Should I be upset? Ring or no ring?

Binkey1313 · April 2010

My fiancé and I were going to get our rings. He said he didn't want to spend a lot on his ring because he didn't plan on wearing it except for that day of and if we were to go out. He is in construction and is always working with machinery and if afraid that it could get caught and rip his finger off. He said he would get a tattoo on his wedding band finger so that it represented that he was married but wouldn't wear a band...

Should I be upset?

erollis · April 2010

I wouldn't if he did have legitimate concerns and a real fear of his finger being ripped off at work. Go with him to get the tattoo just like you went to go look for his wedding band. Although I think he should put the band on as soon as he gets home from work tattoo or no tattoo. Him wearing a ring seems to mean a lot to you.
No ring at work = ok No ring at home = not ok
That is just my opinion. If you are doing premarital counseling you could even bring it up there. All in all it really is up to the both of you what happens.

[Deleted User] · April 2010

He has a good reason not to wear a ring. My DH is a landscaper and also works on boats for the state, and rings can be very dangerous. if it gets caught on machinery, he could lose a hand. If it gets caught on a net, he could go in the water and get hit by the boat. Not wearing it at work makes sense. Hell, we made sure to buy a cheaper ring ($70 titanium) because we knew he'd etiher lose it or scratch it up.

Now, if he refused to wear it in public, at home, or anywhere other than work, then yes I'd say you should be upset. We're thinking about getting a strong chain he can wear his on when he's at work, as a becklace can be kept under his shirt.

xoxob · April 2010

If he is willing to wear it out, then I don't see the issue. I would rather my husband keep his hand.

Jenni83 · April 2010

I wouldnt be upset over it,my husband doesnt wear his band (bc of his job) unless we go out,its no big deal to me.

nackiejichole · April 2010

It depends. Would you be upset if your DH only had 9 fingers? Oh excuse me 7 fingers and 2 thumbs.

Honestly I know quite a few men that cannot wear their ring to work for safety reasons. One found out the hard way and it wasn't some extreme accident either. If he planned on going out without you and then wanted to remove it I would question his motives. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

TroyandKelly · April 2010

Have you seen any videos of what wearing a wedding ring in a construction environment can do? I would insist that he NOT wear his ring to work.
I really like the idea of the tattoo on his finger - maybe I will suggest that to my construction worker FI that only plans to wear his band when we are out.

luckyme502 · April 2010

No, you should not be upset. Safety first!

LoveBugBaby · April 2010

If it's a safety issue, then you really CAN'T be mad he doesn't want to wear it to work. Lots of construction guys don't wear wedding bands because of not only the safety but the fact that construction work can pretty much destroy the look of a ring! I work for a roofing company, and many of our guys don't wear their rings.

Like someone else said, if he's wearing his ring everywhere else but work, then it shouldn't be a big deal. My best friends husband doesn't wear his to work (he's in construction) but when he comes home and showers, his ring goes right back on.

kristend72 · April 2010

First, I would say, skip the tattoo. Unless you're big tattoo people... Does he really want that at 70?

It's like when we were shopping for my ring. I said I didn't care if I got an engagement ring that would eventually work with a band. Then the sales people are telling me that if I get a band, I can wear just that when we go hiking or skiiing. Really? Why? Someone who is committed to a relationship will be committed to that relationship regardless of whether or not they're wearing a ring. Someone who isn't committed isn't going to let a ring or no ring phase them. I have a good notion Tiger Wods didn't even bother to take his ring off when he was cheating...

He has a very legitimate reason not to wear it at work. Don't worry about that part. Do you feel like social rules say you 'should' be upset?

missy68 · April 2010

My husband (then FI) wasn't sure he wanted one at all since he never wears any jewelry ever. That was his decision. Ultimately, he decided to get one, but only wears it when we go out or to get-togethers/parties, etc. He can't wear it at work, and he can't wear it with his hobbies, so he leaves it at home. That's fine by me.

Victoriatx · April 2010

my fiance says he wont be wearing his because of his job, i understand now but i jokingly tell him that i am going to draw a ring on his finger everyday with a black sharpie.

scrawford1957 · April 2010

I totally understand his reasoning behind not wanting to wear his wedding band at work. When you're working construction there are the dangers of it getting caught and it has happened. Mechanics are in the same position as well who risk getting their rings caught and risking injury. He can wear his wedding band at any other time just not when he's at work. So no...you should not be upset with him.

redheadfsu · April 2010

Why are you even thinking about being mad? Saving a finger/ hand > wearing a ring Now if your worry is about cheating or his behavior than you have issues that need work bf marriage. IMO say no to the tattoo, but i dont like them normally so take it w/ a grain of salt. Edit: can he wear his ring around his neck on a chain or something?

KatyRoseM · April 2010

My father never even had a ring, and he is a professor, so it wasn't a safety thing. It made no difference to their lives, however my mom didn't care and almost didn't get one herself, so it seems to be a personal choice for them.

Bubbalub · April 2010

My dad used to work in a field where wearing a ring was dangerous. He almost lost a hand once when it got caught in some machinery and then never wore his ring (basically, the ring was ruined and he/my mom never bothered replacing it). We grew up with our dad not wearing his wedding ring and never thought a thing of it.

My ex also used to work construction and I bought him a really nice, sturdy chain to wear his ring on when he was at work. The necklace sat under his shirt so it was not a safety hazard.

LisaLPharmD · April 2010

Get him one of those cheaper titanium rings. The one my fiance is getting is only $60. He's a cop and worried about losing it

betrothed123 · April 2010

If his safety is in question, of course you should not be upset. A tattoo would be more permanent anyway.

taraz579 · April 2010

my father is in maintenance at a nursing home & years ago his ring got pinched & required immediate removal for his fingers's sake. they were able to quickly cut it off & he was fine but doesn't wear his new band to work.

I agree, safety comes first. As long as he wears it at non-work places/going out....I'd be happy.

xkelbel06 · April 2010

My FI is a diesel mechanic, and he's not going to wear a ring to work either. But then again he works in a shop with a bunch of dudes, so I really hope wearing a ring is not necessary.

He's kinda glad that he's not going to wear it at work, so he can get a nicer one.

Just remember, fingers are much more important in the long run!!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

I know plenty of women who don't wear their rings. FMIL included. You have the right to feel however you want to feel, but I also think he has good reasons for not wearing it. I also like the idea of getting a tattoo, if he's that kind of guy.

goetzr19 · April 2010

Are you the kind of girl to get a tattoo, that maybe your FI and you could get say, your names tattooed on your fingers? I have seen many couples do this, and if you still want a wedding band, you could get it and wear it on top of the tattoo. I understand where you are coming from, but it's probably the emotion, since you were expecting him to wear a band? It sounds like you are more upset that he is only going to wear it once in awhile, not so much that he won't wear it at work. Is that right?

Midgetth · April 2010

My FI is a small engines mechanic (working on lawn mowers, snow blowers etc.) He plans on wearing a ring. But honeslty I'm afraid for him to. His hands are all scarred up already. His coworker doesn't wear a ring for safety reasons which seems to be why your FI doesn't want to wear his. My step father is also in construction & he does NOT wear one for safety reasons. So I say it's ok if you're FI doesn't wear one. I think he's better off NOT wearing one for his safety; he has alot of valid points. He loves you & you love him so there's nothing to frett about. It doesn't mean he loves you any less nor does it mean he's going to be picking up other women if that's what you're worried about. It just means he wants to keep all 10 fingers. The ring could easily take his finger off or get impeded into it where he has to go to the ER to get it surgically removed.

zitiqueen · April 2010

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_should-upset-ring-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:29afbe00-57fa-458c-bc39-c5e53a990785Post:87d0158d-cdee-4bea-88c1-4857a47051db">Should I be upset? Ring or no ring?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiancé and I were going to get our rings. He said he didn't want to spend a lot on his ring because he didn't plan on wearing it except for that day of and if we were to go out. He is in construction and is always working with machinery and if afraid that it could get caught and rip his finger off. He said he would get a tattoo on his wedding band finger so that it represented that he was married but wouldn't wear a band... Should I be upset?
Posted by Binkey1313[/QUOTE]

Yes, you should absolutely be upset. That whole "Oh, I don't want to lose a hand, I don't want to lose a finger" is just a lame excuse. If he really loved you he'd take that chance.</div>

larina+jeremy · April 2010

dont be upset! he definitely should NOT wear a ring or any jewelery while working with machinery! he could be seriously injured! and he made it a point to say he would always wear it out AND he wants to get a tattoo!?!?! sounds like your man is really sweet

honeybear9311 · April 2010

you can be upset, but you just cant bitch when his finger is gone...

LOL jk- but seriously dont fret, hes willing to get it tatooed! He has a logical reason not to wear it and he was upfront and honest about it

theresat858 · April 2010

Titanium rings - yes, they are cheaper. No, they are not safer and are a worse choice if he is going to be wearing the ring in an instance where a hand injury is likely to occur. Gold and platinum rings are easy for doctors to cut off if need be. Titanium rings are very difficult to cut through and cannot be easily removed in the emergency room (cutting off of a ring is required if the swelling of the finger is bad...) - hence can lead to more problems.

Just something to keep in mind.

squeakyduck · April 2010

Being upset is not always a rational reacton. I think it's fine to be a little upset that he won't be able to wear his ring at work. But then think about the rational reasons and move on. Don't let it bother you for long, but also don't let people tell you how you should feel. (including me! lol.) I like the idea of a chain for at work. Talk to your fiance about it. He sounds like he's willing to compromise.

526SadieSadie · April 2010

Titanium rings can't be re-sized either, so even if his digits remain intact, if he gains or loses weight you'll have to buy a new ring

HDutko · April 2010

My husband doesn't wear his ring all of the time. He's in the Military and also a volunteer firefighter. He wears it at home all of the time, and whenever it is safe for him to wear it out. That being said, he doesn't wear it to fires, nor does he wear it if we are in the field for the Army. This works for us and I am perfectly ok with it because I like him having all of his fingers.

tdso008 · April 2010

No need to worry, this is very common. Supposedly the "comfort bands" are easier to slip on and off, so he won't be uncomfortable wearing the ring when he wants to...

Enjoy!

Should I be upset? Ring or no ring?

Re: Should I be upset? Ring or no ring?

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