Snarky Brides

FI's stupid wedding ideas!

Anyone else getting annoyed with some suggestions that there FI is coming up with for your wedding? I mean seriously...he's driving me mad! I just want to look at him when he comes up with this crap and bop him upside his head.
So our wedding is sort of casual. The ceremony will be at this cooky carousel museum and then we're just having a luncheon reception for 60 people at a restaurant after. No dancing and stuff like that. The ceremony starts at noon.
First he wanted the men to wear tux's with tails and them all wear top hots. I said um..no. Then he went out and bought a black cane with a shiney skull at the top to walk down the aisle with. I said..um no. You dont use a cane now why on earth would you walk down the aisle with one? We are on a VERY VERY tight budget and wants to buy a diamond ring for his mother as a present for helping out with the wedding. Um..shes only buying our cake topper and thats it for the whole wedding. He wants to get the groomsman flasks for their gift. Ok except my brother is 19.  His theory is he will use it someday. Our colors are black, white and silver. My mother will be looking at dresses that are burgundy, plum and deep colors like that. He ok'd a lime green pants suit his mother picked out!
GRRRRR..I know this may sound petty and stupid. But my FI is just..well dumb when it comes to this crap! And I want to smack him. :)
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Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:6a577c1e-443a-4539-bbf1-79dc364e49b7">FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Anyone else getting annoyed with some suggestions that there FI is coming up with for your wedding? I mean seriously...he's driving me mad! I just want to look at him when he comes up with this crap and bop him upside his head. So our wedding is sort of casual. The ceremony will be at this cooky carousel museum and then we're just having a luncheon reception for 60 people at a restaurant after. No dancing and stuff like that. The ceremony starts at noon. First he wanted the men to wear tux's with tails and them all wear top hots. I said um..no. Then he went out and bought a black cane with a shiney skull at the top to walk down the aisle with. I said..um no. You dont use a cane now why on earth would you walk down the aisle with one? We are on a VERY VERY tight budget and wants to buy a diamond ring for his mother as a present for helping out with the wedding. Um..shes only buying our cake topper and thats it for the whole wedding. He wants to get the groomsman flasks for their gift. Ok except my brother is 19.  His theory is he will use it someday. Our colors are black, white and silver. My mother will be looking at dresses that are burgundy, plum and deep colors like that. He ok'd a lime green pants suit his mother picked out! GRRRRR..I know this may sound petty and stupid. But my FI is just..well dumb when it comes to this crap! And I want to smack him. :)
    Posted by Swiftsong8[/QUOTE]

    I understand your frustration, but if you keep telling him NO there is going to be trouble.  Is he genuinely trying to help or being silly? 

    And paragraphs and spell check are your friend!
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  • 1.  If he really wants a cane, why shouldn't he have one?  You may think it's stupid, but if it's something he wants and it doesn't hurt you, who cares?

    2.  His Mom can dress herself and should wear whatever she feels best in.  You shouldn't have any say in her outfit.

    3.  Your brother is 19, not 13.   I'd feel pretty badass if I got that as a gift.  And if everyone else got flasks and I got a nintendo game, I'd be pretty pissed.

    However, I do agree that tuxes are not appropriate for a casual wedding, and strictly speaking, they are not appropriate before 5pm.

    You really need to plan this wedding WITH him.  It's his, too.
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  • I would have vetoed the cane, top hats, and I would have a hard time justifying the diamond ring, but the other stuff doesn't sound too bad.
  • I don't know if I would like a lime green pantsuit either, but I agree with sucrets; his mom is an adult and doesn't need her son to approve her outfits.

    But I do think the top hats and shiz would be ridiculous.  Men are silly.
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  • 1. I dont care about spell check or paragraphs this is a board Im not writing an essay for school.
    2. He has helped me with things. A LOT! He makes calls for me, he helped me decided which bridesmaids dress to pick because I really couldnt decided between two. He helped pick out flowers and save the date cards and invitaions and we did the registery together. He is involved!
    3. My brother doesnt drink. Never has never will. We have recovering alocoholics on my side of the family (which my Fi knows about) and my brother is fearful that he will turn into if he picks up a drink. So a flask wouldnt be good for him at all. I had this conversation with my Fi about this..he isnt budging. I said well I'll buy his gift then..a giftcard to Cabellas or something (my bro is a very outdoorsy kid.) My idea was ignored.
    4. I discussed with my FMIL about what colors I would like her to wear. She asked me..I didnt bring the subject up with her. I said we love dark colors. She said ok you got it. Then she picked out the lime green! The whole wedding party including parents and grandparents will all be in deep dark colors. Then her in lime green? She will stand out in the pics!
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  • and my brother is fearful that he will turn into if he picks up a drink


    that was supposed to say...
    and my brother is fearful that he will turn into an alcololic if he picks up a drink
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  • Calm down. Jesus. You came on here, first thing in the morning and posted a semi ridiculous vent about canes and top hats and now you're all pissy that people disagree with you?
  • cew515
    No need to tell me to calm down. Im not even pissy. Sorry if it seems that way. I knew people wouldnt agree with everything that I said. Thats why the boards are here so I can hear people opinions. This may seem ridiculous to you, but its not to me. gee..thanks for being supportive.

