In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:76f645ef-e4d8-4ce9-bc57-e8ac5e18c94b">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : Dang it I just typed my post and hit submit and it took me to a post on the Jewish wedding board ugh! Anyways, we're getting married in the church I grew up going to with my family and through the parish church. We're getting married by a priest I've known for a while and did my confirmation, not the one we met with yesterday. I transferred from the Catholic school and so did my triplet sisters. The environment there was nothing like it should've been at a Catholic church and I'm not as strong a Catholic as I used to be because of that. I like the Catholic wedding and we're not doing a mass either. Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]<div> </div><div>I had a similar experience with my childhood parish. Many blessings to you, your future spouse, and your future children! I hope your faith grows stronger everyday.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:333cdf26-1a49-447a-b5ef-07ec4cd52d83">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : I'm a bit confused. Is it the priest that you met with yesterday that you have a problem with, or is it thewhat you expereiced with that one school/church?<strong> I just feel that if you make a promise to do something,(this has nothing to do with religion, it's just me) you should try your best to follow through.</strong> Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]<div> </div><div>I couldn't agree more. I was giving the benefit of the doubt that they plan to follow through with the promise and are just grumbling about it. Hopefully that's the case. </div><div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:333cdf26-1a49-447a-b5ef-07ec4cd52d83">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : I'm a bit confused. Is it the priest that you met with yesterday that you have a problem with, or is it thewhat you expereiced with that one school/church? I just feel that if you make a promise to do something,(this has nothing to do with religion, it's just me) you should try your best to follow through. Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE] The priest we met yesterday is new to the parish. He and the other one came here this past year. Our parish has a K-12 school with it. I went there til my jr. year and got sick of the stuff that happened there so I transferred. It was a very hostile environment and not like what a Catholic school should be. I wasn't happy with the test yesterday because I felt it got too personal and I wasn't expecting to take that long test. We're doing a marriage retreat weekend in January or February not sure have to look it up so I didn't really know what we were gonna do in our meeting
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:961a44ac-d4ac-492b-bb23-ce981327a14d">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : The priest we met yesterday is new to the parish. He and the other one came here this past year. Our parish has a K-12 school with it. I went there til my jr. year and got sick of the stuff that happened there so I transferred. It was a very hostile environment and not like what a Catholic school should be. I wasn't happy with the test yesterday because I felt it got too personal and I wasn't expecting to take that long test. We're doing a marriage retreat weekend in January or February not sure have to look it up so I didn't really know what we were gonna do in our meeting Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE] Okay. I'm surprised no-one talked to you before the test. My priest explained to Fi and I that is will be long and it is very personal.<div>I'm sorry that you had to deal with a hostile environment.</div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:6bd8a3bb-0add-4ad9-a9e9-ad3c8f75d437">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]@Cville: I think you misunderstood me when I said some of the questions really rubbed me the wrong way. I listed the types. They were very specific sexual ones that we don't feel are the church's business. Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]The Church certainly thinks sex (and contraception and abortion) is its business.
Humanae Vitae is the papal encyclical about sex and reproduction. Here's a summary: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae</a>
John Paul II restated a lot of it in the 90s. Here's a summary: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veritatis_Splendor">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veritatis_Splendor</a> I
I no longer subscribe to all of the Church's teachings, so while I still hold onto most of my beliefs, I won't take the sacraments, which includes Holy Matrimony. Some people call us "a la carte" Catholics.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:3926af8c-1cbe-40eb-8e5f-0c7ceff3d247">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : The Church certainly thinks sex (and contraception and abortion) is its business. Humanae Vitae is the papal encyclical about sex and reproduction. Here's a summary: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae</a> John Paul II restated a lot of it in the 90s. Here's a summary: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veritatis_Splendor" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veritatis_Splendor</a> I I no longer subscribe to all of the Church's teachings, so while I still hold onto most of my beliefs, I won't take the sacraments, which includes Holy Matrimony. <strong>Some people call us "a la carte" Catholics.</strong> Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]
I think the catholic church gets a bad rap, soemtimes unfairly. While we are getting married in a catholic church, i am not catholic & neither is my son. The priest is ok with that, any future children will need to be raised catholic (we are not having any more children, my health doesn't allow for that much). He met with us to "decide" whether he would marry us, sometimes they feel a couple is not ready. Honestly, if everyone had to go through the troubles to get married i bet a lot less people would be getting married.
