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Help! telling my mom im moving
Hi my name is ali and i am 21 years old. Me and my boy i mean fiance just got engaged! we have been together 3.5 years. I love him so much. I live with my parents currently and he lives with his. We each have a cat. Mine lives at my house and his lives at his house. But they are both ours. We are also adopting a beautiful puppy in two weeks. We love animals and thats a major part of our realtionship. I am a nursing student and i will be graduating in sept. I want sooo bad to move in with him and his parents, we picked his house because my mom does not want another dog or his cat. Plus his parents have the extra room. no i have never been on my own and this would be the first time moving out. So how do i tell my mom im moving out. oh and ps i work at the same place as my mom in differnt departments. shes med billing and im med asst. thanks so much for any advice!!!!
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Re: Help! telling my mom im moving
P.S. You would not be moving into his house. You would moving into his parents' house. Are they okay with this? They're the people you need to be worried about. Are you going to be paying rent?
I am not anti-moving in, these are just some issues I think you should think about. Personally I would not want to go right from living with my parents to living with someone. I think people do better if they live on their own for a bit and get used to doing chores, budgeting, etc before moving in together, but that's just me.
[QUOTE]we have already discused it with his parents and they are cool with everything. the puppy was kinda his moms and my idea. i just dont want my mom to flip out. That's scarying me the most. I dont want to upset her i just want her to understand. I think she's going to think im chosing his family over mine but its just because of extra room.
Posted by aliimarie29[/QUOTE]
Why are you so worried about your mother's reaction? Soon you and your fiance will be married and you two will have to start making decisions about what is right for the two of you and not worrying about what other people will think or say
Good luck!
Thanks,
You should maybe wait a little bit to see if she calms down so that you can leave on good terms- ideally, you don't want to move out while she's still angry at you. But if she doesn't calm down, then I'd say you should go ahead and move out. Like you said, you need to do what's right for you.
Life is good today.
Good luck in all that you do!
Your mother would like it if you got married FIRST, and then began your life as a married couple in an apartment that you share with your new husband.
So you need to stop using these pets as manipulations and justifications as to why you MUST go live over at FI's parents' house starting RIGHTHISMINUTE.
Keep working and start saving money. Work on your classes because you have to go to school until you graduate in September. Work on revising your resume and applying to places you want to work - and tell them that you will be available starting October 1. Work on planning a wedding. Go look at apartments with FI.
There's a long list of things you can do RIGHTHISMINUTE.
[QUOTE]Your mother would like it if you got married FIRST, and then began your life as a married couple in an apartment that you share with your new husband. So you need to stop using these pets as manipulations and justifications as to why you MUST go live over at FI's parents' house starting RIGHTHISMINUTE. Keep working and start saving money. Work on your classes because you have to go to school until you graduate in September. Work on revising your resume and applying to places you want to work - and tell them that you will be available starting October 1. Work on planning a wedding. Go look at apartments with FI. There's a long list of things you can do RIGHTHISMINUTE.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]This
is very good advice. And if you follow it my guess is your mother will start to realize how mature and responsible you are becoming, and that you are ready to live outside of the home with your soon to be husband.
Seriously, having a dog is a HUGE responsibility and they are so much harder than cats.
[QUOTE]And in terms of getting a puppy... I was 25 and out of grad school before we got a puppy, and I did not realize how much WORK it was going to be. I cannot even imagine having one as a young student, especially in someone else's home. If the puppy is truly the only reason you want to move out... then just wait until you are married. Seriously, having a dog is a HUGE responsibility and they are so much harder than cats.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This. My parents actually adopted a puppy last year from this young man who had just graduated from college and was in his first "real job." Unfortunately, he didn't realize how many hours he'd have to spend at work, often working over 12 hours a day. He had gotten a puppy after taking the job, but quickly realized that he couldn't just crate her for 12+ hours a day. It wasn't fair to her.
It was obvious that he was very upset about having to give her up, but he had no choice. Life situations change so much, especially when you're still in college. Honestly, having a cat is NOT like having a dog at all. I don't plan on having a dog until long after I'm out of grad school, honestly. It's just too much responsibility.
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