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  • Ah. Okay. Well, I read it as pissy inside my own head. Maybe I'm just not awake yet.

    And I'm pretty sure the last part of your post was an attempt at being a sarcastic, but you're welcome anyway.
  • Yes I was being sarcastic. I like peoples opnions but i HATE arguing on these boards. We all have enough on our minds with wedding planning we dont need to waste time being snappy at people that we dont even know. :)
    Anywho...I know its not helping the fact that I do have a touch of PMS and my FI just bought a 75 dollar pair of sneakers when he was supposed to give me that money to help with a lay-a-way payment for my dress. So yes perhaps I am being a touch dramatic with my first post. But the flask thing and the lime green thing is really driving me BANANAS!
    I think we both need a coffee..with some kahlua in it!
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  • If you hate arguing on this board and the drama..why post on the snarky brides board?  what did you expect?

    And spell check and paragraphs are nice so people can actually read what you are trying to type.


    And maybe you should have a talk with FI...he is buying $75 shoes when your on such a tight budget....


    cew-I read pissy. 

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  • Huh. I enjoy arguing on the boards. I've learned so much here through good debates.

    It sounds like you and your FI need to have a serious money conversation and get on the same page where your finances are concerned.

    When my FI bought the groomsmans' gifts, I wasn't too terribly excited. I spent a great deal of time and energy picking out unique gifts for my BMs and our mothers. It took me months to get it all together and I was really happy with the outcome. He ended up getting everyone a monogrammed garmet bag. I just felt like this was kind of an easy way out for him, but then I realized that it's his choice.

    But at the end of the day, he's a grown man and I didn't have the time or energy to micromanage every aspect of our wedding. The bottom line was that his friends adore him and they are all dudes. They couldn't have cared less what he got them because they just enjoyed the time with him. It all worked out perfectly in the end and I spent all that time worrying and nagging over nothing. It's just not worth it. If it means that much to him to get the flasks, then let him.
  • Booze in coffee is always a good idea, in my book. I hope you see that cew was offering sound advice, and not jumping on you. 
    AMA over 40
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    BFP 1/11; MM/C discovered @ 10w, loss at 6w; Cytotec
    B/W 7/11 = normal CD3, FSH 8.9; 7DPO progesterone 1.7
    Three Clomid cycles, all BFN, Off to an RE for me...
    FSH=8.7 E2=30 AMH=1.8 HSG clear, SA=great
    Inj. IUI #1 12/9/11 BFN, Inj. IUI #2 1/6/12 BFN
    Inj. IUI #3 1/30/12 BFP!, HCG doubled through 6w, 7w u/s mm/c twins
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    Op Hysteroscopy 5/12, removed scar tissue and uterine septum
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    Beautiful hatching 5-blast transfered 8/30
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  • Well you guys seemed to have read it just fine. Next time I post here I will make sure to let you know what way to read it. Pissy, sad...or maybe read it in your head with some stupid violins playing in the background.
    And theres a difference between constructive critisicim and just being rude. I wish everyone knew the difference.
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  • Well, come back soon!!!
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  • And when I mean I wish everyone knew the difference..I wasnt refering to any of you ladies that have posted on here today. :)
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  • Okay. You need to step back and take a deep breath. I didn't see anyone being rude to you at all.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:1ff25dde-7601-427b-8a66-34172df900ee">Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
    [QUOTE]And when I mean I wish everyone knew the difference..I wasnt refering to any of you ladies that have posted on here today. :)
    Posted by Swiftsong8[/QUOTE]

