this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Just Engaged and Proposals
Just Engaged and Proposals
New Discussion

Newly engaged and the "fun" has begun.

ladyvaillladyvaill member
10 Comments
in Just Engaged and Proposals
Hello everyone,

We got engaged this past Sunday.  It came as a complete surprise which is what I had hoped for.  Our families are very excited for us...our friends too.  The news is just starting to spread and it's finally sinking in.

I'm already having a dilemma and I'm hoping to get some feedback from you all. We're talking over our choices for our wedding party.  He has a brother and 2 sisters...do I need to include his two sisters on my side?  Is it the right thing to do?  Is it an obligation?  I'm not close to either of them and would rather not have a large wedding party and have 4 people (family and friends) on my side that I really want to have stand for me.

Thoughts? 

Thanks,
~d
Report Reply to Post

Re: Newly engaged and the "fun" has begun.

  • jaxrn1jaxrn1 member
    10 Comments
    I'm not super close  with my future  SIL but I am having her. My FI is having my brother so it evens it out for us. I figure I am stuck with her, so I mine as well try to become close with her. Good luck, I know it's a tough choice, but unfortunately sometimes friendships don't last, but they will be family, whether you like it or not, so that may be somehing to think about.
    Report Reply
  • joeyzloisljoeyzloisl
    10 Comments
    I do not get along with my fiance's twin sister. He told me that he might ask his brother in law it be in his wedding party, so I felt like I may be obligated to have her in my party, but I don't think I am going to ask her and that's because my bridesmaids should be people who are close to ME. Hopefully I don't start a family fued, LOL!
    Report Reply
  • ladyvaillladyvaill member
    10 Comments
    thank you all for your advice.  i wish he only had one sister, but with all of the siblings on his side being so close in age, i don't think i could choose.  i would like my sister, niece (who is like a daughter to me),  my best friend from over 20yrs and best friend of 12 years in my party.  Having six on each side seems like too many people.

    i asked him if he would have them stand on his side, but he wants his brother and four best friends to be on his side.  he says not to feel obligated but i feel a feud would start if i didn't have them included.

    i thought of having him ask them how involved they were hoping to be, perhaps they'd rather spend the day with him versus helping me get ready...or perhaps they're hoping i don't ask...or on the flip side, that they're expecting to be included.

    something to ponder a little longer, i think.  thank you all again for your help...maybe i'll sleep tonight. Wink
    Report Reply
  • rocket1415rocket1415 member
    10 Comments
    edited May 2012
    I have a sister who is much older than me. When she got married she did not put me in her bridal party because we are not very close, but she wanted me to feel included so she asked me to be greeter, but it was mostly his family and it would have been really awkward so I told her I rather enjoy the wedding than be a part of the bridal party. My fiance was his sister's usher. Siblings don't have to be a big part of your wedding to be happy for you.
    Report Reply
  • Flordeliz21Flordeliz21 member
    First Comment
    Since he has 2 sisters and you already have the girls you want by your side, maybe you can draw their names out of a hat and pick one.  That way your giving them both the opportunity to be in your bridal party with out excluding any of them. And since you are not very close with any one of them, they should understand. Good Luck! XO
    Report Reply
  • Beads921Beads921 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    What does your FI think? My FI has 1 sister, and he felt pretty strongly that she be included in the wedding party, so she's going to be a bridesmaid. We're not super close, but it means a lot to FI. All of our siblings will be in the WP (my sisters, his sister, and his brothers). 

    You have to do what feels best for you and your FI, not what you think will suit everyone else or what everyone else is doing.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    Life is good today.
    Report Reply
  • nextrightthingnextrightthing member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Like PP said, I would leave this up to your FI.  If he wants his sisters in the BP, I'd suck it up and do it.  If he doesn't care, then no, you don't have to.  It seems to be expected in some social circles and not so much in others.  My FI has a sister, and I'm not sure whether she will be in the BP....it depends on what FI decides when we are closer to the date.  I have two brothers, and one is not close and won't be in the BP.  One will either be a GM or an usher....
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • strlzfan11strlzfan11 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    You've got a long time before you really need to pick your BP.  Don't ask anyone until January at the earliest if your wedding truly isn't until October 2013.  So much can change between now and then in terms of your relationships.
    Report Reply
  • EslingerEslinger
    First Comment
    What could it hurt to include her...remember it's the grooms day too!!
    Report Reply
  • ladyvaillladyvaill member
    10 Comments
    thank you all so much!

    i talked to FI and he talked to his one sister and she said that it was a lot of work and to her not worth it.  HA!  so glad i had him test the water first.  he's going to talk to the other one to see what her thoughts are.  if she feels the same way, i'd be more than happy to give them a corsage and have them not be on my side of the bridal party.

    i've asked FI for us to wait before we ask because as a few of you have said, we have lots of time and things can change a lot between now and then.

    thank you all again!!!

    ~d
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards