Chit Chat

Has This Happened to Anyone Else?

A client came in today while I was working to pick up her dog .  She asked me when my wedding is, & I told her, & mentioned  how excited I am.

She then went off on a mini-tangent about how she has never seen the point of marriage, & thinks that it is a stupid, outdated institution.  And this isn't the first time; this otherwise very nice woman does this EVERY TIME she picks up her dog & I'm there.   Add to all this that she cannot remember my name to save her life, but remembers that I'm getting married, & it actually becomes kind of funny.

Several other people have made similar comments to me, some of them suggesting that I'm foolish for even wanting to get married.  My view is, if you feel that way it's fine, but don't rub it in my face when you know I'm getting married!  It's frustrating.  Has anyone else run into this??  Just curious!

Re: Has This Happened to Anyone Else?

  • A co-worker of mine said something similar. She is divorced and I can tell marriage is a sensitive topic for her personally. I just don't speak about any wedding plans and keep information minimal when she asks.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • My old boss made rather rude comments to me. . but he's a douche anyways and when I quit I told his wife what all he'd said and that he really needed to grow a pair. . .

    People have their own comments and ideas, its human nature. All you can do is smile and nod. Only you and your FI know the reasons of why you two are getting married and thats what counts.

    Also remember that some like to bring others down when they themselves are down, but a positive comment can turn them around! :o)

    That is however, very obnoxious. .  Good luck!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Just respond, "Wow, it's a good thing you aren't the one getting married, then."  I've gotten it from a few people, but I don't take it personally.  Everyone has their own views on marriage and I wouldn't expect to change their minds any more than I'd expect them to be able to change mine.  Just ignore it.

    I think the funniest thing I've heard so far is that I shouldn't marry FI because he doesn't make much money and I won't get anything in the divorce.
    image

    Stop The Drama!

    image Love people. Use things. Never confuse the two.
  • Maybe they're telling you that because they're either in a bad marriage, had a bad marriage experience, or they're jealous.

    Just tell them that's nice and then say you've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and leave it at that.


    We got married! Now if we could just remember what happened... Visit The Knot!
    Bio
    Blog & DIY
  • Ditto rien713 . One of my FI's co-workers is like that. He went through a bitter divorce and since his ex-wife was a loser (he blames her for how their daughter turned out bc she had custody of her), he is anti-marriage. However, when we have went to lunch or whatever, he never mentions it to me, which is a good thing. But he has told my FI a few times. We both just let it roll off of our backs. The other thing is that in society today, marriage is not seen as the right thing to do with everyone screwing everyone and having kids willy nilly. I am not trying to be mean here, bc if that works for some people, that is fine, but it just doesn't work for us and our beliefs.
  • kee80kee80 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_this-happened-anyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0c298ba-cbdd-4977-9e5c-130176985411Post:3fdc1062-7d70-467c-8a73-2abaf709c430">Re: Has This Happened to Anyone Else?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think the funniest thing I've heard so far is that I shouldn't marry FI because he doesn't make much money and I won't get anything in the divorce.
    Posted by lisarose7[/QUOTE]

    WOW.  That's awful, and yet bizzarly hilarious.
  • I have a picture of me & my hubby @ my desk,and every once in awhile i will get a cust that says "oh i see you just got married,why in the world would you do that".i just ignore it you cant let those things bother you,only you and your fi know the reasons you are getting married & they are just jealous
  • Don't worry last night my FI & I went of to his brothers house & one of their old buddies came over.I've never met this guy before & my FI introduces me  and says 'This is my future wife Heather. We're getting married in four months" now he says it to this guy very happily. The guy in return says 'Get out now while you can!" I was right there!! How rude was that lol. I just laughed about it. MY FI says alot of guys tell him that. And I've had a few women tell me not to do it too. I just laugh it off because it is quite funny. They're either joking or they'remissing out on something wonderful in their life.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • kee80kee80 member
    100 Comments
    At a certain point, it just became kind of funny.  I just find it odd & hilarious that people feel they absolutely MUST share their horror stories with me.  Oh well!
  • my FI is a cop and almost all of his co-workers are anti-marriage. There is one in particular who is a womanizing bum hole in my opinion who keeps saying "You're so stupid for getting engaged". A little back story, FI was engaged but broke it off and we got engaged fairly quickly after we started dating. This guy's words were "I'm happy for you but I think you're an idiot" uhhh thanks a lot! Might I also add, that they all hated FI's ex and like me yet still think he's stupid for wanting to get married. He has told him "I spent 10 years trying to find what I found in Leeanne in 10 months".

    I have also been told to "run while I can" especially since FI is a cop and everyone thinks he's either going to get hurt, cheat on me, or neglect me because he works so much. Sadly, I have been told this by my own family. I kindly have to explain that I know what I'm getting myself into but thanks for the concern.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I work at a hotel and I get it all the time! we have tons of employees that always have to comment on how much it will cost, it drives me insane. I wont in our function department and plan weddings & control wedding blocks. I have also had other brides ask me where my recetion is and then reply with "oh you couldnt afford ___________" always refurring to their high priced venue. My venue is one of the least expensive but hey sorry I live in a wedding destination & am not having a destination wedding
  • Ha, yeah people tell me that all the time. How weddings and marriage is out dated and stuff. It's aggravating. I'm still not sure how to respond to it.
  • My FFIL hates the idea of marriage for anyone, but especially his son. He seems a bit paranoid that I'm just going to divorce FI and clean him out, which is beyond annoying since he mentions it every time I see him.

    But FI and I realized that we have been dating for longer than any of his father's marriages lasted, so screw it. We are happy with our decision. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I've definitely come across some people who share that attitude, but not since becoming engaged.

    I mean, there are plenty of things I don't agree with or think is stupid and I'm not going to make it a point to ask someone about something and then go off on an unnecessary tirade.  Haha, what a piece of work!
    panther
  • I've heard it before mostly from people who have been divorced 2 or more times.  The exception is my aunt who has been married 4 times and loves getting married, it always makes for fun conversation.  No one can be as happy as you are for your wedding, but the people that are telling you/us to be careful actually have a point, you don't want to enter into marriage without knowing past history,  financial history etc.  
  • tkbethtkbeth member
    First Comment
    Yes this has happened to me and my thoughts are the same!  If marriage isn;t foryou that;s perfectly fine it's your decision...however don't talk about it with someone who is clearly planning a wedding!!   
  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    edited May 2010
    I had a co-worker who would constantly tell me on a weekly basis from the time I got engaged to about 2 weeks before the wedding "I don't see why you had to waste all your money, instead of going to a courthouse. Most people your age get divorced anyway".

    As annoying as it was, I tried to remember to take it with a grain of salt. This same woman had 2 failed marriages under her belt. She pretty much thinks any age is a "prime" age for getting divorced, lol.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
    image

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • I had an old guy friend of mine LIVID I was getting married.  How people change and it is unrealistic to expect the man I marry to be the same in 10 years.  How women think the only change that will happen is what they want because every woman gets married expecting a man to change something.  It's an archaic practice and he USED to think I was a smart girl, but obviously I am not. And on and on and on.

    Guess who just got engaged...
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • One of my mom's friends said "Go to the JOP! The divorce is going to cost you more than the wedding anyway!" As I was introducing her to FI. One of the few times in my life I have ever wanted to just open-hand slap somebody.

    I haven't met a single person, not ONE, that works with me, who has only been married once. And I work for a huge corporation with 70+ people in my group alone.
    They always say, "oh, I remember on my first honeymoon with my ex..." or "well, mine didn't work out, but i'm sure yours will be great!...." followed by an uncomfortable silence. Yes, yes it will be great, thankyouverymuch.
    A coworker who doesn't talk to me often stopped by last week to tell me he was splitting up with his wife. I said, "that's interesting news to give me three weeks before my wedding." I couldn't help myself. Why would you even do that?
    Also have to love the disingenuous and uncertain-sounding "oh, well, good luck with that."

    We're just two lost souls swimmin' in a fish bowl, year after year
  • kee80kee80 member
    100 Comments
    Yesterday I was introduced to one of FI's co-workers.  The guy eyed me up & down, & when FI went to the washroom, leaned into me & whispered "If it ever doesn't work out, you let me know".  Ewwwwww. 
     
    I'm just glad I'm not the only one getting this!
  • Yeah, I've had this happen to me quite a few times. This from jaded people, married people, single people, the whole lot. The most common one isn't that marriage is silly, but that weddings are silly and a huge waste of money. My response? Thanks for sharing your opinions with me! So glad we don't share them otherwise I'd feel pretty silly about wasting all my money on something so ridiculous."!
    Nov 2010 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Fictional Couple
    Photobucket
    image 282 Invited
    image 198 Making the Party!
    image 56 Staying at home :(
    image 28 Slow-pokes
    RSVP Date: November 5, 2010
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We're getting married in less than two weeks; I was at my Dad's house yesterday, and he told me multiple times, including saying it in front of our photographer, that "it's not too late to change your mind". He even went so far as to tell me that "it's okay to live in sin". He's been giving me a hard time about it since we got engaged, telling me he doesn't want me to make a mistake, and it's not too late to back out, and a few months ago he even offered me money to not get married. I've had other, random people make comments about marriage being a mistake, but hearing it from my Dad is definitely the worst for me.

    My FI has also gotten it from almost all of his guy friends, which bothers me since they are my friends, too, and they're telling him that marriage ruins relationships. Thanks guys, love you too. Ugh.
    image
  • kee80kee80 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_this-happened-anyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0c298ba-cbdd-4977-9e5c-130176985411Post:5b72858e-69d1-4137-a3fc-24461aa246bd">Re: Has This Happened to Anyone Else?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, I've had this happen to me quite a few times. This from jaded people, married people, single people, the whole lot. The most common one isn't that marriage is silly, but that weddings are silly and a huge waste of money. My response? Thanks for sharing your opinions with me! So glad we don't share them otherwise I'd feel pretty silly about wasting all my money on something so ridiculous."!
    Posted by leoraanna[/QUOTE]
    That's awesome.  I may borrow that comeback from you!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards