Should bride sing at her own wedding?

smileclc · June 2010

I have always been told that I have the "voice like an angel" and I am always singing solos at church or at weddings. I wanted to sing at my own wedding but was unsure about how the bride can sing at her own wedding. My reception will be simple- just veggies, fruit, bride's cake and groom's cake. There will not be dancing at the reception- just will be in the church's fellowship hall. Not sure when I could sing at the wedding... it will be a very traditional southern Baptist wedding. My groom can sing as well... My father actually has won awards for singing and did not know if I should put him in the musical line up or just have him walk me down the aisle.

Please help!

FutureMrsTR · June 2010

It seems very attention grabbing to sing at your own wedding. And do you really want the pressure of doing that on your wedding day? Wouldn't you rather just relax and enjoy the day? My FMIL wanted FI and I to sing at our wedding and we said HELLS NO.

sarah0725 · June 2010

If you are really and truly an excellent singer, then yes, I think this can be beautiful. My brother is an opera singer, and when he first told me he was going to sing at his wedding while his bride walked up the aisle, I thought, "God, what an attention whore." But then when it actually happened, it was wonderful, and I cried a whole bunch. Then I had to get up and do a reading and cried while I was doing it, but that's another story.

On the other hand, at FI's nursing graduation, one of the nurses got up and sang "You Raaaaaaiiiiiiiiisssseee Meeeee Uuuuup!!!!" and it was about the worst thing ever. Nothing is worse than listening to a bad singer who thinks they're a good singer.

As for having family sing at your wedding, the same rule applies. My brother is singing at mine.

nda_roxybabe · June 2010

I've seen this done before (typically at baptist weddings too) and honestly, I don't like it. It always makes me feel uncomfortable but I guess thats my own issue.

Brie2010 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:ccf50968-b7c6-4456-b246-a9f343ac6f7e">Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have always been told that I have the "voice like an angel" and I am always singing solos at church or at weddings. I wanted to sing at my own wedding but was unsure about how the bride can sing at her own wedding. My reception will be simple- just veggies, fruit, bride's cake and groom's cake. There will not be dancing at the reception- just will be in the church's fellowship hall. Not sure when I could sing at the wedding... it will be a very traditional southern Baptist wedding. My groom can sing as well... My father actually has won awards for singing and did not know if I should put him in the musical line up or just have him walk me down the aisle. Please help!
Posted by smileclc[/QUOTE]

No. Weird. Don't sing at your own wedding. You'll be nervous enough on you're wedding day; I wouldn't add performance anxiety to the mix. It would be even weirder if the groom sang too, and I think that you should just let your dad walk down the aisle. Think about it--do you really want your dad singing a love song at your wedding to you? Strange.

jnic0319 · June 2010

I don't like the idea. I think it's "showy." If your dad wanted to do it or a friend, but the only time I've seen a bride sing at her wedding was an episode of bridezilla and it was extremely inappropriate in my opinion.

Night_Sprite · June 2010

I wouldn't. You could sing him something in private, but singing at your own wedding will seem really attention whorey. Also, if you're running high on emotions you might cry your way through it and be all runny and unattractive. I have also received awards and such for singing, but I was not singing during our wedding.

csumler · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:e2cadf8a-961c-49cd-9007-64b0e333d0a0">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]It seems very attention grabbing to sing at your own wedding. And do you really want the pressure of doing that on your wedding day? Wouldn't you rather just relax and enjoy the day? My FMIL wanted FI and I to sing at our wedding and we said HELLS NO.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

Attention grabbing? Maybe I misunderstood, but she's the bride and he's the groom. All of the attention is going to be on them that day since the wedding is about them and their love for eachother.

My Aunt sang at her own wedding and she has a beautiful voice. If you think you cna pull it off then go ahead. I agree with a previous poster though. You're going to be really nervous that day so just make sure that this is something you can do. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

AmoroAgain · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:e8a7aa7a-da73-4dfb-8923-8e337657945a">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't like the idea. I think it's "showy." If your dad wanted to do it or a friend, but the only time I've seen a bride sing at her wedding was an episode of bridezilla and it was extremely inappropriate in my opinion.
Posted by jnic0319[/QUOTE]

Aaaagreed

andyandhillary · June 2010

I just think it's weird but do whatcha want. My friends did it when they got married, in a way. The couple sang with their parents and apparently other people liked it. I just think it's awkward more than anything.

sarah0725 · June 2010

Here's my brother singing to his wife:

This also may be unfair and sexist, but I think grooms might get away with it a little more easily. Everybody sees my brother as a loveable scamp, so he can get away with being kind of an AW.

baystateapple · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:e8a7aa7a-da73-4dfb-8923-8e337657945a">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't like the idea. I think it's "showy." If your dad wanted to do it or a friend, but the only time I've seen a bride sing at her wedding was an episode of bridezilla and it was extremely inappropriate in my opinion.
Posted by jnic0319[/QUOTE]

As soon as I saw this question, I thought of that episode. That was painful to watch.

jnic0319 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:84a09cb9-c318-4b24-8487-9825bb0528f0">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding? : I saw that episode and she was freaking terrible. I mean, sure, sing at your own wedding if you're a really good singer but if you suck at singing, spare the eardrums of the guests and spare yourself from all that stress.
Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]

I know right! However, she thought she was great and I think too many people think that. I'm sure OP has an excellent voice, but with stress and emotions, I really would avoid this.

andyandhillary · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:7790b39b-5fe6-4f67-b94f-e4935359aed5">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's my brother singing to his wife: This also may be unfair and sexist, but I think grooms might get away with it a little more easily. Everybody sees my brother as a loveable scamp, so he can get away with being kind of an AW.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

I love that you just used the word "scamp".

quotequeen · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:2246c323-2874-4883-a3c1-3b4d5aef31f8">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding? : Attention grabbing? Maybe I misunderstood, but she's the bride and he's the groom. All of the attention is going to be on them that day since the wedding is about them and their love for eachother. My Aunt sang at her own wedding and she has a beautiful voice. If you think you cna pull it off then go ahead. I agree with a previous poster though. You're going to be really nervous that day so just make sure that this is something you can do.
Posted by csumler[/QUOTE]

Yes, but that doesn't mean they need to do extra AW-ish stuff. It's kind of like plastering pictures of yourself all over the walls at the reception. The fact that you are the center of attention already doesn't make that ok.

jnic0319 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:7790b39b-5fe6-4f67-b94f-e4935359aed5">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's my brother singing to his wife: This also may be unfair and sexist, but I think grooms might get away with it a little more easily. Everybody sees my brother as a loveable scamp, so he can get away with being kind of an AW.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

I don't think it's sexist. I've been to a couple of weddings where the groom sang to his wife, (my dad actually wrote a song and played the guitar and sang it to my mom). For some reason it's more acceptable to me when the groom is singing it to his wife, but not when it's for "entertainment." If that makes any sense.

mags0607 · June 2010

I have mixed feelings on this. I have seen it doe twice (both in Baptist weddings). The first time it was beautiful, the bride sang a really pretty religious song before the vows and she had the church accompaniment to back her up. It seemed a lot more personal than having the preacher speak for a long time.

The second time was a train wreck. The bride was terrible, she started sobbing halfway through, and it just didn't go off well at all.

I'm not fully opposed to it if its done well, the bride holds her nerves together, and its timed properly not to interfere with the vows, processional or recessional. I just think it REALLY depends on the quality of the person's voice, and where it is during the ceremony.

brilibby4 · June 2010

I think it seems weird and AWish. I have won many singing competitions as well but there is no way in hell I would consider singing at my own wedding.

waltzingmatilda13 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:2c8b3708-9887-4326-922c-88e539aedb5b">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Should bride sing at her own wedding? : No. Weird. Don't sing at your own wedding. You'll be nervous enough on you're wedding day; I wouldn't add performance anxiety to the mix. It would be even weirder if the groom sang too, and I think that you should just let your dad walk down the aisle. Think about it--do you really want your dad singing a love song at your wedding to you? Strange.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

I've seen it! At my cousin's wedding last month the bride's dad was the minister and once they got to the altar he turned around and sang "I Loved Her First" by Heartland, while standing 2 feet in front of them. It was really awkward and uncomfortable to watch.

nda_roxybabe · June 2010

Its better when its the groom singing imo but I still don't care for it.

csumler · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:ec2b7a26-6a16-48a6-af51-8c78b30975b0">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding? : Yes, but that doesn't mean they need to do extra AW-ish stuff. It's kind of like plastering pictures of yourself all over the walls at the reception. The fact that you are the center of attention already doesn't make that ok.
Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

That's funny because we had a slideshow at ours. It had our baby pics from when wer growing to our most recent pictures together. But it was off to the side and guests could go look at it when they wanted.

sarah0725 · June 2010

I think that having a family member singing a love song can be fine as long as you think carefully about the lyrics. It's weird if it's a first-person love song, definitely, but not all love songs are like that. We're using "Some Enchanted Evening", which is about an older guy giving a younger guy advice. I like that.

Labrnr · June 2010

I'm really surprised by all the negative comments regarding this issue.

Your wedding is your own, do what you feel comforatble with.

