Question for Catholics

Jack2012 · January 2012

Good Morning!

So, I will be converting to Catholic for our wedding, it means a lot to FI family since they are all VERY Catholic and want the ceremony to be at the church he grew up in. Not a big deal to me. I guess I'm just nervous about all the classes and such since he doesnt really know what to tell me to expect. So.. if any of you lovely ladies have some advice/knowledge/tips/pointers.. I'd REALLY appreciate it.

tldh · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_question-catholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:a012a9fa-d8eb-4aab-a264-22d359ad634fPost:84f46e70-822f-4055-a949-51b1e32e096e">Question for Catholics</a>:
[QUOTE]Good Morning! So, I will be converting to Catholic for our wedding, it means a lot to FI family since they are all VERY Catholic and want the ceremony to be at the church he grew up in. Not a big deal to me. I guess I'm just nervous about all the classes and such since he doesnt really know what to tell me to expect. So.. if any of you lovely ladies have some advice/knowledge/tips/pointers.. I'd REALLY appreciate it.
Posted by Jack2012[/QUOTE]

This part troubles me. You should be converting because you feel a calling for the Catholic faith, not because your FILs want you to convert.

You don't have to convert in order to marry in the church. Your FI is already Catholic. All you would have to do is agree to raise your children in the Catholic faith, which it sounds like you are okay with.

There is a Catholic board here under Cultural Weddings.

bakerie · January 2012

I agree with PP. You should be converting to Catholicism because you feel strongly about it, not just to please other people. To answer your question though, I recently went through RCIA and found it to be a great experience. I imagine it differs for every church, but our classes were mostly learning about some of the history of Catholicism, the meanings of different parts of the mass, things like that. We would also read passages out of the bible and discuss our interpretation and feelings on them. It was really a very good time and I loved it.

redheadfsu · January 2012

You two can get married in his Church without you converting. (Only one person has to be Catholic to get married in the Church). Please don't convert, unless you really really want to (which it doesn't sound like).

Jack2012 · January 2012

Hmm.. good to know, they have made it sound like it might be a big deal if I don't

monkeysip · January 2012

Ditto pps. Don't convert just for him, his family, or the wedding.

You might want to join RCIA just to learn more. Just because you join RCIA doesn't mean you have to convert, but it would give you an opportunity to learn more about your future husbands' faith and see whether you want to convert or not.

jkoronki2 · January 2012

I agree with everyone but the stipulation is that you need to belong to your own church, parish, tenple, or whatever. if you dont, then you need to convert. i went through all the trouble with my fiance. He didnt have any religion that he belonged to and therefore he had to do it for us to get married in a church. 7 churches told me the same thing. the classes are not horrible. you sit down and talk about nothing for 1 hour once a week and then the night before easter you get your sacraments done.

You can get married at an Episcopal church and it will be recognized by the catholic curch and you dont have to do all the pre cana stuff and focus questions.

the only time it does not matter if you not catholic is when you are having a christening. then you need one of the godparents to be Catholic and you have to sign a paper saying that you are going to raise your children Catholic.

Trust me i did a lot of research on this. I even went as far as calling the Diocese of Rockville Center.

redheadfsu · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_question-catholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:a012a9fa-d8eb-4aab-a264-22d359ad634fPost:791ad4ec-d0f3-4143-995b-c346f9f88ea6">Re: Question for Catholics</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with everyone but the stipulation is that you need to belong to your own church, parish, tenple, or whatever. if you dont, then you need to convert. i went through all the trouble with my fiance. He didnt have any religion that he belonged to and therefore he had to do it for us to get married in a church. 7 churches told me the same thing. the classes are not horrible. you sit down and talk about nothing for 1 hour once a week and then the night before easter you get your sacraments done. You can get married at an Episcopal church and it will be recognized by the catholic curch and you dont have to do all the pre cana stuff and focus questions. the only time it does not matter if you not catholic is when you are having a christening. then you need one of the godparents to be Catholic and you have to sign a paper saying that you are going to raise your children Catholic. Trust me i did a lot of research on this. I even went as far as calling the Diocese of Rockville Center.
Posted by jkoronki2[/QUOTE]

