Only-Child Myths

tidetravel · July 2010

I have a sister 2 years younger than me, and I cannot fathom growing up without her. Our best friend growing up was an only child. She doesn't exhibit many of the behaviors normally attributed to only children, and I honestly believe that it's because the three of us basically grew up as sisters.

DH and I want to have at least one more child, because we want T to have a sibling.

laurenclaire1386 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_only-child-myths?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:46b34474-918d-4ed0-ae28-c6a5c1550c12Post:5d57ab13-5e72-4748-9829-27c550dee094">Re: Only-Child Myths</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a sister 2 years younger than me, and <strong>I cannot fathom growing up without her. </strong> Our best friend growing up was an only child. She doesn't exhibit many of the behaviors normally attributed to only children, and I honestly believe that it's because the three of us basically grew up as sisters. DH and I want to have at least one more child, because we want T to have a sibling.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]
I'm the same way with my brother. It's a unique bond that I don't have, and could never have, with anyone else. The only relationship that's more important to me than the one with my brother is mine and FI's relationship.

Knittibell · July 2010

There was a great piece about this article on my local NPR station- it's about halfway down the list.

http://www.hereandnow.org/2010/07/rundown-713-2/

BluValkyrie · July 2010

Hmm, I always heard it was children who had siblings being the asocial ones, especially if the siblings were close in age, and even worse if they're twins; since there is always a playmate, they never need to make friends, because said friend is already built in. Where as an only doesn't have that built in playmate and has to actively make friends.

Least that was the case growing up for me and the FI (we're both onlies).

I persoanlly think onlies get bored less easily, because we had to find ways to entertain ourselves when our friends couldn't play.

Nebb · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_only-child-myths?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:46b34474-918d-4ed0-ae28-c6a5c1550c12Post:e0dd80f4-65fc-41fe-976c-c93dcbecac48">Re: Only-Child Myths</a>:
[QUOTE]Hahaha...I don't really care either!! <strong>When people talk too much I feel exhausted and like I am dying inside</strong>. Unless they are entertaining and funny. Then it is ok. Yeah, the more I talk the more I think maybe only childhood wasn't so kind to me.
Posted by saschaduran[/QUOTE]
I hate this. I doubt it has anything to do with being an only child but I just like quick concise conversation without a bunch of details that dont matter. Ive noticed I have started doing a "hurry up" motion with my hand sometimes when I talk to people (husband, my mom, etc), and im trying REALLY hard to stop. I just get bored if it takes too long to hear the important parts.

saschaduran · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_only-child-myths?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:46b34474-918d-4ed0-ae28-c6a5c1550c12Post:89ce084a-17be-428f-adff-71fd89dcd60d">Re: Only-Child Myths</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Only-Child Myths : I hate this. I doubt it has anything to do with being an only child but I just like quick concise conversation without a bunch of details that dont matter. <strong>Ive noticed I have started doing a "hurry up" motion with my hand sometimes when I talk to people</strong> (husband, my mom, etc), and im trying REALLY hard to stop. I just get bored if it takes too long to hear the important parts.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Hahaha! That is awesome. The worst part about feeling the way I do, is that I personally tell long stories with many extra details. I am a hypocrite.

</div>

sarahmk5 · July 2010

Dude, I love being an only child. Granted, I can be selfish and aloof, but I was in preschool from a really early age, so I was well socialized. And just as often as I like to be along, I want to be with friends.

Nebb · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_only-child-myths?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:46b34474-918d-4ed0-ae28-c6a5c1550c12Post:408c672b-9f22-4b9c-8346-e44d9fd71860">Re: Only-Child Myths</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Only-Child Myths : Hahaha! That is awesome. The worst part about feeling the way I do, is that I personally tell long stories with many extra details. I am a hypocrite.
Posted by saschaduran[/QUOTE]
I do too!

vegasgroom · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_only-child-myths?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:46b34474-918d-4ed0-ae28-c6a5c1550c12Post:b12eb1af-9b56-4ee1-8a4b-f5b200de9f22">Only-Child Myths</a>:
[QUOTE]The myths that only children are selfish, aloof, asocial, lonely and spoiled persists although there is a lot of evidence that only children tend to have higher levels of intelligence and achievement. As an only child I fit many of the stereotypes...I typically prefer my own company to that of others, I need a lot of alone time, I cannot tolerate chaos and noise in my house, I tend to make decisions based on how they affect ME, I am called aloof quite often, I have always scored very high on intelligence tests.
Posted by saschaduran[/QUOTE]

I'm an only child, raised by my dad through early teens, then went to live with my mom for the remainder. So my mom would spoil me when I went to see her and my dad didn't. He did, fortunately, make me get out of the house and do real world things with my friends instead of watch tv all day, but yes, I'd say I'm a bit selfish, I'm not outgoing unless I'm with friends, I was spoiled by my mom as a kid and I spoil myself now, but I've never been lonely. I'm also extremely self-motivating, ambitious, blunt at times and I'm smart (and I guess conceited lol).

Seems like many of my friends were not onlies, so maybe that does fit the stereotype of me being only child ending up with more outgoing friends who were not onlies. FI has one sibling. My memories of hanging out at friends houses as a kid were always siblings bitching and moaning about each other, fighting, pleading their cases to the parents who had to decide who was lying, etc. so I can't exactly say that I found that to be desirable, but FI and I do think we want two kids so guess we'll see what happens.

crys-crys · July 2010

FI is an only child. He hated it. He wants us to have at least 2. Since I was originally against having children when we met and have only softened towards having them in the last few years, I told him I won't promise more than 1. We are talking adoption after child number 1 though.

katiewhompus · July 2010

My life would not have worked out as well as it did if I wasn't an only child. I was also "a little angel" as my mom put it, because she had 3 miscarriages before me and a full term still birth after me. We did a lot of traveling and site seeing which probably wouldn't have happened if I had siblings.

I don't think I was "highly indulged" or spoiled being an only kid. Ever since I can remember I had a budget for toys and learned early on that just because I want it doesn't mean I can have it.

I also am perfectly content to be by myself, which I don't view as a bad thing. A lot of my friends have siblings close to their age and cannot bear to be by themselves, or silent, for more than 5 minutes. I don't think it's necessarily a healthy thing to HAVE to have someone surrounding you at all times to be happy or stimulated.

Scott and I are pretty much a "one chance and see what happens" couple now. If we have twins we'll have two kids, if we have one they will likely be an only. At this rate he'll be looking at 40 before we have a first child (yes I'm having a blue moment here) so waiting for a few years and trying for a second really isn't an option for us.

Miss_Sophia · July 2010

I'm the oldest of 3 (two little bros) and I've looked at stereotypes for birth order and I've always felt I fit the oldest. I do have the need to please people and protect others. I used to be selfish and never understood why my only-child cousin got all the cool toys. My mom said it's because I have two brothers to play with. But looking back, my cousin said she was always very lonely and wishes she had someone there.

My FI is the youngest of 3. It's really easy to tell he's the baby of the family, lol! Also, there's almost 8 years between his older sibs and him, so he really got spoiled.

We're thinking 2 or 3 and while we love the idea of having our own biological children we would love the chance to adopt.

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