HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!!

seltzerkayla · January 2013

my fiancee and I are planning our September 2013 wedding. This is my issue... I have no idea how to word my invites. I am having a big ceremony in which everyone will be invited. My reception however will be smaller just for my friends. I am not close with my family and neither is my fiancee but we want them to be a part of our wedding thats why they are all invited to the ceremony. But our reception is for us and we want to enjoy ourselves therefore it will be for our friends and very close family only. How should I word my separate invitations???? please help!! Thanks for reading.

Jen4948 · January 2013

What you're planning is rude. All guests invited to the ceremony need to be invited to the reception-it can't be smaller than the ceremony.

AddieCake · January 2013

It is terribly rude to invite people to your ceremony and not your reception. The reception, where you RECEIVE your guests, is a thank you to the guests for attending the wedding ceremony. You need to host SOME kind of reception, even if it is just cake and punch. If you want to go out later and celebrate with friends, then do that, but that is not your reception.

seltzerkayla · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_help-wording-invites-for-non-traditional-separate-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:89ce6728-4864-47c1-867d-2aba4d64a7a4Post:1ae07ba7-326e-4b66-8fd8-c34dd5862803">Re: HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]What you're planning is rude. All guests invited to the ceremony need to be invited to the reception-it can't be smaller than the ceremony.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

I wouldnt say its rude, I dont expect gifts from anyone. Not to mention its MY wedding and including my family in the sentimental part of it and not the part in which they will be uncomfortable I wouldnt call that rude at all. I know plenty of people who have separate ceremonies and receptions and non of them have been called rude. But thanks for your opinion :)

AddieCake · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_help-wording-invites-for-non-traditional-separate-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:89ce6728-4864-47c1-867d-2aba4d64a7a4Post:cd5936e4-8f90-4af2-b71d-5e1e165e793e">Re: HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!! : I wouldnt say its rude, I dont expect gifts from anyone. Not to mention its MY wedding and including my family in the sentimental part of it and not the part in which they will be uncomfortable I wouldnt call that rude at all. I know plenty of people who have separate ceremonies and receptions and non of them have been called rude. But thanks for your opinion :)
Posted by seltzerkayla[/QUOTE]

<div>Gifts are not relevant to this discussion. It IS rude not to host SOME kind of reception to thank your guests for coming to your wedding ceremony. Period. If your family is uncomfortable coming to your reception, they don't have to attend, but you still need to INVITE them to it. It may be YOUR wedding, but the moment you invite people to it, it stops being only about you. </div>

MissMeghan80 · January 2013

Could you explain the reasoning behind a seperate ceremony and reception? I'm a little confused.

B2Z728 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_help-wording-invites-for-non-traditional-separate-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:89ce6728-4864-47c1-867d-2aba4d64a7a4Post:dac0ec1e-4289-429c-ab51-ba25ab53d0c9">HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]my fiancee and I are planning our September 2013 wedding. This is my issue... I have no idea how to word my invites. I am having a big ceremony in which everyone will be invited. My reception however will be smaller just for my friends. I am not close with my family and neither is my fiancee but we want them to be a part of our wedding thats why they are all invited to the ceremony. <strong><span style="text-decoration:underline;" class="Apple-style-span">But our reception is for us</span></strong> and we want to enjoy ourselves therefore it will be for our friends and very close family only. How should I word my separate invitations???? please help!! Thanks for reading.
Posted by seltzerkayla[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Contrary to some people's beliefs, your reception is for your guests. Not a party for the bride and groom. It is to thank your guests for coming to witness your ceremony. If you want an intimate reception, you need to also have an intimate ceremony.

</div>

AddieCake · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_help-wording-invites-for-non-traditional-separate-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:89ce6728-4864-47c1-867d-2aba4d64a7a4Post:e6315557-889d-4f70-8743-fbb9f3116ea2">Re: HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Could you explain the reasoning behind a seperate ceremony and reception? I'm a little confused.
Posted by MissMeghan80[/QUOTE]

<div>Meghan, she says they are not close to their families but think they should be invited to the wedding ceremony (because they are family, I assume), but then she only wants to have her CLOSE family and friends at the reception b/c she wants to enjoy herself. So what I'm hearing is she is inviting family out of obligation but is only willing to hang out (reception)with the people she really wants there. </div>

seltzerkayla · January 2013

The reason for having them separately is due to conflicts of families among other issues. My ceremony will have drinks and hourderves for our families and friends, we are going to spend a few hours with them as well. Its not just come watch us take our vows and leave so before you all start jumping to conclusions maybe try and see things from the other perspective especially considering you have NO idea what our situation is. And to save all of the drama I could just say its not a reception its simply a party for my friends.We are having a hippie/ Festival gathering and our families would be more hurt and offended if they came and were made a part of things they believe against very strongly. I am not making my family come all the way out just to see vows. They will be fed and have drinks and have an opportunity to visit. I will not put them in a situation that would make them uncomfortable and I know they would be if they came to my "party".