I don't think this is true. Instead both just need to be baptized. (however one can attempt to get a dispensation; however it is only a natural marriage)

monkeysip · January 2012

Yeah, a Catholic can marry an atheist or anyone else that doesn't have a religion. They need a dispensation to marry any unbaptized person, but this is really just a formality. You just fill out a form, and it is sent to the bishop. I've never heard of it being refused... unless there were some other circumstances that prevented the two people being married.

Really, I find jkoronki's advice kinda offensive. I mean, receiving the sacraments is an extremely serious and sacred thing, so to act so casually about it and do it just for a wedding really bothers me.

And no, you cannot just married at an episcopal church. It will not be recognized by the Catholic Church without a convalidation.

tldh · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_question-catholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:a012a9fa-d8eb-4aab-a264-22d359ad634fPost:791ad4ec-d0f3-4143-995b-c346f9f88ea6">Re: Question for Catholics</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with everyone but the stipulation is that you need to belong to your own church, parish, tenple, or whatever. if you dont, then you need to convert. i went through all the trouble with my fiance. He didnt have any religion that he belonged to and therefore he had to do it for us to get married in a church. 7 churches told me the same thing. the classes are not horrible. you sit down and talk about nothing for 1 hour once a week and then the night before easter you get your sacraments done. You can get married at an Episcopal church and it will be recognized by the catholic curch and you dont have to do all the pre cana stuff and focus questions. the only time it does not matter if you not catholic is when you are having a christening. then you need one of the godparents to be Catholic and you have to sign a paper saying that you are going to raise your children Catholic. Trust me i did a lot of research on this. I even went as far as calling the Diocese of Rockville Center.
Posted by jkoronki2[/QUOTE]

There is just so much wrong information here.

Chobot · January 2012

My FI converted for me last Easter. He was half Jewish/Irish catholic already, but was bar mitzvahed. (sp?) We had a really kind deacon who helped us with the process and basically it was attending mass regularly,(we have busy schedules, but we try to go 2-3 times a month) before Easter, we went 3 months straight. You have to learn about the sacraments, Eucharist, and the other practices about Catholicism Pre-cana is going to be a one on one session with him about the ...I don't know. I guess the hard questions that need to be answered before you get married.

There are a lot of things you will do for your FI and vice versa. It was a non negotiable that my FI convert before we get married and he did that for me. That really sealed the deal with my parents. It might be appease his family, but you might find something truly enlightening through the process and if it makes you a better person in the end, who cares what the intent was?

ootmother2 · January 2012

What your FILS want doesn't count here. What YOU believe in and only you can make that decision. Sure, it's nice if you & FI can be the same religion but it doesn't mean you can't marry in a Catholic church and keep your own religion.

Maybe in the time between now and your wedding, you could look into RICA or do some research on your own. I'm not saying it's the wrong religion for you, it's just that the choice is yours, not theirs.

If you want to convert, fine. You can do it before or after your wedding. Be very sure of what you want before making a decision like this.

Good luck!

Hilraythebride · January 2012

I am not Catholic and my fiancee is, you just need to be a baptized Christian or get a dispensation as mentioned above. I do not think you should convert for the sole purpose of the wedding, sure it may make people feel uncomfortable if you are having a mass and cannote recieve comunion. We went to an Engaged Encounter weekend and I felt uncomfortable at first because I could not recieve communion but seriously in the end don't convert to avoid a few minutes of being uncomfortable! Converting is a lifetime commitment and should not be taken lightly!!! Do it on your own accord for your own reasons and you will be a better person and respect yourself more for it rather than letting his family push you around!!! If you allow them to push you into such a serious thing, imagine what will come up in the future!

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