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Pastor can't make Rehearsal

kellya01kellya01
1000 Comments
in Christian Weddings
... but he can definitely do all of our pre-marital counseling, and take us through the process ahead of time.  He'll make it back in PLENTY of time for our wedding (he always takes his week of vacation on the ONE weekend that works for us as well as our vendors).  

He says that if I trust my wedding director to take us through the process (and he and the wedding director can talk ahead of time), then if I'm comfortable with that, he has actually done that before with another wedding and everything was fine.  Do I take a chance and go without the pastor at the rehearsal, or change pastors?  At this point, we really can't change the date.  It just messes with too many factors.  

Options - we have 2 other pastors at the church (1 is the Senior pastor, the one I'm talking about is the guy who used to be youth pastor when I was a youth) -- and the minister of music is also an option (My FI and I are all musicians so that could make sense too).  

Opinions?? 
July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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Re: Pastor can't make Rehearsal

  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I think that as long as he connects with your wedding director and has a copy of the program (order of the wedding service), he will be fine.  I'm sure he's done so many weddings that he knows what he is doing.  The rehearsal is really more for the WP and those involved in the wedding for readings, music, etc. since they are not accustomed to being in a wedding.

    My sister was my MOH and she did not make it to the rehearsal but she did just fine in the actual wedding.  I think you'll be okay.

    By the way, I'm assuming your rehearsal is the night before your wedding.  So if he is not back on the night before, does that mean he is coming back the morning of the wedding?  That's the part that would make me nervous.  What if something happens and he can't get back in time?
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  • kellya01kellya01
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, I think he said that they're coming back the morning OF the wedding from wherever it is that they always go that week (driving, I think).  I am worried about him making it back in time (if something should happen!) and since this is our first and ONLY wedding, I want to do things right.  

    I'm going to talk with the senior pastor at church tomorrow morning about what I should do.  The only problem is that he's retiring in February, so I don't know if he'll say yes... Of course he may just suggest that we keep with our original plan and do without the pastor for the rehearsal.  Its' really just for the WP, like you said... hmmmmmm.... thoughts are flowing... got to pray about it too!!! 
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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  • louiebluelouieblue
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My pastor and his wife were gone for the days leading up to my wedding and the night before the wedding, our rehearsal.  They were having their first round of IVF.  I didn't freak out because even though our pastor would be getting back into town a few hours before the wedding, it was his job to find a replacement if need be.

    In your case, your pastor has shown you no reason to be nervous.  I would speak with him and the senior pastor and make it clear that if, for some unforeseen reason, he couldn't make it back in time for the wedding, you'd want the senior pastor to step in.  Unless you are having an extremely personalized ceremony, all weddings are basically the same and nothing will go wrong during the ceremony.  These pastors have done their fair share of weddings and I'd have faith in their abilities to officiate yours.

    Keep in mind that many brides who 'Rent-A-Rev' or Justice of the Peace do not have them present during the rehearsal.  Lots of women only have the wedding coordinator lead the rehearsal.

    I don't know if DH and I are an exception, but all we did at our rehearsal was practice the order in which the bridal party would walk in.  We didn't practice our vows or anything of the sort.  The first time we knew exactly what was going to happen during the ceremony was on our wedding day while the ceremony was going on.  The officiant leads the bride and groom through the service, so I really wouldn't worry.
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  • Jeffie86Jeffie86
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you need to be worried.  If your pastor and the director communicate, everything should be fine.

    If you do feel you want to ask the senior pastor, retirement shouldn't stop him from doing a wedding, especially for one of his parishoners.  Retirement isn't absolute. 

    Could you do a run-through with at least some people before the pastor goes on vacation?
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  • JoyMatt424JoyMatt424
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Think about how many weddings he's probably done :-) My pastor can't make the rehearsal either (it's his anniversary!) and I'm not worried at all!
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  • kellya01kellya01
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    After I talked with my ceremony pastor at church yesterday, he made me feel a lot better about him not being there for the rehearsal.  We're doing all of our pre-marital counselling with him, and he will be taking us through the process before he goes on vacation so we know what all will be in the ceremony (along with going over what vows we're going to use )... so, for US, we'll get a rehearsal ahead of time.  Besides, like others have said - the pastor is there just for the couple anyway.  My wedding director should be able to handle running the other stuff, where people stand, etc, so I'm not worried anymore!  

    Cast all your cares upon Him .... Man, it is great to be at peace about these decisions I'm making jointly with the fiancee AND family.  This is going a little easier than I was thinking it would be. 
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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