Waiting to Ask Making Friends Antsy

lalap69 · March 2010

So on Saturday my school had its formal. I went to a hair salon with a couple of my friends to get our hair done for it together, and the lovely ladies at the hair salon were under the mistaken impression that we were part of a wedding party.

They kept trying to get us to coordinate our hair. *sigh* It really is everywhere.

Later on that night, after having a couple of drinks, one of my friends told me that apparently all of my friends have been talking behind my back, trying to figure out who I'm going to ask to be my bridesmaids. I got the impression that she was trying to subtly ask if she was going to be.

I laughed and said "oh the wedding is sooo far away, I'm not even worrying about that right now" and then bean dipped her. :P

I don't know how well I would have handled that without these boards. Thanks, ladies!

brimcleod · March 2010

That's got to be annoying. I didn't have that problem, but I knew who I wanted as soon as I got engaged, so it wasn't a tough decision.
It seems a bit immature to me if they're being whiney and trying to find out who you're picking.

lalap69 · March 2010

lol I love that: "I look good in green!"

There's only been one situation which I didn't even have a clue how to handle. It was shortly after we got engaged and my parents threw a small engagement party at the house for close family as well as my best friend.

I'm talking to my friend and my mom comes over and starts gushing, asking my friend what colours she looks good in and how she feels about being a bridesmaid. I just stood there with my jaw on the ground because I had TOLD my mom I wasn't going to ask anyone for a while.

Me: "Mom, I haven't asked anyone yet!"
Mom: "Psh, of course you're going to ask her."
Friend: *silent*

Not sure how you ladies would have handled that one, but I try to pretend it didn't happen. Of course I *am* going to ask her, but I want to, you know, actually ASK!

lalap69 · March 2010

Brimcleod - the issue is that these are my school friends and I'm part of a really tight circle of girls. I don't know if they're necessarily whining about being asked, probably more trying to figure out if I'm planning on it, since it's a tight group. The way I see it right now I can ask none, one, or all, but anything in between would probably REALLY hurt feelings.

To be fair, no one had said anything to me before and my friend had had a couple of drinks or else I'm sure she would have kept it to herself too.

bablingbrooke · March 2010

BM 1 recently got engaged and the first thing I said to her was "I look good in green!" We had a good laugh.

As for your sticky situation, I would just tell mom "I haven't asked anyone yet so please don't say anything for awhile. I want to wait until we're a little closer to the wedding." Thankfully she was saying it to someone you're going to ask anyway.

lalap69 · March 2010

That's so cute

Yeah, I had told her that before, but clearly she'd forgotten. I talked to her again afterward, but couldn't get her to see what the issue was. Oh well, like you said, at least it was someone I was planning on asking anyway.

I suppose if that's the only bump I encounter in the planning process I can consider myself lucky!

emilykathleen511 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-ask-making-friends-antsy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c2f7f0ba-fce5-420e-93e6-b0194259d648Post:d024b5b3-3154-4c60-a8e1-ca316e5ea6d3">Waiting to Ask Making Friends Antsy</a>:
[QUOTE]So on Saturday my school had its formal. I went to a hair salon with a couple of my friends to get our hair done for it together, and the lovely ladies at the hair salon were under the mistaken impression that we were part of a wedding party. They kept trying to get us to coordinate our hair. *sigh* It really is everywhere. Later on that night, after having a couple of drinks, one of my friends told me that apparently all of my friends have been talking behind my back, trying to figure out who I'm going to ask to be my bridesmaids. I got the impression that she was trying to subtly ask if she was going to be. I laughed and said "oh the wedding is sooo far away, I'm not even worrying about that right now" and then bean dipped her. :P I don't know how well I would have handled that without these boards. Thanks, ladies! <3
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ha! Bean Dip to the rescue!!!
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '03c98259-fe9d-419a-83e7-b260fc2c1905', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/3/03c98259-fe9d-419a-83e7-b260fc2c1905.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

</div>

sucrets4 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-ask-making-friends-antsy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c2f7f0ba-fce5-420e-93e6-b0194259d648Post:9155ba70-801c-4164-8ca1-bbc3690cfccf">Re: Waiting to Ask Making Friends Antsy</a>:
[QUOTE]Brimcleod - the issue is that these are my school friends and I'm part of a really tight circle of girls. I don't know if they're necessarily whining about being asked, probably more trying to figure out if I'm planning on it, since it's a tight group. The way I see it right now I can ask none, one, or all, but anything in between would probably REALLY hurt feelings. To be fair, no one had said anything to me before and my friend had had a couple of drinks or else I'm sure she would have kept it to herself too.
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

Fwiw, if you've read other things that Bri has posted, you would know not to listen to a word she says. Apparently she went over to the Getting in Shape board to brag about how wonderful her body is or something equally as lame. She also has the best skin EVAR and everyone should do what she does.

emilykathleen511 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_waiting-ask-making-friends-antsy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c2f7f0ba-fce5-420e-93e6-b0194259d648Post:bb5893f0-2599-430c-8c9a-fa860ed48317">Re: Waiting to Ask Making Friends Antsy</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting to Ask Making Friends Antsy : Fwiw, if you've read other things that Bri has posted, you would know not to listen to a word she says. Apparently she went over to the Getting in Shape board to brag about how wonderful her body is or something equally as lame. She also has the best skin EVAR and everyone should do what she does.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

<div>Don't forget her awesome graphic design skilz.</div>

anne.azano · March 2010

"The way I see it right now I can ask none, one, or all, but anything in between would probably REALLY hurt feelings." --lalap69

That whole one, all or none thing is tough. I decided to go with JUST sisters, meaning my sister, my brother's wife and my FI's brother's wife (I'm very close to all of them). I get the impression I've hurt one close friend's feelings (I've asked her to do a reading instead), but if I asked her, that would open up a whole can of worms regarding who I didn't ask. This was one of the first things I started stressing over! It's tough!

CTGirl30 · March 2010

Love the bean dip graphic! lol.

I dragged my feet on asking anyone since I have 2 very close groups of friends (one set from HS and one set from college) and I was so torn on who to ask (I don't have any siblings so no easy out just asking family). I can honestly say that is the one part of my wedding planning that stressed me the most. One of my friends hinted around alot but I brushed it off as best I could...another one finally was like, "Um. We need to know if we're going to be planning stuff for you so are you ever going to ask your bridesmaids?!?!" haha. Both of them are BMs now but it was just funny how I agonized over this decision. *sigh*

ETA - also, I went with the "all" approach in this case. I asked all of one group of friends. I was considering asking like 2 from one group and 2 from the other group but in the end, I decided to ask all 4 of my oldest friends and call it a day. It's worked just fine and I'm very happy I handled it this way. These are 4 girls who have known me the longest - over 15 years now - and I'm glad all of them are part of the BP.

quotequeen · March 2010

Hah! I started a thread a few weeks ago asking if anybody had had an experience like that and nobody stepped up, but now I know I was not crazy!

trix1223 · March 2010

CA2: My DD and I were just having that conversation a couple of weeks ago. She has several friends' weddings coming up, and said "I'm so glad I'm not in the WP. I don't have to spend the money, and I can just enjoy the wedding without any drama."

I think the only wedding she'll really WANT to be a part of would be her younger sister's~if and when she and her bf decide to tie the knot.

Stallmanj1 · March 2010

Interesting story - my friend got engaged when my now Fi and I went with them on spring break. We all talked about how we all were going to be in each others weddings. Since that had been such a long time ago, I didn't really remember talking about it. When all the wedding planning was happening, I felt completely out of the loop, because my friends were all gushing about how they were asked to be in the wedding, and how good the fabric was for their skin tone (her mom made the dresses), etc. I felt horrible! She had "never" asked me and never ever talked about wedding planning stuff with me at all. I never even got an invite to either of her showers. (I was out of state, though, and couldn't have made it.) Finaly, my Fi asked the groom what was going on when he got a measurements card in the mail, and they were already counting on that we would be in the wedding.

That was really messy - even though being polite and understanding is important, always be really direct and upfront with your bridesmaids about costs, dates, requirements, and what not to buy or worry about. And keep in touch with them - sometimes bridesmaids won't ask questions when they are confused.

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