Bouquet Toss/Garter Toss

lmvas4 · December 2012

I was hoping to get some opinions (positive and negative) on the bouquet and garter toss. About half of the weddings we have been to recently haven't had them and I didn't really miss it. My FI and I are on the fence about whether or not to do them. Thanks for you thoughts!

BulgariHeart · December 2012

MIne was a very intimate wedding, the tosses ended up being really nice and spontaneous for everyone involved. Plus we got some very beautiful shots from them.

During the planning I was also a bit hesitant and considered alternatives like hiding something in one of the individual mini cakes. Could be an idea for you as well!

Avion22 · December 2012

We skipped it, and nobody noticed -- except our very few single friends, who actually thanked us for not making them do it.

Jen4948 · December 2012

I'd like to skip them both, especially the garter toss. I've never seen it done or heard about it being done in any way that wasn't really crass.

As for the bouquet toss, again, I'm not a fan of either women getting competitive over it or of single women being pressured to participate in it. When it's happened at weddings I've been at, I stood back far enough to avoid being able to catch the bouquet.

Chloeagh · December 2012

I don't have an opinion on bouquet tosses, but garter tosses make me want to vomit a little. But maybe that's because most of the ones I see, the groom takes it off with his TEETH and I have no desire to watch anyone eagerly stick their head up someone else's dress. And the poor fathers. My stepdad absolutely would not tolerate that.

Dreamergirl8812 · December 2012

I hate bouquet tosses. First of all, that thing was expensive. Why are you throwing it in the air?

But really, I hate watching a bunch of seemingly desperate women flail around and fight over it.

MrsGandthebeag · December 2012

We didn't do either. My mom brought my bouquet after the wedding to my dad's grave. We did have an extra bouquet that we gave to the longest married couple.

AddieCake · December 2012

I am not a fan of either of the tosses.

cwaggoner07 · December 2012

I think it definitely depends on your crowd. We actually went through our guest list and came up with around 15 single guys and girl each that would be there, and to us, we wanted to do it. It also wouldn't be a big deal if someone wanted to sit it out since there were so many. I have a friend who is getting married in March to someone quite a bit older, and they are literally having ONE nonmarried friend there. So of course they aren't going to do it.

gundy21 · December 2012

We skipped them. Nearly all of our guests were married. We did an anniversary dance and my toss bouquet went to the longest married couple.

melb2013 · December 2012

I don't have anything against the bouquet toss, but I really think the garter toss has become quite crude and gross. We're not doing either- we're doing an anniversary dance instead. For people who don't know what that is, you have all the married couples dance and you eliminate them until the couple who has been married the longest is left standing and they get the bouquet.

I realize the bouquet is expensive, but I'll be giving my actual bouquet away- not a tossing one. I'm leaving for our honeymoon- I won't even be able to enjoy the flowers while they are fresh and dried flowers bother my allergies.

renegade gaucho · December 2012

I hate both traditions, and I haven't been to a wedding where either was done in about seven years.

maddynamite · December 2012

Like others have said, it depends on your crowd.

All my friends and younger cousins are looking forward to it. Not becuase they're desperate, but because it's kind of like a good luck charm.

I don't like the "dress digging" to get the bride's garter either, so I'm making a second one that will not be worn. This 2nd one will only be thrown.

It's up to you what you want, and what you and your guests are comfortable with. Good luck!

B2Z728 · December 2012

It's totally up to you to decide what you want to do.

I agree with others that you have to know your crowd. We have a lot of single friends, and I'm pretty sure that everyone involved enjoyed it. It's not like we forced people to participate. Mostly everyone involved knew each other so there was no weirdness about it.

I threw a "toss bouquet" not my real bouquet. My MOH caught it and the photos are really funny.

For the garter toss, my husband has enough class to know what's appropriate and what's not at wedding full of family. It was very tasteful and nothing obscene at all. A groomsmen caught the garter and he is also friends with the MOH. They gave us lots of luck for the future.

OliveOilsMom · December 2012

We did the anniversary dance instead. My dad's cousins who "won", were very excited when they got a few moment in the spotlight on the dance floor. And the wife was ecstatic when I gave her the bouquet. We had very few singles attend our wedding, so we thought it would be horrible to single out these people.

My BIL also did this at their wedding. His DJ had the longest married couple give some words of advice to the newlyweds. But depending on who the "winners" are, I feel like this could really put some people on the spot.

Tami87 · December 2012

We did them. We were one of the first to get married in our circle of friends, so the majority of our friends and all the wedding party were not married. I had a separate toss bouquet.

I also ended up wearing the garter, but my husband didn't do anything crazy taking it off and wasn't all up in my skirt. We also just took pictures of or with the two people who caught them (separately) instead of any of the awkwardness of having the guy put the garter on the girl who caught to bouquet. Not all our single guests participated and that was no big deal.

I do hate when some well meaning aunt or mother tries to round up people for the toss. At a wedding shortly after ours we had a woman come to our table and ask if we were all married (which 2/3 of the women at our table were). And then try to convince the one single girl to get up there for the toss. Super awkward.

libby2483 · December 2012

We did both. I threw a toss bouquet that doubled as decor for the cake table. We have lots of single friends and cousins, so both were pretty popular at our wedding.

Peledreamsofrain · December 2012

It does depend on the crowd. We had so many single cousins and friends at the wedding that it was a large boisterous group for both events. Plus we waited until farther into the evening, when everyone had drinks under their belts and were interested in silly fun.