AddieCake · January 2013

See, you need to explain that. Your RECEPTON is the drinks and hors d'oevres, and that is fine, as long as it is not at a mealtime. But your OP indicated nothing of the sort. The party later is just an after party and is also perfectly fine. I would just use word of mouth for that. That's what we did for ours. Our ceremony was in the morning, and then much later that night we went out to a bar and told everyone what we were doing and that they were welcome to join us if they liked.

seltzerkayla · January 2013

Nothing illegal just conflicts of religeous beliefs among families.

s-aries8990 · January 2013

Yeah, seltzer, you didn't have a clear post at all. We can only jump to conclusion because we aren't given the full picture. How can we see your perspective when you don't give it to us?

So, what I'm getting is that there will be
-ceremony
- cocktail reception at a non meal time
- after party - hopefully some meal involved

Don't do invites for the after party because that is indicitive of a tiered reception, which is what we assumed you were planning on by your OP. Just use word of mouth

melicifant · January 2013

You are the bride. Do what you feel is right.
I had a beautiful wedding ceremony with a cake and punch reception afterwards.
I then had a party afterwards for a select group of people. We rented a few beach houses for the weekend and had an amazing party for 3 days. .
I made an invitation that went to everyone. I added a "reception" card (the reception nazis can call it whatever they want) to invite the other people to the beach houses in the same envelope.

loca4pook · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_help-wording-invites-for-non-traditional-separate-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:89ce6728-4864-47c1-867d-2aba4d64a7a4Post:cd5936e4-8f90-4af2-b71d-5e1e165e793e">Re: HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!! : I wouldnt say its rude, I dont expect gifts from anyone. Not to mention its MY wedding and including my family in the sentimental part of it and not the part in which they will be uncomfortable I wouldnt call that rude at all. I know plenty of people who have separate ceremonies and receptions and non of them have been called rude. But thanks for your opinion :)
Posted by seltzerkayla[/QUOTE]

But is IS rude....They might give gifts if they come to the ceremony..Basically, you are saying "I like you enough to come to the FREE part, but not enough to spend money on you to feed you". That is INCREDIBLY rude..

Furthermore, how do you think they will feel when they find out OTHERS get to go to the reception? hurt...

loca4pook · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_help-wording-invites-for-non-traditional-separate-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:89ce6728-4864-47c1-867d-2aba4d64a7a4Post:5302cfa5-ef42-434b-ae3d-a02625eb26fa">Re: HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!! : Why would you not enjoy yourself with these other people? If you don't want them at the reception, don't invite them at all.
Posted by Edie Bee[/QUOTE]

Agree totally. If you don't like them, I would guess you should't invite them to EITHER part......Your ceremony is the more important part anyhow so why would you want people you dislike at the more important part??@? Any of us can tell you why...You don't want so spend MONEY on them.....that is where it make it extremely rude

DizDiz&Grim · March 2014

Hey now, /I/ have been to two weddings where I wasn't invited to the reception! They did a little juice and cookies mingle afterwards, before the couple went for pictures.

MyNameIsNot · March 2014

DizDiz&Grim said:

Hey now, /I/ have been to two weddings where I wasn't invited to the reception! They did a little juice and cookies mingle afterwards, before the couple went for pictures.

I'm sorry that people were so rude to you, but that is no reason to zombie a thread.

hyechica81 · March 2014

rude rude rude what if i was part of your family and you decided umm maybe she wont want to go to the party party and only invited me for punch drinks and appitizers, then i see someone else from our family going to this other party i would feel upset and jilted

a wedding is a wedding everyone needs to be invited to everything when my reception is done we are annoucing an after party at the local country bar down the road.

you say peoples beliefs are stuff would make them uncomfortable, i dont think it would beacuse you are inviting them to your wedding and they have to respect where and when it is

photokitty · March 2014

@knotporscha zombie

HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!!

Re: HELP Wording invites for non-traditional separate Ceremony and Reception!!!!!!!!!!

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