You guys make it sound like the catholic church is the most god awful place out there & that children should have a choice (i am letting my son decide) but they do get a choice, when they are 18 & become an adult, no one forces them to stay, they can denounce if they want as well.
There are alot worse things out there than catechism. If someone grows up muslim & going to the temple are you going to tell them they can't take their children because children should be given choices? What about if they are jewish?
I think it is bogus that people should not be able to choose what they teach their children.
kaitlyn, i know you have very strong feelings & no one can change your mind ever but i would strongly reconsider if you do not follow the beliefs & do not want to raise your children catholic. Religion is not something to take lightly. Just because it is your parents church is not enough reason. You have to WANT it, otherwise you are just fooling everyone & i don't think that is very nice. You don't have to believe, but don't pretend you do just to get married there.
We never went to church other than easter or christmas, because the boys don't like to get up sundays, but our priest said he would not marry us if he did not think we wanted to be there, that they belive in more than just getting married in a church for sake of getting married in a church. It is a gorgeous church, his parents & grandparents all got married there, but i agreed with the priest & we have been going to church 1 time a month (Fiance works 2 weekends a month). We have to miss mass this year, i love christmas mass, i feel so wonderful after, so i am sad, guess what............. i am not the one who is catholic.
The test is not fun, it is not supposed to be fun, it is designed for a few reasons, to weed out those who shouldn't get married, also so that they know how much of the same page you guys are on. We did not have to take it, but when we do our sessions we have some of the same answers & we always laugh, because we have the same type of thought process. The priest says he can see the improvements that we have made from a year ago when we first met with him, we can too & it is because of the church & our faith coming back.
Sorry you had such an uncomfortable meeting with the church. I think it is strange that they didn't tell you before hand what to expect from the test (I am not Catholic, so we will not take it, but my pastor explained to us that we willl have questions to answer and they can get pretty personal...but also said we could let him know that we would rather not discus it with him and he would be cool with it) I also think its strange you did not meet w/the one who is marrying you. Hopefully any future meetings you have will go better
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:70c6371e-b1ae-4bc0-b4aa-14d1e24c87eb">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]Sorry you had such an uncomfortable meeting with the church. I think it is strange that they didn't tell you before hand what to expect from the test (I am not Catholic, so we will not take it, but my pastor explained to us that we willl have questions to answer and they can get pretty personal...but also said we could let him know that we would rather not discus it with him and he would be cool with it) I also think its strange you did not meet w/the one who is marrying you. Hopefully any future meetings you have will go better :) Posted by niecie_jeff[/QUOTE] Yeah we met with the pastor of the church. The priest marrying us still works in our diocese but not at that church anymore. We will most likely meet with him when we're back for spring break
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:3f3f9551-8d1d-47cc-bb59-56b851df3eac">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]Talking about sex (and children, money, family, division of labor) is standard pre-wedding stuff. The assessments used by officiants are meant to facilitate those discussions. Clearly, many couples don't have them or are uncomfortable with having them. That can lead to problems with goals and expectations later on. Tools like FOCCUS are meant to HELP you walk into marriage on the same page. Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE] I could not have said it better than this.
My FI is non-practicing, so I just asked him how he felt when we completed FOCCUS. He said it did not make him feel uncomfortable at all, he expected those types of questions to be brought up at some point because they coincide with the beliefs of the Catholic church.
When we got our results back, we found that we did have a handful of questions we answered differently. With some of these, we already knew we had differing opinions. There were a couple though that we had only skimmed the surface of in the past. FOCCUS led us to having a rather lengthy and in depth conversation about them. It led us to do exactly what it was intended to do.
As for signing the paper, I would like to know how you are upset about signing it today but will be okay with answering it on your wedding day? Even though you are not having a full mass, you still go through the Rite of Marriage. The last question the priest will ask, before declaring your consent, is "Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" This verbal agreement is no different than the written one you have signed. And on your wedding day, you will be declaring it before a church full of witnesses.
Bonnie- I agree with you. I hate how people give the Catholic church a bad rap with out knowing all the doctrine of it. I've been a practicing Catholic for 22 years and I don't know everything about the church yet. or why we do what we do. It bugs me when someone on the outside I guess tou can call it, insults the church.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:532388d9-d754-4d96-a28d-afdf6a7221d1">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]Bonnie- I agree with you. I hate how people give the Catholic church a bad rap with out knowing all the doctrine of it. I've been a practicing Catholic for 22 years and I don't know everything about the church yet. or why we do what we do. It bugs me when someone on the outside I guess tou can call it, insults the church. Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE] The stuff upset me/rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not on the outside and how did I insult the church? I think some of you are getting too nit picky on the way I do things and this was more of just this happened it made us uncomfortable but we're dealing with it.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:ab6ef8f1-d0d3-4475-916a-b7c67d1744be">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : The stuff upset me/rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not on the outside and how did I insult the church? I think some of you are getting too nit picky on the way I do things and this was more of just this happened it made us uncomfortable but we're dealing with it. Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE] I;m not talking about you. I was agreeing with how people instult the church. I was also talking about how people who aren't catholics insult the church when they don't know about the church
I'm a practicing Catholic and when I went to meet with the priest at my Parish I was WAY uncomfortable answering those questions as well. BUT I understand why they do now. They gotta make sure you have working reproductive parts and you are comfortable sexually with your future spouse. The purpose of marriage is to produce children. If you aren't going to do that or raise the ones you have in the Catholic church....what's the point in getting married there? KWIM?
Congrats on the checks! I have my florist as well but I completely forgot what color flowers we were getting...I should really double check on that. haha
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:dcec57d6-5118-42ad-b404-dee711f5e778">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]Congrats on the checks! I have my florist as well but I completely forgot what color flowers we were getting...I should really double check on that. haha Posted by tyleet87[/QUOTE] Haha yeah she wrote everything down and really detailed. She made a copy for me and broke down all of the costs. It's really helpful. I did a budget spreadsheet last night to see where we're at and we're $2500 under budget and that's including our RD. We had to book it because FMIL wouldn't cooperate with me so FI said book it. We're not sure if she's gonna pay for it or not so we put it in our budget. I think our wine is pretty overestimated because of an online calculator I used but rather overestimate than under
It am SO grateful that my florist and photographer were at no cost to Fi and I. My FFIL knows them through his business and they are doing an exchange of services. But when I met with them and everything was agreed, I didn't write anything down and of course I can't remember the details. I can't even remember last week. haha
Yay for being under budget! I'm sure that's such a nice feeling.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:a8013bc1-15e0-4bd6-be6e-8f0acf19c49f">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : I;m not talking about you. I was agreeing with how people instult the church. I was also talking about how people who aren't catholics insult the church when they don't know about the church Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]
I fear you're after me and I feel like I have to defend myself! I really try not to throw my two cents into conversations here unless I have something to say.
I'm from a devout, Catholic family. I essentially grew up in my family's church (I literally know every inch of the building). My mother taught CCD, I went to Catholic high school, college, and graduate school. I've taken pretty high level theology classes and know Christianity (and other religions) quite well. Being educated by Dominicans and Jesuits is pretty intense.
Five of my college friends became priests, one from my inner circle of friends. He was chosen to be ordained by the pope (John Paul II, not Benedict) and I went along with five other friends to be there. We were able to go into the archeological dig that was still in progress under St. Peter's. We saw what is thought to be his bones.
I fell away from the church over a few issues (role of women and the treatment of LGBT Catholics being highest on the list).
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:2125d99f-3f6d-4ac3-9f40-e4e7369e7246">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : I fear you're after me and I feel like I have to defend myself! I really try not to throw my two cents into conversations here unless I have something to say. I'm from a devout, Catholic family. I essentially grew up in my family's church (I literally know every inch of the building). My mother taught CCD, I went to Catholic high school, college, and graduate school. I've taken pretty high level theology classes and know Christianity (and other religions) quite well. Being educated by Dominicans and Jesuits is pretty intense. Five of my college friends became priests, one from my inner circle of friends. He was chosen to be ordained by the pope (John Paul II, not Benedict) and I went along with five other friends to be there. We were able to go into the archeological dig that was still in progress under St. Peter's. We saw what is thought to be his bones.<strong> I fell away from the church over a few issues (role of women and the treatment of LGBT Catholics being highest on the list). </strong> Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE] That's part of the reason I did too along with a bad experience at Catholic school. Having gay family and friends, LGBT issues are huge to me. I'm also pro choice and I don't force my views on others so I don't like having their views forced on me. KWIM?
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:2783b8e2-5682-4184-aa09-9a9df8cf9c91">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]I saw the breakdown of what all that cost. It am SO grateful that my florist and photographer were at no cost to Fi and I. My FFIL knows them through his business and they are doing an exchange of services. :) But when I met with them and everything was agreed, I didn't write anything down and of course I can't remember the details. I can't even remember last week. haha Yay for being under budget! I'm sure that's such a nice feeling. :) Posted by tyleet87[/QUOTE] That's awesome! This will show I'm young haha but our photographer did my senior pictures 2 years ago :P <div>FI and I saw her work on FB. She did a classmate's of his and they were amazing. I probably looked at every picture on her website and I am in love with her work. I recommend her to everyone possible. She just did my brother's senior pictures this year too</div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_meeting-recaps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:306b7a20-75df-4474-b0ef-eb30c8080522Post:2125d99f-3f6d-4ac3-9f40-e4e7369e7246">Re: Meeting Recaps</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : I fear you're after me and I feel like I have to defend myself! I really try not to throw my two cents into conversations here unless I have something to say. I'm from a devout, Catholic family. I essentially grew up in my family's church (I literally know every inch of the building). My mother taught CCD, I went to Catholic high school, college, and graduate school. I've taken pretty high level theology classes and know Christianity (and other religions) quite well. Being educated by Dominicans and Jesuits is pretty intense. Five of my college friends became priests, one from my inner circle of friends. He was chosen to be ordained by the pope (John Paul II, not Benedict) and I went along with five other friends to be there. We were able to go into the archeological dig that was still in progress under St. Peter's. We saw what is thought to be his bones. I fell away from the church over a few issues (role of women and the treatment of LGBT Catholics being highest on the list). Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]<div> </div><div>N, I'm not after any one on the boards, I was just stating how I felt. I'm sorry if it looks that way, that was not my intention
Re: Meeting Recaps
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : Dang it I just typed my post and hit submit and it took me to a post on the Jewish wedding board ugh! Anyways, we're getting married in the church I grew up going to with my family and through the parish church. We're getting married by a priest I've known for a while and did my confirmation, not the one we met with yesterday. I transferred from the Catholic school and so did my triplet sisters. The environment there was nothing like it should've been at a Catholic church and I'm not as strong a Catholic as I used to be because of that. I like the Catholic wedding and we're not doing a mass either.
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I had a similar experience with my childhood parish. Many blessings to you, your future spouse, and your future children! I hope your faith grows stronger everyday.
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : I'm a bit confused. Is it the priest that you met with yesterday that you have a problem with, or is it thewhat you expereiced with that one school/church?<strong> I just feel that if you make a promise to do something,(this has nothing to do with religion, it's just me) you should try your best to follow through.</strong>
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I couldn't agree more. I was giving the benefit of the doubt that they plan to follow through with the promise and are just grumbling about it. Hopefully that's the case. </div><div>
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : I'm a bit confused. Is it the priest that you met with yesterday that you have a problem with, or is it thewhat you expereiced with that one school/church? I just feel that if you make a promise to do something,(this has nothing to do with religion, it's just me) you should try your best to follow through.
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]
The priest we met yesterday is new to the parish. He and the other one came here this past year. Our parish has a K-12 school with it. I went there til my jr. year and got sick of the stuff that happened there so I transferred. It was a very hostile environment and not like what a Catholic school should be. I wasn't happy with the test yesterday because I felt it got too personal and I wasn't expecting to take that long test. We're doing a marriage retreat weekend in January or February not sure have to look it up so I didn't really know what we were gonna do in our meeting
Planning Bio ll Married Bio ll My Blog
***Wedding Items For Sale***
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : The priest we met yesterday is new to the parish. He and the other one came here this past year. Our parish has a K-12 school with it. I went there til my jr. year and got sick of the stuff that happened there so I transferred. It was a very hostile environment and not like what a Catholic school should be. I wasn't happy with the test yesterday because I felt it got too personal and I wasn't expecting to take that long test. We're doing a marriage retreat weekend in January or February not sure have to look it up so I didn't really know what we were gonna do in our meeting
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]
Okay. I'm surprised no-one talked to you before the test. My priest explained to Fi and I that is will be long and it is very personal.<div>I'm sorry that you had to deal with a hostile environment.</div>
[QUOTE]@Cville: I think you misunderstood me when I said some of the questions really rubbed me the wrong way. I listed the types. They were very specific sexual ones that we don't feel are the church's business. Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]The Church certainly thinks sex (and contraception and abortion) is its business.
Humanae Vitae is the papal encyclical about sex and reproduction. Here's a summary: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae</a>
John Paul II restated a lot of it in the 90s. Here's a summary: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veritatis_Splendor">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veritatis_Splendor</a>
I
I no longer subscribe to all of the Church's teachings, so while I still hold onto most of my beliefs, I won't take the sacraments, which includes Holy Matrimony. Some people call us "a la carte" Catholics.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : The Church certainly thinks sex (and contraception and abortion) is its business. Humanae Vitae is the papal encyclical about sex and reproduction. Here's a summary: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae</a> John Paul II restated a lot of it in the 90s. Here's a summary: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veritatis_Splendor" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veritatis_Splendor</a> I I no longer subscribe to all of the Church's teachings, so while I still hold onto most of my beliefs, I won't take the sacraments, which includes Holy Matrimony. <strong>Some people call us "a la carte" Catholics.</strong>
Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Hahaha I like this :)</div>
Planning Bio ll Married Bio ll My Blog
***Wedding Items For Sale***
Dream Honeymoon/Actual Honeymoon Disneyworld
Planning Bio ll Married Bio ll My Blog
***Wedding Items For Sale***
[QUOTE]Sorry you had such an uncomfortable meeting with the church. I think it is strange that they didn't tell you before hand what to expect from the test (I am not Catholic, so we will not take it, but my pastor explained to us that we willl have questions to answer and they can get pretty personal...but also said we could let him know that we would rather not discus it with him and he would be cool with it) I also think its strange you did not meet w/the one who is marrying you. Hopefully any future meetings you have will go better :)
Posted by niecie_jeff[/QUOTE]
Yeah we met with the pastor of the church. The priest marrying us still works in our diocese but not at that church anymore. We will most likely meet with him when we're back for spring break
Planning Bio ll Married Bio ll My Blog
***Wedding Items For Sale***
[QUOTE]Talking about sex (and children, money, family, division of labor) is standard pre-wedding stuff. The assessments used by officiants are meant to facilitate those discussions. Clearly, many couples don't have them or are uncomfortable with having them. That can lead to problems with goals and expectations later on. Tools like FOCCUS are meant to HELP you walk into marriage on the same page.
Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]
I could not have said it better than this.
My FI is non-practicing, so I just asked him how he felt when we completed FOCCUS. He said it did not make him feel uncomfortable at all, he expected those types of questions to be brought up at some point because they coincide with the beliefs of the Catholic church.
When we got our results back, we found that we did have a handful of questions we answered differently. With some of these, we already knew we had differing opinions. There were a couple though that we had only skimmed the surface of in the past. FOCCUS led us to having a rather lengthy and in depth conversation about them. It led us to do exactly what it was intended to do.
As for signing the paper, I would like to know how you are upset about signing it today but will be okay with answering it on your wedding day? Even though you are not having a full mass, you still go through the Rite of Marriage. The last question the priest will ask, before declaring your consent, is "Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" This verbal agreement is no different than the written one you have signed. And on your wedding day, you will be declaring it before a church full of witnesses.
[QUOTE]Bonnie- I agree with you. I hate how people give the Catholic church a bad rap with out knowing all the doctrine of it. I've been a practicing Catholic for 22 years and I don't know everything about the church yet. or why we do what we do. It bugs me when someone on the outside I guess tou can call it, insults the church.
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]
The stuff upset me/rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not on the outside and how did I insult the church? I think some of you are getting too nit picky on the way I do things and this was more of just this happened it made us uncomfortable but we're dealing with it.
Planning Bio ll Married Bio ll My Blog
***Wedding Items For Sale***
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : The stuff upset me/rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not on the outside and how did I insult the church? I think some of you are getting too nit picky on the way I do things and this was more of just this happened it made us uncomfortable but we're dealing with it.
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]
I;m not talking about you. I was agreeing with how people instult the church. I was also talking about how people who aren't catholics insult the church when they don't know about the church
[QUOTE]Congrats on the checks! I have my florist as well but I completely forgot what color flowers we were getting...I should really double check on that. haha
Posted by tyleet87[/QUOTE]
Haha yeah she wrote everything down and really detailed. She made a copy for me and broke down all of the costs. It's really helpful. I did a budget spreadsheet last night to see where we're at and we're $2500 under budget and that's including our RD. We had to book it because FMIL wouldn't cooperate with me so FI said book it. We're not sure if she's gonna pay for it or not so we put it in our budget. I think our wine is pretty overestimated because of an online calculator I used but rather overestimate than under
Planning Bio ll Married Bio ll My Blog
***Wedding Items For Sale***
It am SO grateful that my florist and photographer were at no cost to Fi and I. My FFIL knows them through his business and they are doing an exchange of services.
Yay for being under budget! I'm sure that's such a nice feeling.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : I;m not talking about you. I was agreeing with how people instult the church. I was also talking about how people who aren't catholics insult the church when they don't know about the church
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]
I fear you're after me and I feel like I have to defend myself! I really try not to throw my two cents into conversations here unless I have something to say.
I'm from a devout, Catholic family. I essentially grew up in my family's church (I literally know every inch of the building). My mother taught CCD, I went to Catholic high school, college, and graduate school. I've taken pretty high level theology classes and know Christianity (and other religions) quite well. Being educated by Dominicans and Jesuits is pretty intense.
Five of my college friends became priests, one from my inner circle of friends. He was chosen to be ordained by the pope (John Paul II, not Benedict) and I went along with five other friends to be there. We were able to go into the archeological dig that was still in progress under St. Peter's. We saw what is thought to be his bones.
I fell away from the church over a few issues (role of women and the treatment of LGBT Catholics being highest on the list).
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : I fear you're after me and I feel like I have to defend myself! I really try not to throw my two cents into conversations here unless I have something to say. I'm from a devout, Catholic family. I essentially grew up in my family's church (I literally know every inch of the building). My mother taught CCD, I went to Catholic high school, college, and graduate school. I've taken pretty high level theology classes and know Christianity (and other religions) quite well. Being educated by Dominicans and Jesuits is pretty intense. Five of my college friends became priests, one from my inner circle of friends. He was chosen to be ordained by the pope (John Paul II, not Benedict) and I went along with five other friends to be there. We were able to go into the archeological dig that was still in progress under St. Peter's. We saw what is thought to be his bones.<strong> I fell away from the church over a few issues (role of women and the treatment of LGBT Catholics being highest on the list). </strong>
Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]
That's part of the reason I did too along with a bad experience at Catholic school. Having gay family and friends, LGBT issues are huge to me. I'm also pro choice and I don't force my views on others so I don't like having their views forced on me. KWIM?
Planning Bio ll Married Bio ll My Blog
***Wedding Items For Sale***
[QUOTE]I saw the breakdown of what all that cost. It am SO grateful that my florist and photographer were at no cost to Fi and I. My FFIL knows them through his business and they are doing an exchange of services. :) But when I met with them and everything was agreed, I didn't write anything down and of course I can't remember the details. I can't even remember last week. haha Yay for being under budget! I'm sure that's such a nice feeling. :)
Posted by tyleet87[/QUOTE]
That's awesome! This will show I'm young haha but our photographer did my senior pictures 2 years ago :P <div>FI and I saw her work on FB. She did a classmate's of his and they were amazing. I probably looked at every picture on her website and I am in love with her work. I recommend her to everyone possible. She just did my brother's senior pictures this year too</div>
Planning Bio ll Married Bio ll My Blog
***Wedding Items For Sale***
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Meeting Recaps : I fear you're after me and I feel like I have to defend myself! I really try not to throw my two cents into conversations here unless I have something to say. I'm from a devout, Catholic family. I essentially grew up in my family's church (I literally know every inch of the building). My mother taught CCD, I went to Catholic high school, college, and graduate school. I've taken pretty high level theology classes and know Christianity (and other religions) quite well. Being educated by Dominicans and Jesuits is pretty intense. Five of my college friends became priests, one from my inner circle of friends. He was chosen to be ordained by the pope (John Paul II, not Benedict) and I went along with five other friends to be there. We were able to go into the archeological dig that was still in progress under St. Peter's. We saw what is thought to be his bones. I fell away from the church over a few issues (role of women and the treatment of LGBT Catholics being highest on the list).
Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>N, I'm not after any one on the boards, I was just stating how I felt. I'm sorry if it looks that way, that was not my intention
</div>