I think the most important part of doing it in a classy way is to not single the people out who caught the items. No forcing them to interact with each other, no forced pictures, etc. They did enough by standing up there and catching items. Let that be it.

The best part about our bouquette toss was that one of my husband's cousins caught it. She's getting married this summer, they just announced the engagement! We're so happy for them, and think the coincidence is cute!

RWolff · December 2012

My FI really wants me to wear a garter, for some reason, but we'll be having a separate one tied to a volleyball for the toss. Since we met playing volleyball, we figured it would be cute like the football thing we've seen. We're tying it because it would have to be one huge garter to fit around a regulation volleyball haha.

We're doing a toss with a separate bouquet, but we're doing it like a tradition at my college since the majority of my female friends are from there. At Wellesley, there is a hoop rolling race at the end of senior year. Historically, the woman who won would be the first married. Now, the woman who wins will be the first to achieve her dreams. We're going to have the DJ announce that the bouquet toss will follow this tradition. Since literally 2 or 3 girls are single, I thought this would be a good way of getting all the girls on the floor without the awkwardness.

s-aries8990 · December 2012

I was round up for a boquet toss over the summer, it was me, the bride's niece (17?) and a 5-8 other women. It was thrown towards me and I blatantly stepped out of the way so her niece could catch it (after the FOB jokingly blocked his granddaughter from being in the crowd, oh well). There were plenty of laughs by my mother, the group we were with and the MOB.... I really didn't want to be in the spotlight for that.

fallbride1109 · December 2012

I wanted to skip them but my DH is very traditional and wanted to do them so we did. If you don't do them, no one will miss them. Totally up to you.

Lalilala · December 2012

Remember it not only depends on the crownd in the sense of how many singles are, but also in their personalities.

I've been in many weddings were I was single and I always felt akward with the bouquet thing. I've always felt comfortable when I'm single so I don't need to stand there in the spotlight hoping someone would love me and marry me. A lot of people think like me so you might end with 20 people actually trying to not to catch the bouquet.

melb2013 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bouquet-tossgarter-toss-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:42e92d80-3245-496d-8072-0e1aa02e135bPost:08085351-bf65-482b-a366-fd18a9e7cd93">Re: Bouquet Toss/Garter Toss</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bouquet Toss/Garter Toss : As opposed to when it started as a way to keep the guests from literally tearing off pieces of the bride's clothing? Just sayin, it's always been kind of crass.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I didn't know that. Ok, it's just gross period then.

</div>

Sharpschruter22 · December 2012

I love the bouquet toss and always miss it when it isn't done. Now it doesn't matter since I can no longer participate though. I love flowers and any way I can get my hands on them is fair game to me.

losttimetraveler · December 2012

I'll be wearing a garter, but not tossing it. (Its for my FH's removal in private, later on)
I'm iffy on the bouquet toss. We don't really have a lot of single people, (or a ton of people coming anyway) so it doesn't make a lot of sense. I'll probably either keep it for our home (silk flowers) or give it to my MOH.

libby18bell · December 2012

We aren't doing either, because the thought of my FI reaching up my dress in any way with our parents there watching creeps me out. I've also been one of the girls who's been dragged up there, I was 13 at my sister's wedding and caught the bouquet, thankfully it wasn't true and I'm one of the last of the girls to get married, talk about extra creepy having the garter put on me when I was 13 with everyone watching.

Anyways we are doing the anniversary dance and giving the bouquet away that way. Another idea if you do have a handful of single girls is to break the bouquet up and give each one a piece of your bouquet as a sign of good luck on them finding their true love. I actually thought this was a semi cute idea.

LizzyRB · December 2012

We are not doing either. I hate when I was forced as a single lady to participate in bouquet tosses and FI does not want everyone watching him feel up his new bride.

mweber74 · December 2012

Planning to do it. My wedding is unique in that it is intercultural. The first half is all Persian, so I wanted to keep some "American" traditions in the reception. I have a second small bouquet to throw and there will be NO TEETH involved in removing the garter. LOL

[Deleted User] · December 2012

We didn't do it at our wedding. I'm 39 & H is 44, most of our friends guests were married and the few that were single were happy we weren't doing it. No one asked about it, so I'm assuming no one missed it.

I do like the idea of one pp that she gave her flowers to the couple that had been married the longest after the anniversary dance.

JoseD12 · December 2012

Me and my fiance will be having both the bouqet and garter toss at our wedding. He will be taking one of my garters off with his teeth and the guests who caught the garter and bouquet will dance together.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bouquet-tossgarter-toss-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:42e92d80-3245-496d-8072-0e1aa02e135bPost:1a7c1ad7-1b66-48f6-89ca-c7649ded70e9">Bouquet Toss/Garter Toss</a>:
[QUOTE]I was hoping to get some opinions (positive and negative) on the bouquet and garter toss. About half of the weddings we have been to recently haven't had them and I didn't really miss it. My FI and I are on the fence about whether or not to do them. Thanks for you thoughts!
Posted by lmvas4[/QUOTE]

I personally do not like them... especially the garter toss. I don't need him going up my dress in front of 240 friends and family. And the bouquet toss half the time the women who come up for it are not always single. It is supposed to be for SINGLE women only.

I would say about half the weddings I've been to did them. I find it very trashy.

Bouquet Toss/Garter Toss

Re: Bouquet Toss/Garter Toss

Choose Another Board

Search Boards