I'm sooooo tired of everyone saying "you can't do that" or "you can't do this" "it's not acceptable" or "you might offend someone"

I mean for crying out loud, it's your wedding, if you want to hire a clown to put on a show go for it. Only you and your FI know what is acceptable for YOUR wedding.

The only thing I would not agree with is openly insulting, or hurting someone(s).

ie. the knottie who wanted to fly the confederate flag, or use them in decorations.

That I'm not down with, but really singing at your own wedding?

If you love to sing and you feel that you can pull it off, I say do it!

FutureMrsTR · June 2010

Also, a lot of the people that get laughed at on American Idol have been told by people in their hometown that they're wonderful singers. And see how that turns out for them. I'm just saying.

L-Bride · June 2010

When a bride or groom sings at their wedding is just make me feel embarrassed for them- even if they can carry a tune. I just don't think a wedding reception is the venue for a B or G to sing.
I don't like anyone singing in public unless it's Karaoke at your local Chinese food establishment or you are a professional.

MISSCOURTNEY20 · June 2010

If you thnk you can make it through the song, I say do it. I watched an episode of 4 Weddings where the bride sang as she walked down the aisle, and it was beautiful. She and her husband actually won the honeymoon.

AmoroAgain · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:b2b0c4c4-0602-44f2-95bd-6f413f1a5ffe">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm really surprised by all the negative comments regarding this issue. Your wedding is your own, do what you feel comforatble with. I'm sooooo tired of everyone saying "you can't do that" or "you can't do this" "it's not acceptable" or "you might offend someone" I mean for crying out loud, it's your wedding, if you want to hire a clown to put on a show go for it. Only you and your FI know what is acceptable for YOUR wedding. The only thing I would not agree with is openly insulting, or hurting someone(s). ie. the knottie who wanted to fly the confederate flag, or use them in decorations. That I'm not down with, but really singing at your own wedding? If you love to sing and you feel that you can pull it off, I say do it!
Posted by Labrnr[/QUOTE]

This only true to an extent Labrnr. I mean, weddings are about MARRIAGE not throwing a bunch of hoopla in the mix that distracts from that. There's already a lot of junk that goes into weddings anyway, and I for one, don't think it needs to go any further.

L-Bride · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:7ed6a539-4437-4b8f-826e-c77fd432c68a">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, a lot of the people that get laughed at on American Idol have been told by people in their hometown that they're wonderful singers. And see how that turns out for them. I'm just saying.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

Yes, exactly!
How about this: post a youtube video of you singing and we'll watch. Then we'll give you the yea or nay.

Brie2010 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:b2b0c4c4-0602-44f2-95bd-6f413f1a5ffe">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm really surprised by all the negative comments regarding this issue. Your wedding is your own, do what you feel comforatble with. I'm sooooo tired of everyone saying "you can't do that" or "you can't do this" "it's not acceptable" or "you might offend someone" I mean for crying out loud, it's your wedding, if you want to hire a clown to put on a show go for it. Only you and your FI know what is acceptable for YOUR wedding. The only thing I would not agree with is openly insulting, or hurting someone(s). ie. the knottie who wanted to fly the confederate flag, or use them in decorations. That I'm not down with, but really singing at your own wedding? If you love to sing and you feel that you can pull it off, I say do it!
Posted by Labrnr[/QUOTE]

The question isn't "is it rude to sing at my own wedding?" (No, it's not.) The question is "SHOULD I sing at my own wedding?" She's asking opinions. My opinion is that it's weird and as a guest, in my experience, this rarely turns out well...so no, you shouldn't.

nda_roxybabe · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bride-sing-her-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:59eb6e58-327c-499f-a9ba-7dcda75a9607Post:b2b0c4c4-0602-44f2-95bd-6f413f1a5ffe">Re: Should bride sing at her own wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm really surprised by all the negative comments regarding this issue. Your wedding is your own, do what you feel comforatble with. I'm sooooo tired of everyone saying "you can't do that" or "you can't do this" "it's not acceptable" or "you might offend someone" I mean for crying out loud, it's your wedding, if you want to hire a clown to put on a show go for it. Only you and your FI know what is acceptable for YOUR wedding. The only thing I would not agree with is openly insulting, or hurting someone(s). ie. the knottie who wanted to fly the confederate flag, or use them in decorations. That I'm not down with, but really singing at your own wedding? If you love to sing and you feel that you can pull it off, I say do it!
Posted by Labrnr[/QUOTE]

She asked for opinion and thoughts, which is what she has received. No one has said "NO! your marriage will be doooomed!!!!"
I think she is well aware that its her wedding to with what she pleases but that doesn't mean that other peoples input isn't helpful.

Pirata13 · June 2010

No.

Should bride sing at her own wedding?

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