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Stressing Already!!!

ktbelle09ktbelle09
First Comment
in North Carolina
So, my fiance and I met in Charlotte (well, we actually "met" online).  He is from NJ - ALL, and I mean ALL of his family lives there.  We have looked at EVERY venue in the Charlotte area and the ones that have impressed us have outdone the $10k budget my father is giving us.  So we have been toying with the idea of having a NJ wedding.  Which will limit my elderly family guests and I will not be able to have the "hands on" planning approach that I want to have for my wedding.  But after looking at some of the menu options for NJ vneues, nothing has impressed me down since I've seen what is offered and included in NJ.  I'm not sure what to do, but I already feel like I'm losing a battle and I'm ready to give up.  He and I both agree we would love to have a wedding here, but if the value is so much better in NJ, then we have to consider it.  I was born and raised in SC and couldn't bare the thought of getting married in NJ - nothing against the state, just a personal preference.  It just doesn't feel right to me to get married in NJ when my heart is here in NC.  Any suggestions, y'all???  I'm just hoping that I'm not being stubborn and turning into a Bridezilla, I just want a southern wedding, but I hate to pay $12k for something I can get in NJ for $8k (plus so much more!) Cry

Oh, and we aren't getting married until October 2012, so there is plenty of time to make a decision, I just want to make one now and stop stressing over it! Undecided
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Re: Stressing Already!!!

  • pirategal03pirategal03 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_stressing-already?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:d4e15786-a8b1-439d-94df-6dedfc23ff5dPost:c521b562-293e-46cd-94bd-ac002fe68e32">Stressing Already!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, my fiance and I met in Charlotte (well, we actually "met" online).  He is from NJ - ALL, and I mean ALL of his family lives there.  We have looked at EVERY venue in the Charlotte area and <strong>the ones that have impressed us have outdone the $10k budget my father is giving us.  </strong>So we have been toying with the idea of having a NJ wedding.  Which will limit my elderly family guests and I will not be able to have the "hands on" planning approach that I want to have for my wedding.  But after looking at some of the menu options for NJ vneues, nothing has impressed me down since I've seen what is offered and included in NJ.  I'm not sure what to do, but I already feel like I'm losing a battle and I'm ready to give up.  He and I both agree we would love to have a wedding here, but if the value is so much better in NJ, then we have to consider it.  I was born and raised in SC and couldn't bare the thought of getting married in NJ - nothing against the state, just a personal preference.  It just doesn't feel right to me to get married in NJ when my heart is here in NC.  Any suggestions, y'all???  I'm just hoping that I'm not being stubborn and turning into a Bridezilla, I just want a southern wedding, but I hate to pay $12k for something I can get in NJ for $8k (plus so much more!) Oh, and we aren't getting married until October 2012, so there is plenty of time to make a decision, I just want to make one now and stop stressing over it!
    Posted by ktbelle09[/QUOTE]

    So either lower your expectations or pay for it yourself. 
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  • sksitessksites
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you just have to decide what's more important for you two...being in the location YOU want and saving some money over the next year and paying for the additional NC costs yourselves or if money is really tight and the NJ wedding is your only option. In the end it's your wedding and you have to be happy with it. I'd probably be less stressful to plan a NC wedding simply b/c you're here to meet with vendors, etc. Hope everything turns out well for you two!
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  • daydreamzzdaydreamzz member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My FI is from Long Island and I'm from Buffalo and we don't have any family here. We looked everywhere in Raleigh (where we live now) but couldn't find anything we liked that wasn't astronomically priced. We decided to get married in Asheville where we found an affordable venue that we both love! Both of our families are excited for the vacation and the chance to visit Asheville in the fall. Finding a venue was by far the most stressful item and it's tough because it's the first thing you start with! If you can't find anything in Charlotte, branch out a little bit. You'll find something!
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  • trawas01trawas01 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My FI and I are both from NJ but moved to NC about a year ago. When we got engaged we priced venues in both NJ and NC and NJ prices are far and above those in NC.

    We couldn't find a venue in NJ that we liked for under $120 a head. Comparable places in NC were in the $60-80 ballpark. Have you priced venues in NJ? I find it hard to believe your finding a better deal there, at least based on my own experiences.

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  • ktbelle09ktbelle09
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We have found several places in NC that are $80/pp, then we have found one place (Lakewood) in NJ that is $70pp, tax and grat included, with 5 hour prem bar.  I don't understand why it's such a better deal, but it certainly is.
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  • trawas01trawas01 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_stressing-already?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:d4e15786-a8b1-439d-94df-6dedfc23ff5dPost:bdfb9318-b520-4768-a9c7-e5b2357256c0">Re: Stressing Already!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have found several places in NC that are $80/pp, then we have found one place (Lakewood) in NJ that is $70pp, tax and grat included, with 5 hour prem bar.  I don't understand why it's such a better deal, but it certainly is.
    Posted by ktbelle09[/QUOTE]

    That is a pretty good deal. I will forwarn, be careful in the lakewood area. While a few spots are nice its overwhelmingly not a nice area and is getting worse every year (my Future FIL is a cop in the area :))

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    October 13, 2012
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  • shigaitesshigaites
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah $70/pp in New Jersey with alcohol included, I'd be wondering what's wrong with the place.  No one I know that's gotten married in NJ has gotten anywhere NEAR that good of a deal!
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  • ktbelle09ktbelle09
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry, it's $77/pp but still, 5 hour prem bar included, well - it's all listed on their site.  My future in laws went to check the Lakewood place out for us before we come up there in July and they said it was "okay" - they weren't impressed with the ceremony site grounds.  His parents live in Freehold, so I think we may try to stay around there.  We are having our engagement party and the brownstone -- any reviews on that place? Of course I know nothing about it!! - in laws are hosting this shindig. ;) Thanks ladies!
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  • pirategal03pirategal03 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    The Brownstone in Raleigh? 
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  • blancokmblancokm member
    10 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011

    I am in similar shoes with the long distance planning currently. Me and my FI live in AZ & we are getting married in Beaufort where my parents live. I have to agree with some comments, you might have to lower your expectations for a venue if you are really wanting to get married in Charlotte. Having a budget wedding in NC is possible! I think our is ending up being about 7-8K. It is possible, just do some serious research. There also may be some amazing places just outside of charlotte to look at as well! Good luck! By the way .. I got engaged just about 2 weeks ago.. and getting married on Sept 4.. less than three months for planning. If I can do it with that little time and find a wonderful place on a 10k budget, I know you can with over a year of planning! :)

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  • ktbelle09ktbelle09
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh yea, I know it's definitely doable.  Our expectations aren't going anywhere, and we just yesterday found everything we wanted for about $6k. Done. NC it is. ;)
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  • ktbelle09ktbelle09
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Brownstone in Paterson NJ
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