Wedding Etiquette Forum

Guest List Question

Im a different kind of bride.  I am a bride that you can say what you want point blank and I wont be upset.  (If you've read my answers to other posts you'll know what I mean.)

Here is my question-My fiancee and I wanted a small and intimate wedding.  Given that we both come from large families it is beyond out the window.  It is more like over in Africa as far as that idea is concerned.  How do we make it clear to our guests that they are NOT welcome to invite more than what the invitation says?  I have cousins that are famous for inviting their most current girlfriend or boyfriend to family functions even if they have only been dating for 24 hours. (No I was not exaggerating.)  If you can help me on how to do it without sounding like a bridezilla that would be great!

Yes you could argue to do it the way I usually would do it but I can only be blunt for certain people if you know what I mean!
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Re: Guest List Question

  • You address the invitation to the just the person invited.  If s/he RSVPs with a date, then you call and say "I'm sorry, but we have to keep our guest list as small as possible due to space at the venue."

    You do, however, have to invite partners of people who are in long-term relationships (married, engaged, dating for a year, etc.).
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  • You could also specify on the RSVP card something along the lines of one of these:

    __2__ seats have been reserved in your name

    or

    Mr. Smith   Will Attend  Unable to Attend
    Mrs. Smith   Will Attend  Unable to Attend

    I plan on doing the second option, mainly because we will have meal choices and need to know for each person, but also so no one can assume anyone else is included in the invite.

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  • Have you thought about a destination wedding? That would help keep things intimate since lots of people couldn't go and wouldn't pay to bring a new date!!
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