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MoH & BM - does not seem interested!!

bxgirl72bxgirl72 member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
My Maid of Honor & one of my BMaids - just does not seem interested in my wedding! I have asked them both if they still want to be in the wedding - they SAY yes - but their actions say NO!!

I am planning to have 1 MoH & 3 BMs & only 2 of my BMs are there for me. Should I just take the other 2 out. BTW my MoH is my sister!!
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Re: MoH & BM - does not seem interested!!

  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-bm-not-seem-interested?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fc9c68b6-c920-48ed-aa87-0b3bf077df2fPost:eeb92320-02bd-43e7-b970-c71e9ada8f8a">MoH & BM - does not seem interested!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My Maid of Honor & one of my BMaids - just does not seem interested in my wedding! I have asked them both if they still want to be in the wedding - they SAY yes - but their actions say NO!! I am planning to have 1 MoH & 3 BMs & only 2 of my BMs are there for me. Should I just take the other 2 out. BTW my MoH is my sister!!
    Posted by bxgirl72[/QUOTE]

    Yeah.  Throw your sister out.  Sounds like a really good idea.  I'm sure that won't rock the boat in your family at all.

    You can't throw people out.  They're not garbage.  You asked them to be your attendants.  If you value their friendships, you will admit to yourself that your wedding is just not as interesting to anyone else as it is to you, be a big girl, and deal with it.
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  • stina93446stina93446 member
    2500 Comments
    No one is required to go all goo goo over your wedding except you. As long as your bms show up on the day of the wedding dressed and clean, they've done their "jobs." Kicking out your sister would be the worst thing you could do. Not only will you look bad but everyone in the family will find out. BTW, you will be looking bad because she hasn't done anything wrong. 

    When Aunt Betsy comes up to you and asks why your sis was kicked out, all you'll have to respond with is "she didn't help me with my wedding" or "she didn't jump up and down everytime we talked about my wedding."

    Give them all some slack.
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  • lharri12lharri12 member
    500 Comments
    How exactly are they not showing interest?  If they're not willing to do what they need to do to get their dresses, this is a valid reason to kick them out.  That is the ONLY valid reason to kick anyone out, as their only responsiblity is to get the dress and stand up with you for the ceremony and pictures.  They don't have to talk about wedding planning with you, they don't have to go to bridal shows with you, they don't have to help you pick out flowers, stuff envelopes, etc.  If they do these things with you, that's awesome, but that's not their job.  You picked them, so they are your BMs.
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  • bxgirl72bxgirl72 member
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    I reallly want to thank you ladies - for the feedback & reality check! I guess I'm being a bit of a baby...I just expected to have a bit more help/interested from my BMs - but then again it is MY day...so I'll just handle everything myself!!
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  • stina93446stina93446 member
    2500 Comments
    If you need help, ask your FI. It's his wedding too. If you want to ooh and aah over your wedding, come to the knot. Problems solved and all your friendships are intact...
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  • psichickpsichick
    1000 Comments
    always remember - no one cares as much about your wedding as you do. most BM's think "omg this wedding is six months away, stop already!" while you're thinking "omg there's only six months left!!!!!!!"
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  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-bm-not-seem-interested?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fc9c68b6-c920-48ed-aa87-0b3bf077df2fPost:d1cd5a56-1a76-469b-b100-843c7de4ad7d">Re: MoH & BM - does not seem interested!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I reallly want to thank you ladies - for the feedback & reality check! I guess I'm being a bit of a baby...I just expected to have a bit more help/interested from my BMs - but then again it is MY day...so I'll just handle everything myself!!
    Posted by bxgirl72[/QUOTE]

    This is good. It's YOUR day (plural), so get your FI helping on some things too. Their lack of interest really isn't a commentary on how they feel about you - they're probably just not wedding people, or they're busy, or one of a million other reasons that isn't meant as an insult to you.

    Also, lurking on here might help you see that you're not the only one who feels this way. Plenty of brides think that their BMs going to be crazy excited and are dissapointed when they aren't. You're just taking the advice better than most of them :)
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