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Wedding Party
meg65
member
What do SOs of the WP do?
While some of our WP are single, we have a couple members who are in relationships or will otherwise be bringing dates. I'm sort of wondering what the dates of the WP will do while the WP is doing WP things.
For example: I was worried about what my (groomsman) brother's girlfriend would do the day of the wedding while we are doing pictures. I will obviously seat WP members with their dates at the reception, but she won't really know anyone besides my family, who will be doing pictures, and she is somewhat shy (I think, anyway). We will likely include her in some family pictures, but probably not shots of the whole party. Then I realized all our WP dates won't know anyone.
Should they tag along with us for pictures? Should I try to hook them up with other guests I think they'll get along with? Or am I just worrying too much and should assume that because they are adults they know how to handle themselves socially? I just want to make sure everyone has a good time.
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Re: What do SOs of the WP do?
My FH was just in his best friend's wedding where I did not know anyone. My FH introduced me to a few of the other groomsmen's wives/significant others before the wedding so I had people to sit with and talk to before he went off to the WP things. You could do the same. If they don't know anyone else they will at least know each other and hopefully have a few things in common to keep them company while the wedding party is off doing their thing. It is very sweet of you to want to make sure everyone has a good time. I am the same way.
I would not worry about it too much, but I think that you are super sweet for wanting them to feel comfortable. Like pps I know what if feels like to be the SO and lost in a sea of strangers.
If you are having a rehearsal dinner, I would make sure to introduce SOs at that time. If your brother/GM knows any of the other WP members, perhaps you could have him introduce his girlfriend as well. If you are having pictures taken before the wedding, then chances are the SO guests will find each other anyway.
At a wedding I went to, the signifcant others went to the reception immediately after the ceremony and waited at the wedding party's table.
So really, whatever they're comfortable with.
The very first time I met all of my FI's friends was at a wedding. He was in the wedding party, so I met a bunch of the party and their SOs the night before at the rehearsal dinner. A few of the girlfriends invited me to get ready with them the next day, while FI took pictures before the wedding. I think if you have a few ladies who are your groomsmen's dates take her under their wing you should be fine. If not, then she can accompany the party during the pictures - maybe have her in a few pics with family as well.
At our wedding the SOs of our WP hung out during picture taking time. Your photographer will want to get your WP pics done, so they can move on to the cocktail hour. At which point, the SOs will go with them.
At the reception, don't split up couples. Don't make your WP sit separately from their SOs who are not in the WP.
Like PPs said, it's nice that you're thinking of them.
Really hard. But I wanna do that because I want you
- all of you, you and me, every day. Forever."
One of the other GM's girlfriends on the other hand had to come at 1PM with her BF (they lived much farther), and she was not even allowed in the venue because the B&G are assholes and said they wanted it to be WP only, so she had to wait in the car. Then she had to sit by herself during the ceremony (obviously she expected that), she didn't know anyone during the cocktail hour while they were taking even more pictures, and had to sit away from her BF during all the spotlight dances and dinner as well. The only remotely polite thing the B&G did was sit her at a table with the rest of the GM's dates, so we tried our best to make her feel included, she was a really nice girl and I felt so bad for her.
I'd say at the very least, allow their dates to tag along while you are doing group pictures (they don't need to be in the pics obviously, but at least they can be there and talk with their SO in between shots and stuff). Other than that, I think introducing them to everyone else at the RD is a good idea because that can at least bridge that gap while they are occupied with pictures.
For the rehearsal itself and photos, provide as precise a schedule as you can, and let them know they can wait or be elsewhere. If possible, maybe provide a quiet spot where they can read a novel or whatever. We're doing a long rehearsal (complicated ceremony) and all photos in the very traditional church, and I can see someone being shy about reading a novel or playing a video game in the church, though the members of the church really don't care, as long as it's not during a service.
The other SOs can just hang out with the rest of the guests when they need to. If the BMs have to arrive early, their partners can just plan on arriving in time for the ceremony. And there shouldn't be THAT many times during the wedding that the BP are occupied in specific tasks, right? After the ceremony, they'll basically be doing the same things as the other guests.