Wedding Woes

I need some advice.

The other night while I was out food shopping I saw one of my friends cheating on her husband. The supermarket has a Starbucks in it and as I was walking towards it to get myself a coffee I saw her standing online, she was wearing a very skimpy outfit which was kind of shocking to see considering she usually dresses very conservative. I was about to call out to her but when she turned around she had two cups in her hand and went and sat down with some guy. I thought maybe it was just a friend but the way she was dressed really seemed strange. I decided to stay out of her line of sight and watch them for a minute. Sure enough after she handed him his coffee he reached over and began to kiss her. I got all freaked out and got as far away from them as I could. After I got in my car I decided to wait and see if I could see them leaving together, I was thinking maybe it wasn't her. But then I noticed her car, so I parked a few cars away and waited. About ten minutes later they walked out together holding hands, she got in her car and he got into his car and they drove off. I followed them. They went to a motel. I know I am wrong for not just minding my business, but I couldn't help myself. I haven't told anybody, not even FI. I feel bad for her husband he is such a sweet guy and I know it doesn't mean much but he is way better looking than the dude in the coffee shop. I don't think I am going to say anything to anyone, is that wrong of me. They are more of a second tier set of friends and we do not hang out with them very often and I feel like it is not my place to get involved. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
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Re: I need some advice.

  • Also sorry for the wall of text, for some reason the mobile version of this site does not recognize paragraphs.
  • I think you should take pictures and extort hush money out of her.
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  • DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:293c1d16-bc45-4c18-8d9d-4bfaa4ac4165Post:e5979451-f11b-4cca-a776-db8f5f68e85f">I need some advice.</a>:
    [QUOTE]The other night while I was out food shopping I saw one of my friends cheating on her husband. The supermarket has a Starbucks in it and as I was walking towards it to get myself a coffee I saw her standing online, she was wearing a very skimpy outfit which was kind of shocking to see considering she usually dresses very conservative. I was about to call out to her but when she turned around she had two cups in her hand and went and sat down with some guy. I thought maybe it was just a friend but the way she was dressed really seemed strange. I decided to stay out of her line of sight and watch them for a minute. Sure enough after she handed him his coffee he reached over and began to kiss her. I got all freaked out and got as far away from them as I could. After I got in my car I decided to wait and see if I could see them leaving together, I was thinking maybe it wasn't her. But then I noticed her car, so I parked a few cars away and waited. About ten minutes later they walked out together holding hands, she got in her car and he got into his car and they drove off. I followed them. They went to a motel. I know I am wrong for not just minding my business, but I couldn't help myself. I haven't told anybody, not even FI. I feel bad for her husband he is such a sweet guy and I know it doesn't mean much but he is way better looking than the dude in the coffee shop. I don't think I am going to say anything to anyone, is that wrong of me. They are more of a second tier set of friends and we do not hang out with them very often and I feel like it is not my place to get involved. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
    Posted by FLANYTATOOGURL[/QUOTE]

    oh come on.

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  • In Response to Re:I need some advice.:[QUOTE]I think you should take pictures and extort hush money out of her. Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]
    LMAO! That's a good idea, too bad I didn't think of it at the time.
  • Oh come on? What?
  • I think you should videotape it all and then submit it to Lifetime for a movie idea.
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  • Your friend and her boyfriend are terrible at dating.  Who starts a date at the grocery store for coffee? 

    Try again.

    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • WzzWzz member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    if this actually happened, and it happened to me that i saw the sedond tier friend, i would say something like, "hey i saw you the other night at [name of store]. weird we were both shopping there, is that your usual place?"

    let her know you saw her.

    also, *ded* at DG.
  • For real, if it were me, I would start it at the Stabucks at Target. Everyone knows Target is the classy way to start a night of romance.
  • DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:293c1d16-bc45-4c18-8d9d-4bfaa4ac4165Post:91939e71-5a92-43bf-b214-8e2fdd961581">Re: I need some advice.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your friend and her boyfriend are terrible at dating.  Who starts a date at the grocery store for coffee?  Try again.
    Posted by zsazsa-stl[/QUOTE]

    To be fair, when NBIL was having his affair, they would go to Barnes & Noble for dates. IDK where they went afterward to get busy, though. SIL would chat up her boyfriend during her shifts at Home Depot.

    ^ You can not make this sht. up. Or maybe you can. But I'm not.

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  • i'm glad they are together.  if they were in a car accident on the way to the motel, at least they wouldn't die alone and afraid.
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  • In Response to Re:I need some advice.:[QUOTE]Your friend and her boyfriend are terrible at dating.nbsp; Who starts a date at the grocery store for coffee?nbsp; Try again. Posted by zsazsastl[/QUOTE]
    Well for one it is in a completely different town and is the only Starbucks in the area.
  • WzzWzz member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    also, the first person i'd tell is H if i saw this nonsense, especially if i took an extra half hour to do some grocery shopping because i were spying.

