Ourwishingwell or Honeyfund? Has anyone used these to register with?

rnalicia81 · May 2010

Hi,
I was thinking of registering with either or both of these websites because my fiance and I have basically everything we already need as we have been living with each other for a few years. I wanted to know if anyone has used either of these sites and what they thought about them and are they safe? Thank you for your time.

flutgrl1 · May 2010

I think it's wrong to ask for material goods you don't need.
The people that care about you should always want to gift you something you will appreciate and need.
Whether it be another set of stupid towels, cash, or giftcards.
I think it is good for brides to realize that they don't have to do things one set way.

MyNameIsNot · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_ourwishingwell-honeyfund-anyone-used-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:8037c4ac-9599-4f63-95af-cce87bbcfad6Post:c9cf0b89-411d-458f-b0be-ce3f3c31d3c4">Re: Ourwishingwell or Honeyfund? Has anyone used these to register with?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's wrong to ask for material goods you don't need. The people that care about you should always want to gift you something you will appreciate and need. Whether it be another set of stupid towels, cash, or giftcards. I think it is good for brides to realize that they don't have to do things one set way.
Posted by flutgrl1[/QUOTE]

<div>But the fact remains, it is terribly inappropriate to ask for cash. </div><div>
</div><div>If they do decide to have one of these rude registries, they are going to offend people, and they should know that going in. </div>

luckyme502 · May 2010

You don't ask for cash. It's rude.

laurenclaire1386 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_ourwishingwell-honeyfund-anyone-used-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:8037c4ac-9599-4f63-95af-cce87bbcfad6Post:c9cf0b89-411d-458f-b0be-ce3f3c31d3c4">Re: Ourwishingwell or Honeyfund? Has anyone used these to register with?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I think it's wrong to ask for material goods you don't need. </strong>The people that care about you should always want to gift you something you will appreciate and need. Whether it be another set of stupid towels, cash, or giftcards. I think it is good for brides to realize that they don't have to do things one set way.
Posted by flutgrl1[/QUOTE]
Of course that's wrong as well. If the case is that the couple doesn't need any material goods, then they don't register. You don't have to have a registry at all. If the couple has everything they need, and don't register, one of two things will happen: wedding guests will choose a gift on their own, or they'll take the pretty obvious hint and give cash. There's just no need to register for cash; it's the height of presumptuous and rude. People aren't dumb, they'll figure out that cash is the most appreciated gift without anyone ever saying anything about it.

rnalicia81 · May 2010

Thank you to those few responses that were helpful.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_ourwishingwell-honeyfund-anyone-used-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:8037c4ac-9599-4f63-95af-cce87bbcfad6Post:3e079ef4-4eb0-41e6-99df-9852b6a5c90e">Re: Ourwishingwell or Honeyfund? Has anyone used these to register with?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you to those few responses that were helpful.
Posted by rnalicia81[/QUOTE]

Which, I'm assuming, were the ones that told you what you wanted to hear. Awesome.

MyNameIsNot · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_ourwishingwell-honeyfund-anyone-used-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:8037c4ac-9599-4f63-95af-cce87bbcfad6Post:3e079ef4-4eb0-41e6-99df-9852b6a5c90e">Re: Ourwishingwell or Honeyfund? Has anyone used these to register with?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you to those few responses that were helpful.
Posted by rnalicia81[/QUOTE]

<div>You're welcome! I hope we helped you avoid embarrassing yourself with one of those disgusting cash registries! </div>

SparrowSong · May 2010

I would be so embarrassed to have a registry like this. Nobody owes you a cash equivalent to a gift. If you don't need anything, then decline gifts and don't register. People who don't mind gifting cash will anyway, and you'll save them a few bucks becuase it won't be going to some middleman who thought up the tacky concept of a cash registry and takes a cut from it.

aprovencher21 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_ourwishingwell-honeyfund-anyone-used-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:8037c4ac-9599-4f63-95af-cce87bbcfad6Post:c9cf0b89-411d-458f-b0be-ce3f3c31d3c4">Re: Ourwishingwell or Honeyfund? Has anyone used these to register with?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's wrong to ask for material goods you don't need. The people that care about you should always want to gift you something you will appreciate and need. Whether it be another set of stupid towels, cash, or giftcards. I think it is good for brides to realize that they don't have to do things one set way.
Posted by flutgrl1[/QUOTE]

Not following a "set way" is just an excuse for your horrible lack of manners. Honeymoon, house, whatever funds are tacky and rude. You do not ask in anyway shape or form for cash. If you don't want material things then don't register.....most people will get the hint and give you money (and you won't look like a greedy moron).

hunterjumper321 · May 2010

New here, and felt that my first post should say : Wow...heated board. Gotta say.

Look...without pointing any fingers, here's the deal. Every bride is different. While some people think it's tacky or rude to ask for cash or cash equivalents; others think that its rude to lead people into believing they're gifting you a tangible item that they're gonna use, when really its gonna go into a closet never to be seen again.

The fact of the matter is: A registry itself is greedy. No matter what's on it. A bride is used to people telling her that she should register months before the wedding (ususally before the invitations are sent out) which implies that you are expecting people to get you something. So who's to say that a cash vs. tangible item registry is acceptable or not?? It all depends on the bride and those invited to her wedding. If she feels that no one on her invite list will be offended if they prefer monetary gifts in some form, then go for it. Cash is the universal gift, right? On the other hand, there's always something that you can use in the house....new towels , new sheets, a toaster to replace your 20 year old one...whatever!

I honestly think that if you have an opinion that differs from the post......present it in a way that is not attacking. Like, " I am using a traditional registry because I think that it would come across as being rude if i just asked for money...even if we have pretty much everything." or "I'm using a cash registry because we have everything we could possibly need and my family and friends completely understand".

SparrowSong · May 2010

The difference between a traditional registry and a cash one is that the traditional still provides choice to the giver. They can pick from many items, get an idea of style/taste, or disregard it and get something else. A cash registry removes all choice and informs the giver that they are expected to give only one thing - cash. It misses the point of what a gift is.

rnalicia81 · May 2010

Thank you, thank you , thank you hunterjumper! You summed it up for me. This was the first post I have done on here and was shocked at some of the responses. I did not think people would get so heated especially since many of the responses did not even relate to the question I had posted they were basically opinions of others.

I do appreciate others opinions, however when it comes down to nasty comments it makes me want to disregard the response. Thank you for the responses that relate to my question and thank you to the others who explained their opinions to why they thought theses types of registries were a bad idea, without being so angry about it.

Our families and friends were actually the ones who suggested a honeymoon registry because we did not register for many material items.

Be happy ladies we are all almost brides to be or have just become a new wife.

rjs71487 · May 2010

For all the people with comments about being greedy and your guests thinking your tacky, your guests are your family and closest friends. I am sure that those closest to you will understand that you already have the material items that you need and that this is still a way for them to be able to give you something -- even if it is something you will do on your honeymoon. My fiance and I are going to do the same thing and we have both spoken to our parents about the idea to see how they thought people would react to the idea. Our parents were super excited about it and know that we don't need anymore stuff to clutter our house. We are also doing a normal registry for those who have a problem with the honeymoon registry. Remember -- in the end these people love you and will understand you aren't trying to be greedy but that you want them to give you something you will actually use. Just make sure you tell them that!

LeighPA · May 2010

[QUOTE]I think it is good for brides to realize that they don't have to <strong>be polite</strong>
Posted by flutgrl1[/QUOTE]
There. I fixed that for you. Since, you know, that was what you were really saying.

flutgrl1 · May 2010

um seriously. lame!

flutgrl1 · May 2010

I've never heard anyone talk about how cool it was that so and so registered for towels. I have only heard positive comments in many circles about HM registries. The only place I have heard them bad mouthed is here.

RJS you are so right.

Honestly sending cash before the wedding even if it costs me a fee is all good by me. Convenient and simple.

And since I know now that people might return my gift for cash, well then I am glad I am giving them something they will use as is!

And whoever was saying this kind of registry removes choice. Um how...you still get to CHOOSE how much to give. No different than picking out a cheap or expensive gift.

klm03013 · May 2010

It seems to me like the author of this post is looking for specifics about these two websites in order to find out if they are reputable and easy to use. She didn't ask if people agree with them, even if the phrasing of the original question may be a bit vague when asking for thoughts...I got the impression that she meant thoughts specifically related to the reputation of those two websites for people who are looking for a HM registry option. While I know people are trying to be helpful and possibly prevent a fellow bride from committing what they think is a faux pas, there are plenty of other posts already up there to dissuade girls from cash or honeymoon registries. While I am on the fence on the whole topic, I still think that people shouldn't be insulted on either side. I would not be offended if I were attending a wedding for a bride who registered at Honeyfund.com, nor would I be offended if she preferred material gifts. It is all up to the bride and what she feels comfortable with and thinks is appropriate.

After all, I think my friend is making a huge faux pas by wearing a bridal gown with a see through bodice, but I plan to keep my mouth shut on it unless she asks my honest opinion

JanoBean75 · May 2010

I think you should plan and have a honeymoon you can afford, not depend on your guests to pay for it. Can't afford it now? Save up and do it later. Asking for cash on any level is rude. Don't want more stuff? Don't register anywhere. As a PP said, your guests will get the hint.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2010

I've definitely sen negative comments about honeymoon registries IRL.

Unlike towels (where you register for a specific brand and color), cash is one thing - cash. You don't need to tell people what KIND of cash you want. It's all good. It's also known to be a welcome gift, so there's no need to register for it. People will give it to you if they want to!

Ourwishingwell or Honeyfund? Has anyone used these to register with?

Re: Ourwishingwell or Honeyfund? Has anyone used these to register with?

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