Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends

emeejeeayen · November 2012

Upload your blue prints!

s-aries8990 · November 2012

OP, I agree that it sucks but FB is NEVER EVER EVER EVER the way to go.

monachica · November 2012

I'm glad I crossed this post. My fiance lives in CA, me in MN. We are having the wedding in MN and I will be moving to CA after the wedding (both our second marriage, neither of us had a wedding previously). I am a usually calm person and plan things myself and rarely ask people for help on things. I have been feeling like I am "suppose" to be freaking out about planning, but I just don't feel this way, but i'm worried that because I am not making much of a deal about this that I am going to miss a bunch of details or something. Our venue is basically all-inclusive, and will provide most of what the wedding and reception will need, minus the photographer and officiant. We will not have a bridal party, except maybe best man and MOH. After reading this post, I will be hiring a DOC, I can't be running around making sure everything is correct. I want to enjoy my day and not stress any of my family or friends out with OUR wedding, they are our GUESTS!

icefog34 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:be24ed98-359c-4302-a685-a40b33da7c9c">Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, my wedding was Saturday. The days leading up to were madness, the morning/day-of was insane, but we made it, walked down the aisle, and are very happy together. But I can't get over all of the things that went wrong. First of all, the entire time I had been working on DIY-ing this thing from the ground up, my bridesmaids and MOH were mostly absent. My mother and I constantly battle, so she wasn't any help at all. So, I sat mostly on my own doing everything. A few other friends stepped in eventually and said they would help out. We had meetings, made notes, and I made sure to write detailed instructions for the day-of when I couldn't be there. Well, being the anti-Bridezilla completely backfired. I eventually had to call in the assistance of my future husband and groomsmen because nothing was getting done. One of my bridesmaids was hungover and barfed in my bathroom that morning, my MOH was barking orders at me to help her after I had had a total of 10 hours of sleep in the previous 3 days, and I still had a ton of stuff that needed to be finished at home. Upon arriving at the venue nearly an hour and a half after we had planned (we were going to do pre-ceremony photos), I noticed so many things that were not done correctly. Balloons that were strung up outside had shrunken to shriveled up sacks, the lights inside of them were not turned on, the picnic tables were not spaced correctly, and many of them were bunched up together after we had made blueprints for where to put them, the after-ceremony confetti was by the front door and we would not be leaving the venue, the chalkboard ceremony sign was smeared and no one had bothered to tidy it up, the favors were on the cake table and hardly anyone bothered to take any, our toasting glasses were not on our table and eventually went missing, and our table backdrop was never placed behind our table. And I'm still missing our $25 cake knife (the serving knife broke) beacuse instead of following my instructions and putting important items in our car, people took it upon themselves to take home what they thought was important, or public guests (we had a live concert at a club) took them before no one packed up our stuff in time. And my MOH left early to go a birthday party. So, while I had a good time, and feedback was positive, I still can't get it out of my head that people let me down. It wasn't until the groomsmen arrived that someone finally looked at my instruction list. "Oh, you mean she left explicitly detailed instructions with pictures? Why isn't anyone looking at this?!" And they were the primary ones to make sure our stuff was secured, even though this was not necessarily their responsiblity. But now everyone (my girlfriends) thinks they worked SOOO hard, and that I'm being selfish and unappreciative because I'm disappointed. My sadness has been met with resounding opposition and anger, and I feel like I'm going to lose a few "friends" over this. I'm also quite succeptible to slipping into depression, and I feel like that has a lot to do with it. But no one is letting me grieve. I'm now a terrible person because I'm not happy. (Fortunately, my husband is supportive, and a better man that I could've ever hoped for.) I'm seriously at a loss for what to do. Yes, I married by best friend and the love of my life, but that doesn't mean that I have to be thrilled with the way everything went. Yes, these people helped me, but they sure as hell didn't listen to me.
Posted by freenyona[/QUOTE]

icefog34 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:ab13fbc2-4d31-4697-9cca-586a489a4074">Re: Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
[QUOTE]ur all crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!! chill out cant she vent?? Ypu're a bunch of cyber bullies i swear . my fi and I laugh at a lot of you ladies on repeat boards just jumping down peoples throat. just calm the F down
Posted by keyshkeyshx04x[/QUOTE]

I second this sentiment. OP I'm sorry your day turned out less than what you had hoped for. We as brides have ideas and dreams and hopes of how our special day is goinv to turn out and it's a hard pill to swallow when it doesn't work out that way. Sounds likd you had a lot resting on your shoulders and while BM's and other party members should never be "required" to work, it wojld have been nice for them to have pulled together to help you out if for no other reason than they care about you. Especially if they volunteered in thd first place. Try to put thd hurts behind you and just take comfort in your new married life and know that even though things didn't work out perfectly for the wedding day, you still got to marry the mosf wonderful man alive! You'll feel better after some time.
Sorry for the messed up spelling....stinkin' phone typing, lol

malibukayla · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:1cdbfcc6-7cc3-4528-bbd4-05fc050f0fa2">Re: Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
[QUOTE]Your bridal party are not slaves. Your DIY project are solely your responsibility. They are not required to help. If you wanted everything done in a specific way at your venue your should have done it yourself or hired a coordinator. Same thing goes for cleaning up. Sorry but your disappointment is unwarrented. It's your own fault for having unrealistic expectations.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>a bit harsh...she never mentioned that her bridal party didn't do enough, she said they didn't do anything and others have to step in. if they wanted to be in her wedding then they have the duty to help her out when they can.</div><div>
</div><div>as for everything else, she could not have been there for set up cuz she was getting ready. She probably did everything herself to save money (I agree as who the heck wants to get into debt just for one day?!) so hiring a coordinator probably wasn't in the budget. she could have gotten a more responsible person to oversee everything... but thats besides the point because its over!!!!</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>I hope your day goes better, because it would suck having people tell you what you could have done better like you just did. </div>

hshertenlieb · November 2012

Hey...at least you got married. I DIY my entire wedding all by myself and ended up calling it off 5 hours before it was to begin. Things could be worse. Get over it.

aaronNmandy2012 · November 2012

LOL thanks for the entertainment for the evening.

2 words....wedding planner

Would of saved you a lot of hassle. Thank you and have a good night.

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