The background: I'm Buddhist and my FI was raised Jewish but is not practicing. I am actively practicing, consider myself a religious person, and am a member of the local Buddhist community. I had a traumatic experience in Sunday school as a kid and it's left me with a life-long distaste for Jesus, even though I know my experience is not reflective of the Christian faith as a whole.
There is no real Buddhist wedding tradition, so to speak, so we're writing our own ceremony that reflects our values without naming any religious figures. Because my grandparents and my FI's parents are practicing Jews, we're incorporating a few traditions like breaking the glass and both of us being escorted down the aisle by both parents. My mom's family is Christian and agreed to sing some hymns that don't mention Jesus or God to reflect their Congregationalist roots.
The problem is, my mom's mom is insistant that we include God in the ceremony. She tries to bring it up in a variety of other contexts (eg. "what childhood traditions are important to you?" or "how do you plan to honor your own family history?") but it always ends with her refusing to acknoledge that I don't believe in God. We live nearby and take her out almost every Sunday when she's done with Church, and FI and I both love getting to spend time with her. She's a really amazing person, but this is ruining my desire to be anywhere near her! I'm even more frustrated that my aunt is supporting my grandmother's cause and keeps suggesting Biblical verses, and my own mom suggested we switch out one of my favorite hymns for one that mentions God directly.
I know that they are precieving my refusals as disrespectful of their relgion, but I feel like their pressing the issue is extremely disrespectful of MY religion! We're going in circles at ths point and I am out of ideas for compromises. What would you do?? Any ideas of ways to honor Christianity without bringing in God or Jesus?