    and then he'd be jealous that he didn't come with me so he could have witnessed all of this.
  • In Response to Re:I need some advice.:[QUOTE]i'm glad they are together.nbsp; if they were in a car accident on the way to the motel, at least they wouldn't die alone and afraid. Posted by hmonkey[/QUOTE]
    But they were in separate cars so unless they crashed into each other they would be alone and afraid.
  • In Response to Re:I need some advice.:[QUOTE]also, the first person i'd tell is H if i saw this nonsense, especially if i took an extra half hour to do some grocery shopping because i were spying.and then he'd be jealous that he didn't come with me so he could have witnessed all of this. Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

    My Fiance is terrible at keeping secrets and he likes to shout people out in Facebook.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:293c1d16-bc45-4c18-8d9d-4bfaa4ac4165Post:3ea87955-e431-4f09-9408-df1ba53bf087">Re: I need some advice.</a>:
    [QUOTE]i'm glad they are together.  if they were in a car accident on the way to the motel, at least they wouldn't die alone and afraid.
    Posted by hmonkey[/QUOTE]

    *DED*
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:293c1d16-bc45-4c18-8d9d-4bfaa4ac4165Post:3ea87955-e431-4f09-9408-df1ba53bf087">Re: I need some advice.</a>:
    [QUOTE]i'm glad they are together.  if they were in a car accident on the way to the motel, at least they wouldn't die alone and afraid.
    Posted by hmonkey[/QUOTE]

    lol forever and ever

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:293c1d16-bc45-4c18-8d9d-4bfaa4ac4165Post:f7ba42c8-37af-41e9-b9d6-3a413736b0e7">Re:I need some advice.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I need some advice.: My Fiance is terrible at keeping secrets and he likes to shout people out in Facebook.
    Posted by FLANYTATOOGURL[/QUOTE]

    So?  Why do you need to keep this a secret?
    image
  • WzzWzz member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker

    what is the advice you are asking?

    i vote tell your FI and have him shout out anyone he needs to shout out on FB.

  • yes, fb seems the appropriate venue to address this.
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  • My advice? You have no idea how someone else's marriage works. Keep your mouth shut - or if you just *have* to say something, tell your friend you saw her. Or thought you saw her. 

    This could be negotiated non-monogamy, for all you know. Or her husband has a cuckolding fantasy. Or any number of things, but one thing it definitely isn't is your business. 
    image
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I love this thread.
  • In Response to Re:I need some advice.:[QUOTE]My advice? You have no idea how someone else's marriage works. Keep your mouth shut or if you just have to say something, tell your friend you saw her. Or thought you saw her.nbsp;This could be negotiated nonmonogamy, for all you know. Or her husband has a cuckolding fantasy. Or any number of things, but one thing it definitely isn't is your business.nbsp; Posted by baconsmom[/QUOTE]
    Thank you
  • WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT IF SHE WAS BEING KIDNAPPED?

    but that could also be a kidnapping fantasy!

    what if that IS her husband and you don't recognize him because he shaved off a beard or something?

    what if she got a new job as a hotel interior designer or a maid?  (don't ask if she is being tipped as a hotel maid -- trust me on this one, do NOT bring it up)

    by the way, i looked up "shout out" on urbandictionary.com and i do not think it means what you think it means.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:293c1d16-bc45-4c18-8d9d-4bfaa4ac4165Post:0a27906c-0283-4720-a3aa-10f72ad1bdef">Re: I need some advice.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love this thread.
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

    I know.  Like someone else said, we need like buttons on here.  I want to like almost all of these responses.
  • WzzWzz member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    i'd like to give a shout out to hmonkey for clearing that up. good looking out, homes.
  • HOLLA!

    (i also looked that one up to make sure it was appropriate in this instance.)

    (it was!)
    image
  • WzzWzz member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    i'm still surprised that you don't gossip with your fiance. this is our favorite pastime! what do you talk about when you go out to dinner if you don't gossip about other people?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:293c1d16-bc45-4c18-8d9d-4bfaa4ac4165Post:985e6f5f-fdde-4808-9e26-d8bfe1278290">Re: I need some advice.</a>:
    [QUOTE]My advice? You have no idea how someone else's marriage works. Keep your mouth shut - or if you just *have* to say something, tell your friend you saw her. Or thought you saw her.  This could be negotiated non-monogamy, for all you know. Or her husband has a cuckolding fantasy. Or any number of things, but one thing it definitely isn't is your business. 
    Posted by baconsmom[/QUOTE]


    Or, for all any of us know, she could be out and out cheating, which could be a dealbreaker for him if he knew.  I never understand this argument for inaction.  If it's something they agreed to, then saying something hurts no one; at worst, they're slightly embarrassed.  If it's not something they agreed on, then saying something prevents this guy from wasting a larger portion of his limited lifespan on a situation he doesn't want. 

    To recap: saying something could save someone from a lot of harm at best, and at worst make people a little squirmy; saying nothing could let people live squirm-free at best, while at worst making you an accessory to wasting some poor guy's life.  Which sounds like it comes out better in the cost/benefit analysis to you?
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:293c1d16-bc45-4c18-8d9d-4bfaa4ac4165Post:5312fe1d-5b35-4bd2-b8a2-49f2ce328394">Re: I need some advice.</a>:
    [QUOTE]i'm still surprised that you don't gossip with your fiance. this is our favorite pastime! what do you talk about when you go out to dinner if you don't gossip about other people?
    Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

    <div>I was wondering the same thing, we are big time gossipers.</div>
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