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June 2012 Weddings
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Pre-Marital Counseling

kaitlyn142kaitlyn142 member
100 Comments
in June 2012 Weddings
Is anyone else doing secular couples therapy? We just had our first session yesterday, and I think it's awesome. FI and I told each other the one thing we desperately want brought up in therapy and both of them got told to the therapist. I really connected with her, and she's much better than me at helping FI formulate his thoughts. She doesn't let him shut down like I do.

We're still doing pre-Cana, but the one time we met with my priest, he spent the entire meeting lecturing me on why gay marriage is wrong. As I am hugely for gay rights, this didn't go over well with me. I get that it's the Church's position, but he could have dropped it when I said I understood but disagreed. There was no focus on our marriage at all, so I decided to take things into my hands to make sure FI and I have everything sorted.
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Re: Pre-Marital Counseling

  • diamondx423diamondx423
    1000 Comments
    I'd love to do secular counseling as well, I just don't think we can squeeze it in. I'm sorry your priest did that; if that happened to me I'd walk out.
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  • HilraythebrideHilraythebride member
    500 Comments
    Thats great!!  Hopefully it is what you were hoping for, sorry your priest did that!!


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  • daria24daria24 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    How did you find your secular therapist? I've thought about doing it since we are not having a religious ceremony. How many sessions are you doing?
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  • smittojess88smittojess88
    100 Comments
    we go to a very modern, laid back type of church and as part of their process to marry you they require a "building blocks for marriage class" which starts Saturday. I'm excited to see what it entails!
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  • kaitlyn142kaitlyn142 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pre-marital-counseling-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a0288f16-4cf9-4af1-a5ed-4dd355b7e2edPost:bd51a7c5-057b-4e87-a488-5babb3e6d9ce">Re: Pre-Marital Counseling</a>:
    [QUOTE]How did you find your secular therapist? I've thought about doing it since we are not having a religious ceremony. How many sessions are you doing?
    Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

    I googled couples counseling, read bios to make sure we meshed (for us, nothing fluffy), and called till someone called back. Once a week through April, which is when work goes haywire for me.
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  • Megbo2012Megbo2012
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pre-marital-counseling-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a0288f16-4cf9-4af1-a5ed-4dd355b7e2edPost:2636e21a-8bf2-4a2b-99ff-4e1969055fa2">Pre-Marital Counseling</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is anyone else doing secular couples therapy? We just had our first session yesterday, and I think it's awesome. FI and I told each other the one thing we desperately want brought up in therapy and both of them got told to the therapist. I really connected with her, and she's much better than me at helping FI formulate his thoughts. She doesn't let him shut down like I do. We're still doing pre-Cana, but the one time we met with my priest<strong>, he spent the entire meeting lecturing me on why gay marriage is wrong. </strong>As I am hugely for gay rights, this didn't go over well with me. I get that it's the Church's position, but he could have dropped it when I said I understood but disagreed. There was no focus on our marriage at all, so I decided to take things into my hands to make sure FI and I have everything sorted.
    Posted by kaitlyn142[/QUOTE]

    <div>Wow that is terrible.  How does that pertain to YOUR marriage? I would have freaked out. </div>
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  • midgetthemightymidgetthemighty
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pre-marital-counseling-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a0288f16-4cf9-4af1-a5ed-4dd355b7e2edPost:34391d4e-91cb-4336-8c3b-e57a6bbf956b">Re: Pre-Marital Counseling</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Pre-Marital Counseling : Wow that is terrible.  <strong>How does that pertain to YOUR marriage?</strong> I would have freaked out. 
    Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

    I was asking the same question in my mind. How did they even come up?
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  • kaitlyn142kaitlyn142 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_pre-marital-counseling-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a0288f16-4cf9-4af1-a5ed-4dd355b7e2edPost:6f43dacc-791f-4ef8-8069-062a22238467">Re: Pre-Marital Counseling</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre-Marital Counseling : I was asking the same question in my mind. How did they even come up?
    Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]




    This was when NY legalized gay marriage. It was a hot topic in the churches. It started with how FI and I need to respect the sanctity of marriage and morphed into the rant against gays.
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