I'm unreasonably annoyed by something

VarunaTT · September 2012

I follow a professional lady gamer on FB (it is not ESquared).

She posts quite a few articles on the discrimination issues women face in gaming (community behavior, no acceptance, etc).

She also recently lost a bunch of weight using video games and a diet. Awesome.

She posted about her excitement b/c she had lost enough weight to wear a sexy Alice in Wonderland Halloween costume (what I call the slutification of Halloween).

I'm *scrunch face* over this.

6fsn · September 2012

I'd scrunch face that too.

MNNEBride · September 2012

That makes my nose wrinkle as well.

VarunaTT · September 2012

Okay, so it's not just me.

Good.

AuntFlo · September 2012

I know who you're talking about and yes - scrunch-face city all over here.

hmonkey · September 2012

:: facey mcscruncherton ::

halloween is so sluttified. i wish people would go back to its real meaning -- candy, sales on candy, day after sales on candy amd being sick for a little bit.

i am also not looking forward to every asian i know being psy for halloween.

zsazsa-stl · September 2012

Does she not realize that slutty clothes come in all sizes?

*Barbie* · September 2012

meh, it's good that she's comfortable enough with her body to slut it up for a day.

baconsmom · September 2012

What is Psy? And what is "gundam style"? I keep seeing this video all over my Facebook and I have no idea what's going on. It's like dubstep all over again. Now get off my lawn.

And no, Varuna, it's not just you. Is anyone calling her out on this? I don't know that I could stop myself.

**O-Face** · September 2012

Is she at least honest about her hypocrisy? Not that it lessens the sting...

VarunaTT · September 2012

BMom, I'm not going to be it's on FB, which is my real name and the gaming community is fiercely protective of any "calling out" of people (weirdly enough since when you think about it, the same people that would go after me for this are probably the same people who show up as trolls on fatuglyorslutty.com).

But I had to unsubscribe for awhile b/c I'm not sure I can keep my mouth shut.

The Psy cracks me up b/c he looks like Jujubean and then has this deep voice yelling gangham style!

**O-Face** · September 2012

*clears throat*

It is GANGNAM style!

*eyes all of you*

*slides out*

baconsmom · September 2012

OK. But WHAT IS IT?

VarunaTT · September 2012

And I'm not sure that she sees the hypocrisy. No comments have been made (that I saw until yesterday) about the conflict.

hmonkey · September 2012

gee, baconsmom, if only there was some kind of search engine or even some kind of encyclopedia that could answer that question for you.

*Barbie* · September 2012

wait... i don't get this at all. i'm not familiar with this woman or her posts about discrimination of women gamers, but I don't see what's wrong with her showing off her slimmed down figure.

she worked hard, she's proud of the results, and she feels good about the way she looks. what's wrong with showing it off a little?

does it make a difference that it's on halloween vs. some random friday night at the club?

VarunaTT · September 2012

"Gangnam Style" is a Korean language colloquialism that refers to a luxurious lifestyle associated with the Gangnam district,^[7] an affluent and trendy area of Seoul,^[8] where people are trendy, hip and exude a certain "swag". In a CNN interview, PSY has compared Gangnam to Beverly Hills, California.^[9] The term was listed in Time Magazine's weekly Vocabulary List as a manner associated with lavish lifestyles in Seoul’s Gangnam district.^[10]

To me: hipsters.

**O-Face** · September 2012

Bmom-it's a part of Korea that is synonymous with a luxurious lifestyle. Thus the "artist" Psy is rapping about the girls in this area. How the ladies/girls/women are "classy" but "ready to get down and party" or something like that. It comes complete with lots of shots of said area and a lovely dance.

VarunaTT · September 2012

Barbie, to me, it's the idea that you are going to be up in arms about the problems with the in the community re: treatment of women (too many issues to get into there) and then engaging in a costume that has all sort of feminist issues to me both with her before and after weight.

First that comes to mind:

Why couldn't she wear the sexy costume before? They make them in "plus" sizes (which she probably barely was). Why now that she's achieved society's idea of "skinny" is she allowed to be sexy?

WTF does sexy have to do with ALICE IN FREAKIN' WONDERLAND?!? Alice was a KID. (this one is not her fault, btw).

Women in gaming are attacked all the time, with rape threats, slut shaming, ugly comments, poser comments, etc. Why would she be buying a costume that basically carries with it a social stigma of having to be pretty/skinny enough for it, clothes that now make her look slutty, implying she might be asking for it, etc?

VarunaTT · September 2012

But also, I can see another side. Yay that she's slimmed down and is confident. And her clothes shouldn't be sending any message, that's the whole point of defining and fighting against rape culture.

But something about it is really just making me blanch.

mrsconn23 · September 2012

Do you think it wouldn't be as big of a deal if she had just posted pics after Halloween of her in her costume instead of making it a thing that she had lost the weight and could wear a certain (slutty) Halloween costume?

hmonkey · September 2012

kuus said something about lolo jones that applies here (with some modifications) --

It's probably because she complained about about female objectification and then wants to benefit from some of the worse aspects of it, all within a dizzyingly short span of time.

VarunaTT · September 2012

IDK, MrsConn. B/c I wouldn't know what she did for Halloween previously. Probably not, but I would've judged her for the costume anyway.

I have to admit that I'm so tired of the adult costumes for Halloween. Really. Costumes between consenting adults and in the bedroom can be fun. They were never meant for bar hopping and general public use to me, so I'm carrying my own prejudice here.

mrsconn23 · September 2012

Preaching to the choir here, re: adult costumes.

