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First Time MOH, Looking Forward to Chatting!

chchchcherrybombchchchcherrybomb member
10 Comments
in Moms and Maids
Hi, everyone. I'm going to be a MOH in my best friend's wedding soon (she doesn't have a date yet). I've never been a MOH before and I'm really, really excited! She is one of the most important people in my life (other than my SO and our kids) and I am thrilled that I get to stand up there with her. 

Anyway, I'm hoping to get some ideas and advice on being a MOH and talking to others who are going through the same things. Look forward to chatting! 
You're so rad, more rad than my dad If you were a fabric you'd be plaid Everybody knows plaid is so rad I think about you and I go mad You're so rad

~The Bouncing Souls

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Re: First Time MOH, Looking Forward to Chatting!

  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Welcome! It's great that you're excited to be in your friend's wedding.

    I would probably decide how involved you'd like to be, if at all. Realize that you don't HAVE to help her plan or throw parties or showers. I would probably see if those are things you WANT to do and go from there. If you would like to help out, since it's so early, I would probably tell her, "Let me know if you need help at all" and leave the invitation open while she's planning. But don't feel bad if you can't or don't want to be involved.


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  • FluffyGumDrop2FluffyGumDrop2 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    edited August 2012
    I agree with the previous poster that you should understand first and foremost, you are only expected/required to show up sober on the wedding day in your dress. Everything else you WANT to do is extra and a nice gesture to the bride.

    When it comes time to order bridesmaid dresses the bride should ask you each privately what your budget is and then find a dress that works for everyone. If she's requiring specific shoes, hair, etc then the bride should be responsible for it. Not trying to sound like a debbie downer and imply the bride will do anything rude or pushy, but sometimes brides get a little carried way so I just wanted you to have a basic understanding of what you're expected to do in case it gets out of hand. Some brides aren't happy with the casual bachelorette and expect the weekend in Vegas blow out; don't feel guilty if you have to say no to anything that pushes you out of your financial comfort zone. 

    That said, feel free to consider if you want to host a bridal shower later, (normally within a month of the wedding date), bachelorette party ideas, and whether you want to help with various tasks: invitations, favors, etc. Don't feel like you have to do any of these, it's all optional and if you're hosting you set the budget and guest number. Keep in mind also to not invite anyone to any pre-wedding events (shower&bach) if they are not invited to the wedding; it's considered rude. The other bridesmaids might not be able to help as much so try not to feel disappointed if that happens. 

    You sound like a great friend and I'm sure you'll help your friend have a great wedding.
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Come on over to the Wedding Party Board also!!
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  • chchchcherrybombchchchcherrybomb member
    10 Comments
    Thank you for the warm welcome all, and I appreciate the advice! I've never been in a wedding before, or even helped planned one (but I've been to several), so I welcome every bit of it! 
    You're so rad, more rad than my dad If you were a fabric you'd be plaid Everybody knows plaid is so rad I think about you and I go mad You're so rad

    ~The Bouncing Souls

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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_first-time-moh-looking-forward-to-chatting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6dce3556-cfdb-4c92-912a-9fdf860020d8Post:e984cc5c-ad0f-4e60-bd8f-969ccddaefbe">Re: First Time MOH, Looking Forward to Chatting!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you for the warm welcome all, and I appreciate the advice! I've never been in a wedding before, or even helped planned one (but I've been to several), so I welcome every bit of it! 
    Posted by chchchcherrybomb[/QUOTE]

    First bit of advice is that you won't have any part of the wedding planning.  That is up to the B&G.  If you volunteer to help with anything, great but it is not required and any help would not constitute planning.
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  • walgrrlwalgrrl member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Hi and welcome!  It's very nice that you are so excited and happy.  The two of you must be very good friends.

    I agree with everything everyone said.  If you do decide you want to help the bride with wedding-related tasks (and keep in mind you don't have to, this is if you want to), it would probably be a good idea to be specific with her about what you would like to help with. 

    My MOH is excited (which I love!) and really wants me to give her something wedding-related to do, but so far I've had trouble coming up with something.  If you have a specific idea of anything you would like to do, it would be great to bring it up to her and see if she wants help in that area.

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