Last names

caseylynne21 · March 2010

I am curious about what you ladies are doing about your last names? I personally dont want to change my name at...and my FI and i have been round and round about this...i dont care to even hypenate...

Amaryllis619 · March 2010

We are pretty traditional, so it's never been a question of whether i'd take his name or not. I'm actually really excited to be Mrs.hislastname.

LisaTyler1984 · March 2010

I don't want to lose my last name! It's so weird; I feel like I'm losing party of my identity. On the other hand, I want my kids to have the same name as both their parents and I think hyphenating is cumbersome. I decided to legally change my name but keep my last name for business purposes. I work in the television/film industry so I will keep my last name consistent for credits. Plus I have a Jewish last name and that always helps in the media

LisaTyler1984 · March 2010

people give up their middle names? wtf... I would never

sassyredd2010 · March 2010

there was no question for me either, i knew way before he proposed i would take his last name. i've always thought that was so special

aerinpegadrak · March 2010

It's funny, I'm about as feminist as they come, but I always figured I'd be taking my husband's last name. My sisters both changed their names when they got married, and my mom took my stepdad's name. I've never been a fan of hyphenating (what happens when one hyphenated kid marries another?), so I'm okay with losing my dad's name

JessyNChris · March 2010

I'm taking Chris's last name. But I'm keeping my middle name. I love my middle name too much to lose it.

jrpetrik · March 2010

I dislike the symbolism of not changing. It was never an issue, which works out well, because my fiance prefers that I take his name

rhondalyn70 · March 2010

Because this is my second marriage and my last name is currently my ex's. I can't imagine marrying my "new" hubby and keeping my ex's last name.......lol!!!
Not even a disscusion...........

bbyckes · March 2010

I plan on keeping my last name professionally and using his name for personal business. I expect it to be a big cluster. Oh well, I'm not changing any official documents or anything. We'll see what happens.

Ishaba11 · March 2010

Although I have a lot of family pride that goes with my name and the fact that it's my italian root and FI's last name is german (i think. he is quite the mutt), I still plan on taking his name. If I hyphenated my name would be way too long since we both have long last names. I am not changing my middle name because it's a family middle name that goes back to my great-grandmother. I also love the sound of Mrs. hislastname. Mrs. mylastname-hislastname just sounds odd to me. Also, my paternal grandmother taught me that although you lose your last name you never lose your family and the pride you have for your last name. She would very proudly say she was always a Moran even though she married an italian.

impslave · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ce4d5cd9-c0d4-4cb2-94aa-b78291a9f3f9Post:9f1b5b67-8832-4083-984a-1ada92f459ba">Re: Last names</a>:
[QUOTE]I dislike the symbolism of not changing. It was never an issue, which works out well, because my fiance prefers that I take his name
Posted by jrpetrik[/QUOTE]

Could you clarify what you mean by "symbolism?" I'm curious.

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ce4d5cd9-c0d4-4cb2-94aa-b78291a9f3f9Post:9f1b5b67-8832-4083-984a-1ada92f459ba">Re: Last names</a>:
[QUOTE]I dislike the symbolism of not changing. It was never an issue, which works out well, because my fiance prefers that I take his name
Posted by jrpetrik[/QUOTE]

<div>You dislike the symbolism of NOT changing? The symbolism of not changing stemmed from the shift that women were no longer property of their husbands. </div>

CA2MT4EveR · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ce4d5cd9-c0d4-4cb2-94aa-b78291a9f3f9Post:885ff881-a1e8-4f76-989f-8ae4e0f5d4f4">Re: Last names</a>:
[QUOTE]I took H's last name, not really to keep in line with tradition, but because there are lots of men to carry on my family name and H's name is way easier to spell and pronounce. Not that I don't take pride in my family or the name because I do, it was more of a wanting to start my own family/wanting people to be able to say my last name thing.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

same here! My last name is not entirely uncommon, though people always mispronounce it and misspell it. Going to a very common last name with 1 spelling is very appealing to me :)

Pirata13 · March 2010

I'm doing what Alexia is--making my maiden name my middle. He knows I was very close to my grandparents and that after almost 40 years I am very attached to my last name. Plus we both do theatre so a lot of people know me under my maiden name. So when I perform I will use my full name (Pirata MyLast HisLast).

On_Cloud_Nine · March 2010

I'm taking FI's last name.

There was a time (before I even met FI) when I considered keeping my last name because it's such a blip in the family tree, but then I realized that I wouldn't pass that name down to my children because I would give them my husband's name, so what's the point? I wouldn't be keeping the family name alive, which would have been my only reason for keeping it.

(My dad was raised by his aunt, but they never legally adopted him, so he grew up with the name that his biological mother put as his father's name, and then my dad had 3 girls. So he's the only "Mylastname" in our entire family, aside from when he married my mom and had 3 girls.)

futuremrsrichardhall · March 2010

I plan on taking his name, but I don't particularly care for my last name and I'm the only one in my family who still has it. So, I'm ready for a change.

fairy_diva · March 2010

I'm taking his last. I'll be sad to see mine go, its been mine for years after all. I am dreading changing everything!

impslave · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ce4d5cd9-c0d4-4cb2-94aa-b78291a9f3f9Post:1615a18c-f3bb-486a-b19f-42924e2949e5">Re: Last names</a>:
[QUOTE]I have no attachment to my last name at all..... I am not close with my father's family & I have a brother who can carry the name. To me changing the name is 1 more commitment to your husband & I don't see it in anyway as I am now his "property". I understand doctors or lawyers who want to keep their maiden name, or some sort of profession like that. <strong>But to be honest I think it sounds silly for a women to say "well I like my last name better so I am going to keep it", that IMO is a slap in the face to my SO. I know that my FI would not stand for me keeping my last name. </strong> I will be keeping my middle name & taking his last name. I can't wait to take his name.
Posted by *BeachBride0410*[/QUOTE]

Wow. At the risk of sounding silly -- I like my last name better and I'm keeping it.

On a more serious note, if my FI insisted that I changed my name, I would have reconsidered marrying him. To me, he would have been disrespecting my feelings and wishes.

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ce4d5cd9-c0d4-4cb2-94aa-b78291a9f3f9Post:1615a18c-f3bb-486a-b19f-42924e2949e5">Re: Last names</a>:
[QUOTE]I have no attachment to my last name at all..... I am not close with my father's family & I have a brother who can carry the name. To me changing the name is 1 more commitment to your husband & I don't see it in anyway as I am now his "property". I understand doctors or lawyers who want to keep their maiden name, or some sort of profession like that. But to be honest <strong>I think it sounds silly for a women to say "well I like my last name better so I am going to keep it"</strong>, that IMO is a slap in the face to my SO. I know that my FI would not stand for me keeping my last name. I will be keeping my middle name & taking his last name. I can't wait to take his name.
Posted by *BeachBride0410*[/QUOTE]

<div>Seriously? So if a woman doesn't have a professional career she shouldn't be able to make her own decisions?</div>

LolaPizzy · March 2010

I don't normally post here, but I couldn't resist this one.

FI and I are both hyphenating our names - Mr. and Mrs. Mylastname-Hislastname (not that long though - only 5 letters in each). Mine is very uncommon and unique, and his is very common and simple. One day, I went out on a limb and asked if he would consider having the hyphenated last night. Ever since, he's used his hyphenated name initials. I know this is really odd and unusual. But I actually had a professor in college who did the same thing. His last name was hyphenated with his wife's, so we aren't the only ones!

I feel like I would lose my identity without my name being in there. Plus, I've lost that whole side of my family (paternal grandparents passed, and father passed a couple years later, his siblings did some super shady stuff to us children regarding his estate/will, so they estranged) so I already feel like I've lost enough of that identity.

I brought it up to FI the other day, to see if he still wanted to do it, and he got all giddy and said he is so used to thinking of himself now as Dave Myname-Hisname, that there was no way he wasn't taking it.

SuMmErKuTiE · March 2010

I'm taking his name.. nothing to do with tradition, it's more the fact that I want us to be associated together as a social unit and when we have kids as a family.

jenn.daniel · March 2010

I'm pretty traditional, and I'd always assumed that I'd take my husband's last name. It's also important to FI that I change my name to his.

luckyme502 · March 2010

Whenever I find out someone kept their last name, I always ask are they a doctor, lawyer or famous in their career field? If it's none of those, I think it's kinda weird.

felicia220 · March 2010

Hyphenating

I am very attached to my last name, it is a part of who I am. My FI is not overly happy about this decision, but ultimately has come to terms with it. My Children will bare their father's last name, as will I but keeping my roots as well. I am very proud of my family and our Italian Heritage. Also, my family name is known in our businesses and I will have to continue to use my maiden name for that. At the end of the day, I will still be his wife and have his name, while keeping a piece of the person I have always been.

bsidebella · March 2010

I'm taking his, and here's why:

I grew up with a hyphenated name - my mother's maiden name and my father's last name. My mom wanted me to have both names. Go figure. Well, it's fine on a birth certificate, but everything else was a hassle: filling out forms and getting my license and applying for college and not being able to fit my whole name on a credit card and fighting with my school registrar and fighting with the DMV...

Um, in summation, I can't wait to just have ONE last name!

golden1215 · March 2010

We are doing something pretty unique. FI was born with a very Irish (he's 100%) last name but his mother changed it to a very generic one when she remarried his stepdad and FI lost contact with his bio dad. He is really wanting his name to show off his heritage and his current last name doesnt have the greatest family history to it in the state he's from.

So we, as a family, are doing the following:
Me: First name, already hypenated middle name, my last name, his "new/original" last name (you can legally have two last names and not have to hypenate them so I can go by my current last name professionally since my name has a lot of family history- I'm very Swedish- and I'm very attached to it, and his "new" last name socially)
Him: First name, middle name, current last name, original/birth last name
Our daughter: First name, middle name, my current last name, new family last name

So many forms to fill out I am NOT excited!

golden1215 · March 2010

Also, I find it silly that so many American men get upset if the woman doesnt take his name.... in many other cultures, like Latin America, they take the woman's name.

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ce4d5cd9-c0d4-4cb2-94aa-b78291a9f3f9Post:8fb6d96b-a007-4df0-b4f4-d818da9e5426">Re: Last names</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, I find it silly that so many American men get upset if the woman doesnt take his name.... in many other cultures, like Latin America, they take the woman's name.
Posted by golden1215[/QUOTE]

<div>Not exactly. Traditionally in Latin America, a man keeps his name as is. The woman would add her husband's, so it would be First Birth D'Married, and she would use both. But their kids would have both names, dad's then mom's. So if dad was Smith and mom was Jones, it would be Joe Smith, Mary Jones D'Smith, and Joey Smith Jones. </div>

mkmccorm · March 2010

This is a dilemma for me actually! So I will be graduating from medical school this May, and do not plan to get married until May 29, 2011. All 3 of my medical board exams will be in my maiden name, my medical degree, my license that I will practice under for 3 years during my internal medicine residency will be in my maiden name. My fiance would like me to take his last name, his dad would like me to take his last name, his sister thinks it's best, his mom has left it up to me and would love me either way (totally understanding!) but is leaving it up to me.

My fiance is understanding but of course prefers to go the traditional route that I take his last name. So I am very conflicted about this situation! Fortunately, I have time to think about this and start the slew of paper work that will ensue if I choose, but I have to admit I kind of like my maiden name!

Oh the dilemma....do any of you have advice on choosing to go by your maiden name in a professional setting...in my case as a physician (which i will be called Dr. Maiden name for over a year before we are finally married) and then in social settings by my marreid name???

melanie_soontobe_mann · March 2010

i would prefer to be FIRST MIDDLE MAIDEN HISLAST but my maiden name is yarbrough. it would just be waaaaaaay too long. :] ill just take his name. and that is perfectly fine!

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