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Married girls - Thank you question

TerriandJoeTerriandJoe
First Comment
in New York-Hudson Valley
I know that has been asked a bunch of times.

But if you get a card from somebody -

Do you write "thank you for the beautiful card" or just write "thank you for sharing our special day"

I had thought that you mention the card - but my sister says it brings attention to the fact that it was just a card.

(I am stuck on how to write this one!)
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Re: Married girls - Thank you question

  • psichickpsichick
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    if someone sends you just a card (no gift) then you don't need to send a thank you card.
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  • rblucyrblucy
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I disagree with psichick about no card for no gift.  I did not have anyone that gave just a card but if I had, I would have thanked them for sharing our special day.  If they gave a card, I would assume no gift is coming in the future.  We had 2 couples that forgot to give us their gifts so they mailed them later.  I sent their thank yous when we received their gifts.
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  • summerbride11summerbride11
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    "Thank You for your thoughtful wishes. We were happy to have you share our special day."

    Side note: Are you sure that the card wasn't attached to a gift at some point?
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  • carolsdaycarolsday member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not married yet ,but i have imput on this one .  IF they ATTENDED  your wedding you send them a thank you card for sharing your day .  IF they MAILED you a card without a gift and WERE NOT at your wedding , you should not send them a thank you card , that really doesn't make sense.  Hope that helps :)
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  • kristinanddankristinanddan member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_married-girls-thank-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:4ff81f63-c208-4eda-b164-18a1e1dcc118Post:f2cc0d44-46a0-4d26-b420-8f851da60e59">Re: Married girls - Thank you question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not married yet ,but i have imput on this one .  <strong>IF they ATTENDED  your wedding you send them a thank you card for sharing your day</strong> .  IF they MAILED you a card without a gift and WERE NOT at your wedding , you should not send them a thank you card , that really doesn't make sense.  Hope that helps :)
    Posted by carolsday[/QUOTE]

    I disagree, unless they gave a card. If they attended without giving a card or gift, you already thanked them in person at the reception.
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  • Just JenJust Jen
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We have one who attended but no card/no girft. We're sending a "thank you for sharing in our day" type note.
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  • carolsdaycarolsday member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
     Kristen 

    my bad , I did mean if they attended AND gave a card
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  • psichickpsichick
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    why would you send a thank you card to someone who gives you a card? you thanked them on the day of for coming and sharing the day with you, there's no need to send them a thank you card also. you send a thank you card for a gift, which a card is not. it's a card.

    would you also send thank you cards to everyone who sends you a birthday or christmas card? no, because it's not necessary. this is the same thing.
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  • caketimecaketime
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If they attended the wedding, no matter if they gave a card, a gift, or nothing but plopped down, then you send them a thank you card for showing up.  Two people realized they forgot to send a gift when they got the thank you for sharing our day and no mention of a gift.  I then sent another thank you for the gift when I got the gift.  Better to be gracious and send one to many cards than send none.
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  • kristinanddankristinanddan member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_married-girls-thank-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:4ff81f63-c208-4eda-b164-18a1e1dcc118Post:e332ddb6-d3b2-4e59-854a-f963b81d81f4">Re: Married girls - Thank you question</a>:
    [QUOTE]If they attended the wedding, no matter if they gave a card, a gift, or nothing but plopped down, then you send them a thank you card for showing up.  Two people realized they forgot to send a gift when they got the thank you for sharing our day and no mention of a gift.  I then sent another thank you for the gift when I got the gift.  Better to be gracious and send one to many cards than send none.
    Posted by caketime[/QUOTE]

    I totally disagree with sending a thank you to someone who didn't bring a gift. What are you thanking them for? You already thanked them for attending in person at the reception. The card is then overkill. If you write a card and thank someone for attending, you are glaringly pointing out that they didn't give you a gift. Maybe they couldn't afford to, and your thank you card has now made them feel terrible.
    imageimageimage
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  • TerriandJoeTerriandJoe
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks girls!

    To clarify - the people did attend the wedding and the card was in our card box. But the envelope wasn't sealed. It was tucked in.

    We are doing picture thank yous so if someone came to the wedding (and didn't give a gift) they will get a "thank you for sharing our special day" note within the thank you card.

    I just wasn't sure what to write in this particular instance.

    Thanks for the suggestions! I'll keep you posted!
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  • caketimecaketime
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_married-girls-thank-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:4ff81f63-c208-4eda-b164-18a1e1dcc118Post:4fe92c2e-57c6-4346-bfe7-fde8508a1ef1">Re: Married girls - Thank you question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married girls - Thank you question : I totally disagree with sending a thank you to someone who didn't bring a gift. What are you thanking them for? You already thanked them for attending in person at the reception. The card is then overkill. If you write a card and thank someone for attending, you are glaringly pointing out that they didn't give you a gift. Maybe they couldn't afford to, and your thank you card has now made them feel terrible.
    Posted by kristinanddan[/QUOTE]

    It is still polite to thank them for attending.  Just because you thanked them at the reception does not mean you do not thank them again.  If they couldn't afford the can't afford and you would most likely already know that.  It is never overkill to write a thank you note.  I would rather get 10 than get none and you are acknowledging them.  What's wrong with that?
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  • mockninemocknine member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_married-girls-thank-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:4ff81f63-c208-4eda-b164-18a1e1dcc118Post:02164f2d-e173-4019-a7b5-78c608914c8b">Re: Married girls - Thank you question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married girls - Thank you question : It is still polite to thank them for attending.  Just because you thanked them at the reception does not mean you do not thank them again.  If they couldn't afford the can't afford and you would most likely already know that.  It is never overkill to write a thank you note.  I would rather get 10 than get none and you are acknowledging them.  What's wrong with that?
    Posted by caketime[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This!  </div><div>
    </div><div>I didn't individually thank everyone that was at my wedding.  I might have said "hi" or took a picture, or danced with them, but I certainly didn't thank everyone that night.  If they came to my wedding and didn't give a gift (which we had a few), I still sent a thank you that said "thank you for sharing in our day, it wouldn't have been the same without you...".  Maybe the person that didn't give a gift traveled a long way..... it is totally appropriate to say- "thanks!  i appreciate you made the trip!".  Just my opinion.

    </div>
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