She sounds crazy! I know everyone on here doesn't budge about the whole plus one for a SO thing, but I for think that in certain circumstances it shouldn't matter. In this case where she blatantly doesn't like you, why would you want her there? And if this is well k nown since she makes a point to publicly discuss that she doesn't like you, I can't imagine anyone would be surprised. That being said, if I were in your shoes I would probably still invite her only bc if her due date is on your wedding date, I doubt she'll be there. Either she'll have just had the baby, or will be expecting at any moment, and can't imagine her attending a wedding. Then you also get to be the bigger person. However, if you think she still attend... I'm all for you not inviting her as long as you FI agrees.
If she is not your friend or relative, there is no reason she needs to be invited to the showers and such. As far as the RD and wedding go, you do need to invite her, but since she is due on your wedding day, there is a very good chance she won't be there anyway. In which case, you took the high road and did the right thing, and she wasn't there. Sounds like a win-win to me. (Also his her H still going to be a GM with the wedding on the due date?)
She sounds like a really toxic person. I think you're probably stuck inviting her to the wedding and rehearsal dinner as the GM's date, but I don't see why she needs to be at your shower. I would suck it up and invite her, but pray like hell she has the baby and can't show for any wedding events. Otherwise, distance yourself as much as possible.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ever-ok-break-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b10e0e04-1fe4-45c0-8ac4-91aa1961cc1bPost:9b3f72aa-e198-4782-905a-c31fa5e96d05">Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??</a>: [QUOTE]If you don't invite her, you're probably going to damage your relationship with your fiance's best friend. But that whole situation just sucks. Posted by khornack[/QUOTE]
This. I think you need to talk to your FI about it and get his opinion. Maybe he can talk to his friend. If it were me I wouldn't invite someone so disrespectful to my wedding but most people on here will probably tell you that you have to invite her.
Just pray she pops the kid out right before your wedding so she won't show up!!!
talk to your FI and the two of you figure out a solution. I know there are 'rules' to wedding ettiquet but come on this is you and your FI's wedding day and you can do whatever you want because ::those you mind dont matter, and those who dont matter mind:: good luck
Nope, not ok to break the rule. But I don't think you have to worry too much about her showing up if she's due to give birth on your wedding date. I haven't known many 9-month-pregnant ladies who were anxious to throw on a snazzy sequined maternity dress...and of course, there's a good chance she'll actually give birth before your wedding and be in recovery on your day.
It sounds like she is a pill, but try to give her a little leeway....preggo hormones make you crazy! If she was terrible before than fine, but if not consider that she may be showing signs of a hormonal or chemical imbalance. The flip out when you asked her to change the shower date sounds like a classic case.
I think you might find that once you decide to invite her you feel good about it...like you have done something very mature and risen above the drama.
Thanks guys. I know Im gonna have to invite her. I just wish there was a way not to, lol.
Bigeye: This broad get no leeway from me. She was like this way before she was pregnant, lol. And if I know her, she will pop the kid out a few days before and bring the baby to the wedding just to somehow make the day about her, lol. That is how insane she is. Remember, this is the girl that decided it was a good idea to show up at our friends christening late, in jeans, yelling "WE ARE PREGNANT" as she came down the stairs (at 7 weeks preggo).
FI is at his wits end with his friend. He is really pissed that her H has not stepped in and told her to cut the crap. Plus, if she doesnt go, then there is no way she is going to let him come. Whether I invite her or not. Its such a shame. They used to be such good friends.
But so help me god if she continues with this garbage she is going to get an earful from me. I dont care if she is pregnant or not.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ever-ok-break-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b10e0e04-1fe4-45c0-8ac4-91aa1961cc1bPost:54909742-e892-4b73-9c24-1583b7ce7d31">Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??</a>: [QUOTE]Geez. Do you guys have someone who can step in as a GM in case she prevents her husband from attending? Posted by bigeyedm[/QUOTE]
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ever-ok-break-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b10e0e04-1fe4-45c0-8ac4-91aa1961cc1bPost:54909742-e892-4b73-9c24-1583b7ce7d31">Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??</a>: [QUOTE]Geez. Do you guys have someone who can step in as a GM in case she prevents her husband from attending? Posted by bigeyedm[/QUOTE]
If he cant come becuase of her, then thats fine. We have other GM's. I would not replace him.
