Dear New Coworker #1,
Today is the end of our fiscal year. We work in a financial department. That means today is a hugely important and busy day! Ive been at this job for 2 years and am the fastest processors in the office...you have been here a month and are slower than a snail (not that its entirely your fault b/c youre new and not wanting to make a mistake). However, I am ahead of schedule for what I need to get done for today so I can take a 5 min break to check on my Knottie girls and still be ahead of everyone else. You cant! Right now your assignment is to stuff checks so I can process, then you need to help with the processing. Its boring, but necessary. Theres a reason they gave you that job today instead of me. You have no reason to be touching a computer so PLEASE tell your kids you cant talk, get off facebook, check your bank acct when it actually matters what you have in it (like oh I dunno, before you go shopping), and car shop on your own flipping time!
Youre 30 days into a 90 day probation period. I dont want be that b!tch but if you dont get your a$$ moving and I get screwed into picking up your slack, Ill blow your a$$ in without hesitation. Id rather do more work b/c the position is empty than b/c your f'ing lazy.
Love,
I sit next to you and can still see yoooou!
People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
Re: Dear...
Yes, I heard you ask me how married life is going. As Ive already told #1, its a really busy day and we have a boat load to get done. I know you saw me ignore you and turn up the volume on my music, so dont f'ing tap my shoulder and ask me again about my marriage. After next week well have a 2 week dead period, ask me then.
Love,
Sick of the new coworkers
People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
You have anger issues.
NOW GET BACK TO WORK!!!
Love,
Your obnoxiously sarcastic fellow Knottie w/ a sick sense of humor
Moi!
Miss Mrs. New & Improved Blog Chart
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monica & kevin married 5.28.11
bfp 8.11.11 - m/c 8.17.11
bfp 11.11.11 - edd 7.25.12
People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica