Checks? Nope, no checks. (vent)

pockysquirrel · March 2012

Here's something that's been bugging me lately, especially when I see everyone else posting about the things they've gotten done. Does anyone else feel like their checks are being...for lack of a better word, thwarted? Like, I called my venue to see about setting up a tasting and was told that they usually do theirs about 2 months before the wedding. So EVERYTHING that goes along with that - food, signature cocktail, cake, linen color and other decor - I don't get to figure out until AUGUST! Then I started looking for a seamstress to do the alterations on my gown and got the same answer - she doesn't even want to see the dress until 2 months before the wedding, max, due to the possibility of weight changes etc. that would effect the fit of the dress over a longer period of time. So again. August. Am I wrong to feel nervous and frustrated about this? I feel like I'm trying to get stuff done ahead of time, but can't get anywhere because my time frame is not the same as my vendors'. I get why they want to do it that way, and I trust them enough to have things done in time. I just feel like I'm being set up for a whole mountain of stress to get dumped on me once the wedding gets closer.

pockysquirrel · March 2012

Ugh, the new TK mobile version is killing me here. Sorry for the lack of paragraphs, I'll edit once I'm back on a real computer. Edit: Fixed. Hopefully.

achiduck · March 2012

My venue doesn't normally do tastings until about 4 months out, so we'll have to wait for June for that. I took my dress to the seamstress just so she could look at it and give me a price quote, but again she won't start alterations until August.

Can you call your venue and explain that you really want to get the menu sorted out sooner since you'll need to know some of the info to get your menu cards done, etc?

mrshall1027 · March 2012

I would ask my venue to make an exception on the tasting. I would not be comfortable with that at all. My venue also said they wouldn't do the tasting until 4 months out, but I was able to get them to do it with us last month. We will have another one in the next month or so because we were torn between what we already tasted and another option.

As for your dress, maybe you can do what achiduck did. But, unless you are doing major alterations to your dress, then I would wait until 6-8 weeks before the wedding.

pockysquirrel · March 2012

In Response to Re:Checks? Nope, no checks. vent:[QUOTE]Can you call your venue and explain that you really want to get the menu sorted out sooner since you'll need to know some of the info to get your menu cards done, etc? Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

They do the menu cards themselves, and guests order onsite at the reception so I wouldn't have to put meal choice on my RSVP cards.

pockysquirrel · March 2012

In Response to Re:Checks? Nope, no checks. vent:[QUOTE]I would ask my venue to make an exception on the tasting. nbsp;I would not be comfortable with that at all. nbsp;My venue also said they wouldn't do the tasting until 4 months out, but I was able to get them to do it with us last month. nbsp;We will have another one in the next month or so because we were torn between what we already tasted and another option.As for your dress, maybe you can do what achiduck did. nbsp;But, unless you are doing major alterations to your dress, then I would wait until 68 weeks before the wedding. Posted by ystaalenburg[/QUOTE]

Hmm...if you had success with that, maybe I'll give it a go. It doesn't necessarily have to be THAT much sooner, just...sooner than August, LOL. I'm not having anything major done to the dress. It just needs to be taken in a little and a bustle added, and it may need to be shortened depending on how high my shoes are.

brainybrunette · March 2012

That seems weird that they wait until 2 months before to do the tasting...you're getting married at the Century House, right?

Then again, the Hall of Springs charges $75 per person to do a tasting...so we're not doing one at all : ( I'm not too concerned, I've had their food before and it's absolutely delicious, I just wanted the free dinner LOL! I think we're supposed to have an appointment with HOS in April to finalize our menu choices.

Are you still looking for a seamstress? I might have one for you! I bought my dress at Lily Saratoga, but they don't do alterations there. They recommended a seamstress in Saratoga, and I contacted her last week. She told me that she would like me to have my first fitting by late July at the latest, but we can start alterations at any time. I typically stay about the same size, but I'm going to hold off until June because I live in Rochester and my trips home right now are filled with other wedding related things. I can give you her contact information if you'd like. The name of her business is Silk Threads.

jsarver14 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_checks-nope-no-checks-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:b11af724-62e8-4a62-83a4-10b46f541407Post:41f9d6dd-c4da-4a90-973b-b46e7dbe1215">Re: Checks? Nope, no checks. (vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]That seems weird that they wait until 2 months before to do the tasting...you're getting married at the Century House, right? Then again, the Hall of Springs <strong>charges $75 per person to do a tasting</strong>...so we're not doing one at all : ( I'm not too concerned, I've had their food before and it's absolutely delicious, I just wanted the free dinner LOL! I think we're supposed to have an appointment with HOS in April to finalize our menu choices. Are you still looking for a seamstress? I might have one for you! I bought my dress at Lily Saratoga, but they don't do alterations there. They recommended a seamstress in Saratoga, and I contacted her last week. She told me that she would like me to have my first fitting by late July at the latest, but we can start alterations at any time. I typically stay about the same size, but I'm going to hold off until June because I live in Rochester and my trips home right now are filled with other wedding related things. I can give you her contact information if you'd like. The name of her business is Silk Threads.
Posted by Nic12184[/QUOTE]

Your venue is charging you $75/person to do a tasting after you're spending money on food/drinks/renting the venue? That's absurd to me. I would refuse to 1. pay for this or 2. pick a menu without tasting the options.

I'm a stickler about time and getting things done ahead of schedule. I've been lucky with my venues/vendors allowing us to get things done early. I have my tasting next month on the 14th and my first dress fitting is July 7th (as I've lost a ton of weight and want to make sure my dress will actually fit). I would just talk to your venues/vendors. In my opinion, you booked with them and you're kind of running the show. I'm not saying they should bend over backwards to accommodate people, but I don't feel that asking to do things early should be that big of a deal.

brainybrunette · March 2012

Yes, I think it's ridiculous. I questioned this policy at our first meeting. The answer I got was "we know our food is the best in the area and we stand by it, tastings are time consuming and that's why we charge for it". It sounds really snotty (I was kind of pissed off), but they do have amazing food and are the best in the area. We're not doing the tasting because I could use that $150 for other things. I've had their food before, it's amazing! So I'm not concerned about the quality of the food at all. This has been the only annoying thing about our venue.

They did have a group tasting day a few months ago that was free for brides and grooms. I guess they make a bunch of dishes and serve them buffet style to a bunch of their brides and grooms (our wedding will have a plated meal). However, we live 3 hours away and could not go that day.

lenergyrlah · March 2012

I haven't even started looking for an alterations person yet since I might gain/lose some weight over the summer. I also haven't picked out my shoes yet so I wouldn't know how much to get the dress hemmed.

It kinda sucks about the tasting although you'll still be able to have it two months before the wedding, and honestly I think that's enough time. I'm still trying to figure out my engagement pictures!

pockysquirrel · March 2012

Nic - Yes, we are using Century House. I guess that's just how they do things there? One tasting/planning meeting a couple months out and everything gets decided at once. IDK. That SUCKS about your venue making you pay for tastings! Mine will be free for FI and I, but they do charge for parents or anyone else who's tagging along. And thank you for the seamstress rec! I had been looking at Nitaya Custom Sewing since someone recced them on our local board, but it's nice to have an alternative. I'll definitely be giving yours a call.

lenergyriah - I haven't gotten my e-pics done yet either, so don't feel bad! We're still hammering that out...probably going to get them done next month or early May.

Simply_Caitlin · March 2012

Our venue does the tastings either 1 or 2 months prior, but I told them that from April-December is the most hectic time for work for my fiance and I so they told us we could do it asap. Try talking to them, they already know they have your money so they might (and should be) more willing to work around your schedule.

RockstarWifey0912 · March 2012

Thankfully, I have a friend doing alterations- but she says the same thing. 'Do NOT bring it to me until September 1st!" Um, OK lady... but dang.

Our venue is hosting our ceremony as well, but they won't do anything until July or August as far as food goes. Grrrr.

I feel antsy, even though things are getting done.... they're just getting done sloooooooowly.

DeannaCW · March 2012

Heck the only reason I'm as far along as I am is our wedding got pushed back 5 months! By 7 months from original date (late May), all I had done was booked church and reception hall (all-inclusive, hadn't selected options yet), ordered dress, booked photographer, and asked bridesmaids. Of course closer to 6 months we had to cram a bunch into 2 weeks as FI was in town, so did taste testing, rings, engagement photos, honeymoon booking, DJ, and I'm sure some other stuff. It can be stressful, but just go with your gut and don't analyse too much (my personal downfall) and the decisions tend to make themselves. If we can cram all that into two weeks, you can do it on a normal schedule

I also agree with the posters saying to ask for an earlier tasting. Two months just seems weird to me.

As for alterations, it depends what you're having done. If it's simple letting out, hem, bustle, my seamstress had it let out within a week. I'm having the back changed from zipper to corset though, so that's requiring an additional two months. If you don't need much done, you're probably okay to wait.

So to sum up. Seven months out is ok to have a lull in getting stuff done. There's still plenty of time for most of it

You don't need to stress just yet.

DeannaCW · March 2012

Also... why do decisions on cake, signiature cocktails, linens, and decor have to wait till after the tasting? Surely you can just decide what you like and decide on that without necessarily knowing the food? They don't have to match... Just curious?

nani1012 · March 2012

I think it's weird their charging ou for a tasting. My venue's tasting was free and they let me decide my food last month! Granted, I am a destination bride, but I think they should work with you on it. I haven't found a seamstress yet...still nervous about it, but trying to lose a few pounds before then.

I admit that one vendor I was trying to see when I was there last month did not want to see me since they were "busy". I tried to set up appointments to meet with them and it didn't work out. The one that accepted me when I dropped in (as we were leaving the area) was phenomenal and she was picked....

Checks? Nope, no checks. (vent)

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