to review EVERYTHING then I need you to be able to turn around reviews in a timely manner. I have been waiting for a week for a review of a one-page piece. If you can't commit to timely reviews I can't provide schedules to my clients.

Dear Me,

You need to decide what you want to be when you "grow up". It doesnt' matter that you're almost 43, just figure it the hell out.

mmmendi · August 2012

ADawn - snoring sucks. FI does, and it bothers me half the time. Sometimes it is loud, and others it is this weird vibrate the bed thing! I love my earplugs, but they hurt my ears to wear too often

Elle1036 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:84f1ed3a-9637-44d9-b423-50783cf8d9d4Post:d23cc5c8-5744-41a2-b98f-5a366bb71389">Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Blue I appreciate that your still here even though everyone took off. Dear Dog, i love you, but I would like to have one day where your not trying to sneak into the garbage. <strong>pasta sauce all over your face is a dead giveaway and completly disgusting. No, I dont want to snuggle your crusty red little face</strong>. you go.
Posted by kjv2013[/QUOTE]

This made me giggle. Gotta love dogs.

coopsbaby · August 2012

Dear construction workers

Please hurry up and finish my street so I don't have a dusty house much longer. I'm getting stabby. And please finish my sidewalk so the kids stop tracking in muc.

Dear fi

Finish sorting through those boxes of crap in my living room from when you moved in 6 months ago. We really don't need to save 5 year old phone bills.

coopsbaby · August 2012

Got another one!

Dear TK

I'm happy that you finally decided to put my location on my posts, but I don't live in Milwaukee, so thanks for nothing. Got the state right at least, but nowhere NEAR Milwaukee.

Girlie1030 · August 2012

Dear stomach,

WTH is wrong with you? Is an alien about to bust out of you or are you just being a jerk?

Painfully,
Me

Dear Deli,

Please see above letter. Did you do this?

Regards,
Potentially a former customer

PS - What did you do with my favorite counter girl?

Dear Coops,

TK doesn't care about geography. It had me in Tucson until I changed my zip code to the one from work instead of home.

Girlie

adawn1981 · August 2012

Dear Weather, Stop being such a tease. Its overcast and windy. Just rain already. You have put us through enough being 115 for the last 3 days.

QueerFemme · August 2012

Dear list of wedding shiiittt to do.
Can you please get shorter?

Dear Bay Area weather.
Please don't f.u.c.k. with me, mmmmk?

Dear wedding
I wasn't stressed last week... now, I'm freaking out. Please go smoothly.

thanks

NcsuPsych · August 2012

Dear Dog,

Is the Basset 700 really necessary every night? It's hilarious yes, but once you start knocking over chairs, we have a problem. You see, your bigger brother is not short, and apparently is not smart enough to go around the chairs.

Also, to the Cats,
My flowers are not toys. They're placed up high so that you can't get them and don't damage them. Please stop stealing them and their petals.

Thanks,
Your human parent

Dear Douchenozzles that parked at the end up our street,

I get that you're probably teenages filled with raging hormones, but for Gods sake, please clean up after yourselfs instead of throwing things out the windows and leaving them there for our dogs to find (thank God their not stupid enough to eat said things).

Thanks,
The lady that had the cops on your ass last night. You're welcome

azdancer8 · August 2012

Dear podiatry customers,
Why do you get a pedicure before you come see us? We can't see if something is wrong with your toenails when you have them covered in polish!

Dear H and Papa,
Just talk to each other already! Or yell, or cry, or whatever. But deal with your communication issues with *each other*. Stop putting me and Nana in the middle.

Dear new house,
You are costing me a lot of money, but I am so excited to see you have some walls now! I'm working on finding you windows, so be on the lookout for good deals, ok?

NcsuPsych · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:84f1ed3a-9637-44d9-b423-50783cf8d9d4Post:f00af7ba-0ab6-4e39-9c66-bf044192a193">Re: Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE] Dear new house, You are costing me a lot of money, but I am so excited to see you have some walls now! I'm working on finding you windows, so be on the lookout for good deals, ok?
Posted by azdancer8[/QUOTE]

I LOVED it when we closed on our house. We were both really excited and then once we moved all that we had in here. . I was like $hit, now we have to buy furniture!
Congrats on your house!

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