Is it weird to sit the bridal party at different tables

Dani0203 · December 2009

So we are going with a sweetheart table for us, but our bridal party is made up of people who all don't really know each other. Basically they are from different groups of family and friends. I want to make sure they are with people they know so it is more fun for them, but this would mean sitting the bridesmaids and several different tables. Do you think this would be weird? I've been told that the bridesmaids and the groomsmen should both sit together with their dates and two tables specifically for them. I don't see the big deal, but is it weird? Somehow I also doubt that everyone at the reception would even notice, but apparently some people do because I've been told not to do this. What do you think?

aerinpegadrak · December 2009

It's not weird at all, your WP will enjoy the reception more if they can have dinner with people they know rather than a bunch of strangers. Honestly, most of your guests don't really care who the WP is. Go with your gut, even if old-fashioned people tell you it's strange.

fallbride1109 · December 2009

Personally I don't think there are any hard and fast "rules" to this. As long as you sit the BP with their dates, IMO they can be anywhere, and I certainly understand you wanting them to enjoy themselves. It's your wedding--do what you think is best. I don't think it's going to cause any kind of scandal to separate the BP.

jenn.daniel · December 2009

The BMs don't need to all sit together. Let them sit with their own friends.

gottahavashorti · December 2009

Seat them at different tables. No one will notice and they will be more comfortable than if they are making small talk with people they barely know. If anyone questions you, just explain your logic because you seem to have thought this through.

SarahPLiz · December 2009

I agree with PPs. The Wedding Pary's duties are over as soon as the wedding is over. The reception is for your guests, including the WP, so they should be given the same accomodation (sitting with friends) that your other guests are given.

laurening · December 2009

There will always be a couple old-school traditionalists who think it's wrong to change things up. However, as you said, 99% of the guests won't notice/won't care and your Wedding Party will be happier sitting with people they know.

Think about it this way. Sitting them with their friends is actually the more courteous and polite behavior than forcing them to sit together and make awkward small talk all night.

Chanel8174 · December 2009

I agree with laurening.... there will always be people to disagree from anything "different" but its all about what you want. you could always ask them for their opinions....

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

The whole point of a seating arrangment is to make sure your guests, including the WP are comfortable. If they'd be more comfortable with other people, that's great.

FWIW, I went to a wedding this fall where there was open seating, but the B&G sat at a sweetheart table. The WP was free to sit whereever. They all spread themselves out over the room to sit with their friends. It made perfect sense.

BelleAlex · December 2009

I think you should do whatever you think is right and not worry about etiquette too much. your bridal party will stand out no matter where they sit for dinner and besides, once the meal is over, everyone gets up anyways. plus, you want this day to be great for them too, so putting them where they know people will make them feel comfortable.

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

You should always worry about etiquette. However, the etiquette for seating is to put people where they'll be comfortable.

starshollow · December 2009

I spread my bridal party out and no one seemed to notice or care...except from my bridal party, who was happy to sit with their friends!

Put them where them and all of your other guests will be the happiest.

diana333 · December 2009

Last week there was a similar post and i was going to sit my bridal party with my future hubby and myself. But after reading many posts , and speaking to my FI this weekend when we went away on a fishing trip we decided to do a sweetheart table. I am kinda glad we decided to do this because we have 3 bridesmaids , 3 groomsman and two junior bridesmaids. All of them are married except for one bridesmaid and the juniors. So seating that many people i think would have over crowed the area. So off to the florist on Tuesday to finalize the new arrangements. And we called Premiere Party Rental and ordered our extra tables as well. Good Luck!!

DatsyuksMommy · December 2009

We (FI and I) are sitting at a table with our parents. GM (FI's brothers) will each sit with their wives and children. BM will sit together because they do all know each other and don't have children to take up seats at the table. The tables with the WP will be near our table. I'm pretty sure you can do whatever you want.

cukimerrydoll · December 2009

I'm thinking of doing a sweetheart table too.

The WP would still be seated somewhat together - BMs and their +1s would have a table, and GMs and their +1s would have another table.

They somewhat know eachother, but I might stick with the classics too... haven't decided yet what would work best.

goheels05 · December 2009

I think it's best to have your BP seated with people they know and like when possible, and if that means breaking them up, do it! To anyone telling you that you have to seat them all together (have a head table), they are wrong. The tradition of a head table is becoming more and more outdated because your BP would much rather sit with their own friends. It makes sense, really.

VanessaB24 · December 2009

its not weird. We are having everyone sit with their significant other. But i mean our bridal party all know each other. So the only one not sitting with them is One of my Bms since she has a hasband and daughter and they cant all fit in the one table.

SuMmErKuTiE · December 2009

This is exactly what we're doing too, and it's what we've seen at other friend's weddings recently. It works out better for everyone so the BP can sit with their SO's and other friends that they're more comfortable with. We had a blast at the last wedding we went to and I'm so glad some of the BP was at our table with us.

cmf68 · December 2009

I don't think it's weird at all! In fact, I was in a wedding where they did that, and it was really nice. It was fun to be able to sit with people that I knew, but it was actually a great way to have the bridal party interacting with guests. Because we were spread out all over the room, different guests came up to us and asked how we knew the bride or complemented our dresses. It's your day, so I'd say if you want it that way, you should do it!

LovelySkully · December 2009

Don't worry about it. You and I are in the same situation. Just sit where you are going to sit and have them sit where they want to sit. I understand how uncomfortable it feels to sit with people you don't know. Plus, it's your day so don't worry about silly things like that. Remember all eyes are on you. You get to be the princess for the day.

shainarae714 · December 2009

Not weird at all.

For our wedding, the head table will be me, FI, MOH and her date, and best man and his wife. The rest of the wedding party will be seated with their friends or family.

Hey, you guys can do whatever you want. Don't worry about what other people think (and sometimes say).

whits900 · December 2009

we're doing the same thing - us and BM, MOH and their spouses then the other WP members at close tables with friends and family. We didn't want to do a sweetheart table and our Wp was too big to fit at one table with spouses and kids.

ggmae · December 2009

Not weird at all. We sat our WP all around the room with their SOs, family, and friends. I think it worked out better that way.

Oct08b2bee · December 2009

We did a sweetheart table and our BP was spread out all over the place. They were very comfortable and glad not to have to sit with strangers. Personally I think head tables are lame. Every time I've been in a wedding, I've been stuck at a head table and hated it.

stahlop · December 2009

I don't think I've even been to a wedding where the WP sat together (and I've been to six weddings already this year, mine will be seven). We have ours spread out all over the place. Again, make sure they are comfortable with where they are sitting. You don't want them making small talk the whole time with people they really don't know.

diamondgrrl5 · December 2009

I think it is a great idea to have the WP throughout the room so they can sit with people they know and can have a good time with. Most of our WP is married, engaged, or living with their significant other that isn't in the WP so we will definitely be having them seated throughout the room with their family and loved ones.

patrize · December 2009

Echoing everyone else, I don't think it's a big deal to seat your BP throughout and no one will probably notice. However, it is my opinion that it is the norm to seat your BP member either with you at a head table, or all at the same table near you so that no one in the BP feels slighted about being further away from you than another. For example BM #1 is at table 3 close to the dance floor, but your MOH is at table 13 near the kitchen. In some ways that sounds petty, but I think those who stand up for you take pride in being in your BP and like the public acknowledgement that they are that special to you.

Anyway, nowadays, many just want to be comfortable, so they'll sit wherever you put them as long as they are with people they know and like.

turtle3808 · December 2009

Do it! Having been a BM for both types of seating, I much preferred sitting wtih people I knew (not the BP). For my brother's wedding it was particularly bad - I was seated with all the groomsmen I didn't know instead of my brother's friends, who were at the other BP table. Granted, that made sure we got up and danced a lot, but I would have been much more comfortable with friends or family instead of people I had never met before.

FWIW, we spread our bridal party out and they liked it. We didn't want the teenage BP members to feel weird at head tables without their families.

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