Background: we have two ushers- one is my cousin the other is FH's cousin. When FH asked his cousin, W, to be an usher a couple months ago, W responded with "if you want me to," and that he may not be able to go to the rehearsal or whatever because of the distance (he's in Chicago, we're in Milwaukee, not that far away, and the rehearsal is the night before the wedding anyway). We picked up on that he didn't sound thrilled about it.
So, this past week FH notified the ushers about the tux info and where he can be measured. W responded with, "Id rather pass on the tux since there is not a location near me and I'm an usher not standing up. The past few weddings I went to the ushers did not have a tux. I have a nice vest I can wear that looks like a tux and can get a tie or shirt to match what the groomsmen are wearing. Please let me know if this is ok. I'd rather not go through the hassle since I live far away."
I don't really know what to do (and my mom isn't giving any advice about it). My initial reaction was that if he really doesn't want to be an usher and put a little effort into it, then he doesn't have to be (would be easier if he just stepped down). Honestly, I would be fine with him not being usher (this may sound petty, but at Easter he hardly acknowledged my or FH's existence and only said bye to us because his mom told him to. Irritating.) Plus if he didn't have a tux but the other usher did, that would look odd. And I'm not sure if the other usher (my cousin) even owns a suit.
Basically, what do I do?!?!? Thank you all...
Condensed: Usher doesn't want to drive to get a tux fitting, we sense he doesn't want to be an usher in the first place, was rude at Easter. He suggested wearing a suit with a vest. Other usher will be wearing tux. What to do??
