Your In-Laws: Love em' or Can do without them?

Re: Your In-Laws: Love em' or Can do without them?

• missv19732000

  

  September 2012

  I definitely have mixed feelings toward my future in-laws. They are very nice, most of the time, but they have the tendency to take little jabs here and there, which piss me off.  I think it has to do with their ages - they are in their 70's and just have old fashioned ideas about "how things should be".  If they see my FI doing something that they feel Ishould be doing (helping wash dishes) they insinuate that I should be doing it.  We have 4 kids - we need to share duties, it's just that simple, but they don't get it.  I just grin and bear it, just like if it was my own mom or dad.  One thing I've learned throughout my life is to choose my battles wisely, lol!

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• annieoldfield member

  

  September 2012

  Love basically. They do a few silly things that i judge them for but its nothing that effects me personally. Theres a couple things that are annoying. Like how clean you need to be in the kitchen and the way that every time FFIL sees me he says " 'ello" like the queen. I really wonder if hell be doing that for the rest of his life, or will he stop after like 5 years? 

  

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• minionlover member

  

  September 2012

  I don't think that I am in the love/hate category, maybe like/dislike.  She usually means well, but sometimes has a hard time following through on things.  Like she said that if we had the wedding in the US she would contribute to the wedding.  We are having our wedding in FL and she isn't giving us a penny.  She told FI & I that she was NOT going to our exes wedding which she got invited too yet she couldnn't wait to tell us all the gossip about it after she got back from the reception.  We are still wondering if she is coming to OUR wedding because she hasn't booked all of her travel plans yet.

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• Mademoiselle D member

  

  September 2012

  I love my soon to-be in-laws and am thankful they treat me so well, almost like the daughter they never had. FI's parents are older and are older than my parents (about 10 years) but they are a trip. There are some things we may not see eye to eye but I am good at judging which battles to pick and to let go. FI tells me his parents have never liked any of his past girlfriends as much as they like me so that was always a promising sign for me. I can honestly say both FI and I are pretty lucky to have good soon to-be in-laws.

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• DorkyGirl17 member

  

  September 2012

  I love my future in-laws.  We've always gotten along well (thankfully!).  I'll never forget the first time his mom really met me we were hanging out on their front steps with his friend (he lived in the basement and his parents, brother, and niece lived upstairs) and the family was on the steps talking and I was quiet since it was only a few wks. or so into us hanging out and then she went to the garage and took out a collage frame that had photos of when him and his brother were little :-)  And after he proposed and I was crying, he told me that his Mom cried when he told her he was going to propose and that she's thoguht of me as a daughter for a long time.  His dad is great too.  I must say I got lucky because I have one friend who dbasically despises her bf's mom and my other friend didn't get alnog with her MIL either.

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• STBMrsDio

  

  September 2012

  I dated a guy before my FI whose Mother loathed me...so much so she found out what I was allergic to and would feed it to me. I was best friends with my brother in law waaaayyy before I ever met my FI and so I kind of knew my in laws before I knew him. I am know ETERNALLY grateful for them. Honestly I have no complaints about them, particularly my Mother in law. She only had sons, so when I came along she took advantage and really spoils me rotten lol. But I think having gone through the hell of dating guys whose parents where awful, I am really able to appreciate what I have. That being said I heard that people change after the babies are born so I'm sure at some point my Mom and FMIL will double team me LOL

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• PriscyScraps member

  

  September 2012

  I looovvveee them. Both my FMIL and FFIL were so happy to hear about the engagement. Actually his mom was the only one who knew about him buying the ring. They do treat me like family even before we were engaged. I know how lucky I am, my ex's parents were okwith me. They were nice enough but I felt it was kinda fake.

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• MrsFranco417 member

  

  September 2012

  am i the only one who hates my FI family? i mean, i get along with his dad, and sometimes one of his brothers, but other than that, i literally hate them and they arent welcome to the wedding or anything period. (and, my FI agrees with me)

  

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• LaMaFa member

  

  September 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-south-florida_your-in-laws-love-em-or-can-do-without-them?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:67Discussion:6830baff-644c-41e8-ad7d-a4c0a7fb54e3Post:fb2c5eab-cb27-422b-993b-237243ef425d">Re: Your In-Laws: Love em' or Can do without them?</a>:
  [QUOTE]am i the only one who hates my FI family? i mean, i get along with his dad, and sometimes one of his brothers, but other than that, i literally hate them and they arent welcome to the wedding or anything period. (and, my FI agrees with me)
  Posted by MrsFranco417[/QUOTE]
  
  If your FI agress, then there is obviously something wrong, and you shouldn't worry about it at all, they are the ones with the problem, and as long as your FI is seeing the same behavior/attitude, don't stress. The problem is not you, it's them, no matter how they try to spin it, and people will see that the same way your FI does.
  I have a similiar issue, but in reverse. I'm seriously starting to hate dealing with my mom for anything related to the wedding. She has some excuse for her mental state due to her multiple sclerosis, but it's not entirely that, much more of it is her simply being stubborn. :( My dad is helping corral my mom when and where he can, but well, she's still my mom and his wife, there's only so much either one of us can do to stop her/shut her up. Sometimes I just have to nod and smile and then do whatever the heck I want and deal with the fallout afterwards... like I am now with the officiant situation. Ugh.
  I adore FI's family (except his brother, whole other can of worms), his parents are amazing, and one of his grandma's bought my whole kitchen as a wedding gift (Kuerig, how I love you! lol). Even FI's extended family has been awesome, a couple of his cousins helped us move into our apartment over at school literally a couple days after they arrived from Cuba- they were a godsend for FI and FFIL. I just have to learn more Spanish so I can start attempting to thank them for everything. (Somehow, Muchas Gracias just doesn't seem enought to me).

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• Danny&Mel2003 member

  

  September 2012

  I love my mil she's been amazing to me since day 1 and I feel blessed to have her. I've heard of horror stories with in laws and I pray that my relationship with her only grows stronger. She truly is an amazing woman who raises both her boys on her own.

  

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