My sister recently got engaged, broadcast it on FB and never told our mom. My mom found out about her engagement from a woman at church on Sunday. I knew my sister put off telling my mom, she said she just wanted to be happy & enjoy the moment. I understood that. My mom can be negative & judgmental. My sister has only been dating her fiance for 6 months, long distance. She felt my mom might judge her for that. (If it matters, she is 30 and he is 33).
Since it was on FB, I assumed my mom knew. I talked to my mom last night & she broke down crying about how hurt & insulted she is that her daughter wouldn't even tell her she was engaged. She had to find out from a woman at church who saw it on FB. This caused permanent damage to an already strained relationship. I talked to my sister today, I wanted her to know how mom found out & how much mom was hurting. So now my sister feels like garbage & I think she SHOULD feel like garbage because that was a really garbage-y thing to do. I'm honestly not even sure if my sister had any intentions of telling my mom.
My sister asked me what she should she do. I have no idea. Is there anything she CAN do? This isn't something that can be fixed by a phone call. Can it can be repaired at all? I have no idea. My heart hurts for my mom. I can't image how low she feels thinking that she wasn't important enough to know about her daughter's engagement. Because, you know, when someone doesn't tell you they are engaged it's usually because you aren't important enough to them to know.
(I feel relieved after typing all of that out)