    Well, damn. We must have been posting at the same time. Disregard my last post. I thought you were telling us we were rude to you.
  • edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:a263c581-c3fa-436a-87a4-a1a2d72bd170">Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well you guys seemed to have read it just fine. Next time I post here I will make sure to let you know what way to read it. Pissy, sad...or maybe read it in your head with some stupid violins playing in the background. And theres a difference between constructive critisicim and just being rude. <strong>I wish everyone knew the difference.</strong>
    Posted by Swiftsong8[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, you need to learn the difference on this. Someday, when you are farther away from the stress of this, come back and read this and you'll see that the only rude voice in this thread so far is yours. You received constructive criticism and responded in a childish and rude way. Nice.</div><div>
    </div><div>ETA- posted at same time, didn't see your comment about not calling girls here rude. Ok then, just so that was clear. I understand that some of the boards can be rough.</div>
    AMA over 40
    Massive uterine fibroids removed 3/06
    BFP 1/11; MM/C discovered @ 10w, loss at 6w; Cytotec
    B/W 7/11 = normal CD3, FSH 8.9; 7DPO progesterone 1.7
    Three Clomid cycles, all BFN, Off to an RE for me...
    FSH=8.7 E2=30 AMH=1.8 HSG clear, SA=great
    Inj. IUI #1 12/9/11 BFN, Inj. IUI #2 1/6/12 BFN
    Inj. IUI #3 1/30/12 BFP!, HCG doubled through 6w, 7w u/s mm/c twins
    Lost our known donor to unplanned pregnancy
    Factor V Leiden, Hetero, symptomatic
    Op Hysteroscopy 5/12, removed scar tissue and uterine septum
    Doing Cryo-DE IVF and older child adoption (Home visit- Check!)
    Beautiful hatching 5-blast transfered 8/30
    BFP 9/7/12 EDD May 19, 2013, beta #1=291 beta #2=762 beta #3=7306
    Sneek peak u/s shows HB at 6w1d!!! 123bpm!
    Still have a HB at 18w0d!!! 142bpm! Grow, baby, grow!
    Great NT scan, but, placenta previa. Resolving!
    Labile Hypertension, placed on HBP meds to try to avoid pre-e
    A/S on 12/21/12, Petra's having a baby, it's the end of the world!
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  • cew515
    I dont really care about him giving the flasks as gifts to his bm and groomswoman. But when he knows how my younger bro feels about drinking...I feel like he should get him something different. ANYTHING!
    And as we speak my FI is returning those stupid shoes to the store. He said he should not have purchased them. he said he just loved them a lot. I'll go back and buy them for him as a b-day present for him.
    I like debates too. Im just way out of wack for some reason today.
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  • aahah we were all posting at the same time!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:64df6e8b-d2f1-442d-aecf-c7504ddb0398">Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes I was being sarcastic. I like peoples opnions but i HATE arguing on these boards. We all have enough on our minds with wedding planning we dont need to waste time being snappy at people that we dont even know. :) Anywho...I know its not helping the fact that I do have a touch of PMS and my FI just bought a 75 dollar pair of sneakers when he was supposed to give me that money to help with a lay-a-way payment for my dress. So yes perhaps I am being a touch dramatic with my first post. But the flask thing and the lime green thing is really driving me BANANAS! <strong>I think we both need a coffee..with some kahlua in it!
    </strong>Posted by Swiftsong8[/QUOTE]

    For someone with alcoholics on your side of the family, drinking doesn't seem to bother you.  So why is it such a big deal for your brother?  Just sayin....
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  • Yeah. I could see him getting him something different because he doesn't drink. Maybe you could help him with some suggestions.
  • Cuz I can control myself. Plus the alcoholics are blood related to my bro and not me. We have different fathers. His dad and uncle and great uncle are all alcoholics or recovering. He doesnt want his life ruined by drinking. So he believes why start and take that chance.
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  • ok, fair enough.  I do think it's wierd that your fi is so insistant on the flask if he knows all this.
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  • I suggested and REI giftcard or a gift card for Cabellas. He loves to do anything outdoors. Like camping and hiking and stuff. I got him an REI giftcard for his b-day and he loved it so much he knocked me over with a hug and kiss. AWWW...my lil 19 year old brother still loves his 30 yr old sister. :)
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  • He is slightly obsessed with the flasks I think. The wedding is still a little under 9 months away so I still have time to change the FI's mind.
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  • Maybe you could suggest combining his love of flasks with your brothers love of the outdoors? Maybe a really nice Nalgene, with some accessories like a drop-in Nalgene coffee filter for making coffee and tea when he's camping?
    AMA over 40
    Massive uterine fibroids removed 3/06
    BFP 1/11; MM/C discovered @ 10w, loss at 6w; Cytotec
    B/W 7/11 = normal CD3, FSH 8.9; 7DPO progesterone 1.7
    Three Clomid cycles, all BFN, Off to an RE for me...
    FSH=8.7 E2=30 AMH=1.8 HSG clear, SA=great
    Inj. IUI #1 12/9/11 BFN, Inj. IUI #2 1/6/12 BFN
    Inj. IUI #3 1/30/12 BFP!, HCG doubled through 6w, 7w u/s mm/c twins
    Lost our known donor to unplanned pregnancy
    Factor V Leiden, Hetero, symptomatic
    Op Hysteroscopy 5/12, removed scar tissue and uterine septum
    Doing Cryo-DE IVF and older child adoption (Home visit- Check!)
    Beautiful hatching 5-blast transfered 8/30
    BFP 9/7/12 EDD May 19, 2013, beta #1=291 beta #2=762 beta #3=7306
    Sneek peak u/s shows HB at 6w1d!!! 123bpm!
    Still have a HB at 18w0d!!! 142bpm! Grow, baby, grow!
    Great NT scan, but, placenta previa. Resolving!
    Labile Hypertension, placed on HBP meds to try to avoid pre-e
    A/S on 12/21/12, Petra's having a baby, it's the end of the world!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    PGAL Siggy Challenge- Animal Hangovers!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    "Petra, you are an obese 40+ year old. Stop jumping through these hoops. Just adopt already. There is no shame in that." -Deethebee
  • OOOhhhh..super friggen idea! THANKS!
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  • See, after thinking about this, here are my thoughts. If your brother really has an issue with drinking because you've had experiences with alcoholism in your family, then your FI should respect that regardless of what he is currently obsessed with. It bothers me that your FI doesn't have any empathy for the sensitivity that your brother has with alcohol.
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