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Separate guest lists for multiple showers?

bellabananasbellabananas
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm not certain about the etiquette on this. My FH's aunt recently contacted me and asked if she could throw me a luncheon/shower. I'm really touched and would love that. My concern is that my BM and I were discussing doing a shower, spa session, and bachelorette party all on the same day, about two weeks out from the wedding. Right now I am figuring it will be easiest to have family/older people to the luncheon/shower during the summer and have the younger crowd turn out for a honeymoon shower/spa visit/bachelorette party. So my question is this, can the same guests (whoever is interested) be invited to both parties? On both sides of the families are some younger ladies that both showers would be applicable to. I just want everyone to be included and have fun but I also don't want people to think I'm fishing for gifts or double dipping. Thoughts?
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Re: Separate guest lists for multiple showers?

  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    There should be seperate guest lists for each shower with the exception of immediate family (moms, sisters) and BP who are usually invited to all showers.

    That said; I'd re-think the "shower / spa / b-party" idea.  A shower is a gift-giving event in which guests "shower" the bride with gifts.  A spa-themed b-party? cool; a spa-themed b-party where I'm also expected to bring you a tradiional shower gift - feels like too much to me.

    I'd invite everyone (within the host's comfort level) to the shower and just call the second event (that hopefully your BM volunteered to host without you dictating it) your b-party. THOSE guest lists can overlap no problem.

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  • bellabananasbellabananas
    10 Comments
    I guess I should clarify. Second shower is going to be "honeymoon" shower, basically where the gifts are geared towards things to use on the honeymoon. Then BMs and couple of other girls get some pampering, then go out for the bachelorette party. But I guess as Kate suggested, I should just call the second date the bachelorette party and then overlap is okay? I want the first shower to satisfy the older crowd and tradition, but I want the second one to be a lot more relaxed and a really good time. And sexy/silly. Make sense?
    Another thought just occured to me. How can I let guests know that the first shower is family-oriented and the second one fun-oriented (ie lingerie at the second, not the first)?
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  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If the second shower is going to be for the HM and lingerie, then call it a lingerie shower and could even be combined with the bachelorette party.  The first shower needs to be called a bridal shower.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10
    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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