I just hate when guys dont have any guts when they get married. If I ever pulled this crap, FI would have stepped in a long time ago and told me to knock it off. He is actually suprised that I have kept my composure, lol. I am known for popping off at the mouth.
OP, I agree that it's really not OK to break this rule. But I actually am breaking it anyway. My sister's husband is an absolute jerk. I hate him and I always have. I won't get in to the whole story unless you're really fiending for some wig-tastic trailer trash drama.
I'm open about my feelings and she's always known that I don't agree with her relationship with him. He also has never gotten along with my FI, and they can't stand each other.
My sister is a BM and she and I had a very open conversation about whether it was a good idea for her husband to attend my wedding. We both agreed that it's not. So he's not going to be invited.
Rule or not, I think the best reason NOT to un-invite her is that she would just love it if you did that. The mileage she would get out of how terrible you were being to her would be just ridiculous.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ever-ok-break-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b10e0e04-1fe4-45c0-8ac4-91aa1961cc1bPost:8567173c-fa2f-4068-b5c7-d8795db221be">Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??</a>: [QUOTE]Rule or not, I think the best reason NOT to un-invite her is that she would just love it if you did that. The mileage she would get out of how terrible you were being to her would be just ridiculous. Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]
She is one to thrive on this. "OMG did you hear what Melissa did?!? She is so jealous of me that she un-invited me to her wedding. Can you believe that??? What a rude person"
I know a lot of people like her and she will exploit whatever you decide to do. I know it really sucks but you do have to be the bigger person (even when you really don't want to be.) But chances are you won't even notice her on the wedding day - and hopefully she won't even be able to come.
But I definitely sympathize with you on this one. FI and I have someone we really don't want there but we have to invite her anyway.
It is really a difficult situation. I have something similar with FI's cousin's BF. Everyone in the family dislikes him, hates him really. But to be fair to her, we're inviting him. Perhaps for your shower you could say "I wouldn't ever plan to interfer with your Baby Shower by inviting you to my Bridal Shower." Then the wedding invite: she will blend in to the crowd of the wedding, don't worry about it. If you are at all lucky, and the Gods of karma have their way, she'll be in labor when you get married and you won't have to worry about it at all.
Yeah I agree that at this point you have to invite her. But if she's due on your wedding she may not even be able to attend, or will throw some huge pity party and demand her DH stay home and miss the wedding so he can take care of her.
Has your FI talked to the GM about his wife? If one of my DH's friend's wives were treating me like that, he'd for sure ask his friend what his wife's problem was. There's no excuse for that kind of treatment, pregnant or not.
I would probably mess with her, but that's just me. When she posts something on FB about being jealous, I'd be right there telling her she's soooo right, that I looove her hair and her body and her clothes and I wish I could be JUST LIKE YOU, that would make my life complete. Start asking for pointers on how to be classy so I'll know when to start calling people out on FB too. but then, I typically cause more problems than solve them, so I don't suggest that route.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ever-ok-break-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b10e0e04-1fe4-45c0-8ac4-91aa1961cc1bPost:0bceb286-be31-4564-874b-199dad931c99">Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??</a>: [QUOTE]I would probably mess with her, but that's just me. When she posts something on FB about being jealous, I'd be right there telling her she's soooo right, that I looove her hair and her body and her clothes and I wish I could be JUST LIKE YOU, that would make my life complete. Start asking for pointers on how to be classy so I'll know when to start calling people out on FB too. but then, I typically cause more problems than solve them, so I don't suggest that route. Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]
Yeah, don't go this route, either. It will just make you look incredibly immature to all your mutual friends. Take the high road here. Invite her to the wedding, and all other events GM is invited to. Just don't pay attention to her at them. Don't let her get a rise out of you and you will come out looking like the classy one. If she makes an ass of herself, she's going to look like an idiot.
kd.joseph's wish is my command
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
After reading all of this I had the horrible picture in my mind of her showing up at the wedding and then going into labor. I hope she doesn't pull any crap to ruin the wedding but she just sounds the the kind of person that would do it just because she can. Good luck with this. I am sorry if I stressed you out more. I feel stressed for you. I don't think I can stop thinking about this.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
I think you have to invite her to the wedding and RD, since she is the wife of a GM. However, I don't think she needs to be invited to any other pre-wedding parties if he isn't (shower, b-party)
Unfortunately, you have to invite her, but like PP, she'll probably be ready to pop or recovering from giving birth, so chances are, she won't even come.
Just take the high road and know that she's making herself look like an asshat.
She's probably trying to get you NOT to invite her so she can talk badly about you even more. Don't give in to her...just be cordial to her at the events.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ever-ok-break-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b10e0e04-1fe4-45c0-8ac4-91aa1961cc1bPost:ba388c85-b5aa-4b2c-868a-21077a32821f">Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??</a>: [QUOTE]She's probably trying to get you NOT to invite her so she can talk badly about you even more. Don't give in to her...just be cordial to her at the events. Posted by sophistryliz[/QUOTE]
Even when what you say actually makes sense, I still only see "blah blah blah crazy talk blah blah blah."
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ever-ok-break-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b10e0e04-1fe4-45c0-8ac4-91aa1961cc1bPost:b736b582-15c2-4b48-a303-cb848de3805d">Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??</a>: [QUOTE]... Posted by lharri12[/QUOTE] ???
kd.joseph's wish is my command
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ever-ok-break-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b10e0e04-1fe4-45c0-8ac4-91aa1961cc1bPost:81a2e4c8-29f5-4f93-b29e-111f4a3a9479">Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule?? : ??? Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ever-ok-break-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b10e0e04-1fe4-45c0-8ac4-91aa1961cc1bPost:e6b7b1e0-c3de-4224-aa2d-4d9b1440eb7f">Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule?? : !!! Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE] @@@
kd.joseph's wish is my command
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ever-ok-break-rule?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b10e0e04-1fe4-45c0-8ac4-91aa1961cc1bPost:0fb4a1ce-8124-4f15-951b-95d2a4899ddc">Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule?? : @@@ Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]
Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule??
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
Christmas Countdown
[QUOTE]If you don't invite her, you're probably going to damage your relationship with your fiance's best friend. But that whole situation just sucks.
Posted by khornack[/QUOTE]
This. I think you need to talk to your FI about it and get his opinion. Maybe he can talk to his friend. If it were me I wouldn't invite someone so disrespectful to my wedding but most people on here will probably tell you that you have to invite her.
Just pray she pops the kid out right before your wedding so she won't show up!!!
talk to your FI and the two of you figure out a solution. I know there are 'rules' to wedding ettiquet but come on this is you and your FI's wedding day and you can do whatever you want because ::those you mind dont matter, and those who dont matter mind:: good luck
It sounds like she is a pill, but try to give her a little leeway....preggo hormones make you crazy! If she was terrible before than fine, but if not consider that she may be showing signs of a hormonal or chemical imbalance. The flip out when you asked her to change the shower date sounds like a classic case.
I think you might find that once you decide to invite her you feel good about it...like you have done something very mature and risen above the drama.
Bigeye: This broad get no leeway from me. She was like this way before she was pregnant, lol. And if I know her, she will pop the kid out a few days before and bring the baby to the wedding just to somehow make the day about her, lol. That is how insane she is. Remember, this is the girl that decided it was a good idea to show up at our friends christening late, in jeans, yelling "WE ARE PREGNANT" as she came down the stairs (at 7 weeks preggo).
FI is at his wits end with his friend. He is really pissed that her H has not stepped in and told her to cut the crap. Plus, if she doesnt go, then there is no way she is going to let him come. Whether I invite her or not. Its such a shame. They used to be such good friends.
But so help me god if she continues with this garbage she is going to get an earful from me. I dont care if she is pregnant or not.
DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]Geez. Do you guys have someone who can step in as a GM in case she prevents her husband from attending?
Posted by bigeyedm[/QUOTE]
Yeah...don't do this.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]Geez. Do you guys have someone who can step in as a GM in case she prevents her husband from attending?
Posted by bigeyedm[/QUOTE]
If he cant come becuase of her, then thats fine. We have other GM's. I would not replace him.
I just hate when guys dont have any guts when they get married. If I ever pulled this crap, FI would have stepped in a long time ago and told me to knock it off. He is actually suprised that I have kept my composure, lol. I am known for popping off at the mouth.
DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
I'm open about my feelings and she's always known that I don't agree with her relationship with him. He also has never gotten along with my FI, and they can't stand each other.
My sister is a BM and she and I had a very open conversation about whether it was a good idea for her husband to attend my wedding. We both agreed that it's not. So he's not going to be invited.
Married!
rescue powered by
[QUOTE]Rule or not, I think the best reason NOT to un-invite her is that she would just love it if you did that. The mileage she would get out of how terrible you were being to her would be just ridiculous.
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]
She is one to thrive on this. "OMG did you hear what Melissa did?!? She is so jealous of me that she un-invited me to her wedding. Can you believe that??? What a rude person"
I know a lot of people like her and she will exploit whatever you decide to do. I know it really sucks but you do have to be the bigger person (even when you really don't want to be.) But chances are you won't even notice her on the wedding day - and hopefully she won't even be able to come.
But I definitely sympathize with you on this one. FI and I have someone we really don't want there but we have to invite her anyway.
Has your FI talked to the GM about his wife? If one of my DH's friend's wives were treating me like that, he'd for sure ask his friend what his wife's problem was. There's no excuse for that kind of treatment, pregnant or not.
I would probably mess with her, but that's just me. When she posts something on FB about being jealous, I'd be right there telling her she's soooo right, that I looove her hair and her body and her clothes and I wish I could be JUST LIKE YOU, that would make my life complete. Start asking for pointers on how to be classy so I'll know when to start calling people out on FB too. but then, I typically cause more problems than solve them, so I don't suggest that route.
[QUOTE]I would probably mess with her, but that's just me. When she posts something on FB about being jealous, I'd be right there telling her she's soooo right, that I looove her hair and her body and her clothes and I wish I could be JUST LIKE YOU, that would make my life complete. Start asking for pointers on how to be classy so I'll know when to start calling people out on FB too. but then, I typically cause more problems than solve them, so I don't suggest that route.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]
Yeah, don't go this route, either. It will just make you look incredibly immature to all your mutual friends. Take the high road here. Invite her to the wedding, and all other events GM is invited to. Just don't pay attention to her at them. Don't let her get a rise out of you and you will come out looking like the classy one. If she makes an ass of herself, she's going to look like an idiot.
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
my blog
She's probably trying to get you NOT to invite her so she can talk badly about you even more. Don't give in to her...just be cordial to her at the events.
[QUOTE]She's probably trying to get you NOT to invite her so she can talk badly about you even more. Don't give in to her...just be cordial to her at the events.
Posted by sophistryliz[/QUOTE]
Even when what you say actually makes sense, I still only see "blah blah blah crazy talk blah blah blah."
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
...
[QUOTE]...
Posted by lharri12[/QUOTE]
???
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule?? : ???
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]
!!!
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule?? : !!!
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
@@@
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it ever ok to break the rule?? : @@@
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]
,,,
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.