I'm not a Halloween person at all. But if I had to dress up for some reason (and I really can't think of a good one), I'd be going home made or conning my mom in to making something for me. I like to do Halloween with the little ones, but I'm not going to be sad the day the boys no longer do Halloween.

VarunaTT · September 2012

HMo, yes. That's very succinct.

*Barbie* · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_im-unreasonably-annoyed-by-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:df76a49f-c1d7-4f6d-8d70-b8b96a2098e6Post:aafe5527-f4a7-4769-a043-bca063469463">Re: I'm unreasonably annoyed by something</a>:
[QUOTE]But also, I can see another side. Yay that she's slimmed down and is confident. And her clothes shouldn't be sending any message, that's the whole point of defining and fighting against rape culture. But something about it is really just making me blanch.
Posted by VarunaTT[/QUOTE]

<div>^^^I'm looking at it from this POV. I see so many clothes that I LOVE, but would never fit me well or look good on me at this weight/size/figure. If I lose the weight/tone up/etc. I'd buy/wear them because it makes me happy and feel good about myself and the way I look. </div><div>
</div><div>I would think to shame this woman for wanting to wear a costume that makes her feel good about herself is just as bad as the guys who would call her a whore for playing video games.</div><div>
</div><div>would you feel the same way if a guy who was posting about equal rights/treatment in gaming would lose weight/beef up and decide to wear a loincloth for his Tarzan Halloween costume?</div>

VarunaTT · September 2012

Actually yes Barbie re: the male. I don't like any of the costumes that reveal so much skin, b/c that makes it about sex and that's not what Halloween is suppose to be about.

For example: in cosplay, I've mentally struggled with the God of War costumes, b/c theyr'e so revealing on both the men and the women cosplayers and at what point does it cease to be about being the character and showing off your hot bod? And if you're a gamer who happens to love all 3 games have serious awards and happens to have a hot bod (yes, it does happen) so you dress up as Kratos, which side of the issue is the "unfair" one? I'm not alone in this, many cosplayers struggle with the dichotomy between the "serious" cosplayers and the cosplayers in it for the "money" and being naked. Really, it's the societal problem of trying to judge anyone based on their looks, which I am not immune to.

I'm not trying to "shame" her for her clothes, thanks or call her a whore. I'm irritated by multiple factors surrounding her choice of clothing with her weight loss and her position that women in gaming are treated unfairly which those clothes being worn as a celebration of her weight loss completely demonstrates the attitudes held by the people doing the unfair treatment. But that's not her fault either. Hence the cognitive dissonance and discussion.

hmonkey · September 2012

[QUOTE]would you feel the same way if a guy who was posting about equal rights/treatment in gaming would lose weight/beef up and decide to wear a loincloth for his Tarzan Halloween costume?
Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]

1) men do not have this issue in gaming, so this premise is moo like a cow.
2) anyone who wear a loincloth as a tarzan halloween costume is going to be/deserves to be lit up.

[QUOTE] ^^^I'm looking at it from this POV. I see so many clothes that I LOVE, but would never fit me well or look good on me at this weight/size/figure. If I lose the weight/tone up/etc. I'd buy/wear them because it makes me happy and feel good about myself and the way I look. I would think to shame this woman for wanting to wear a costume that makes her feel good about herself is just as bad as the guys who would call her a whore for playing video games.
Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]

you should always feel good, and buy clothing that looks good on you, not because the clothing makes you feel good.

the way she frames her halloween costumes suggests that she does not feel good about herself. she feels good about the way <strong>other people</strong> think she looks.

dharmabunny · September 2012

In Response to Re:I'm unreasonably annoyed by something:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm unreasonably annoyed by something:But also, I can see another side. nbsp;Yay that she's slimmed down and is confident. nbsp;And her clothes shouldn't be sending any message, that's the whole point of defining and fighting against rape culture. But something about it is really just making me blanch.Posted by VarunaTTI'm looking at it from this POV. I see so many clothes that I LOVE, but would never fit me well or look good on me at this weight/size/figure. If I lose the weight/tone up/etc. I'd buy/wear them because it makes me happy and feel good about myself and the way I look.nbsp;I would think to shame this woman for wanting to wear a costume that makes her feel good about herself is just as bad as the guys who would call her a whore for playing video games.would you feel the same way if a guy who was posting about equal rights/treatment in gaming would lose weight/beef up and decide to wear a loincloth for his Tarzan Halloween costume? Posted by Barbie[/QUOTE]

Well, how much of this is really "for herself" and how much of this is expressly clamoring for acceptance/idolization/envy/approval from the objectifying groups, based on their own standards of objectifying How about this question. Would she dress as slutty Alice at a family reunion? Here's another food for thought. Why is it so damn important to dress to flatter your figure? Artfully hide what doesn't conform to the skinny standard?

VarunaTT · September 2012

She has posted nothing about any inner thoughts about this, btw, in any place I've seen. So, IDK if she (or anyone else) has opinions about this.

*Barbie* · September 2012

Varuna - I can't get into a whole debate on sexuality in cosplay vs characters in games (it's not a subject that I know much about) - but Kratos is pretty hot. *rawr* (i know, totally missing the point) - i have a question, but i'll start a new post

hmo - you *should* always feel good about yourself and the way you look, but to think that everyone does all of the time would be unrealistic. you don't have outfits that make you feel good because you look good in them?

dharma - you don't dress to flatter your figure? Isn't think something that anyone of any size should do? a plus sized woman in a beautifully tailored dress or suit is going to look and feel better than a plus sized woman in a mumu. same with a thin woman. ySIL is a toothpick (size 0-2, very fine boned) - and I know she has the same issues in finding clothes that look good and fit well as I do in a plus size.

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